How do YOU play a bard?

[der_kluge]

I've always been a little upset at the "locked" abilities of the bard class. Its true that bards are very versitle. A little bit of sneaking, a little bit of fighting, a little bit of spell casting, a large chunk of diplomacy-ing (if thats even a word ) But the notion that bards HAVE to somehow, in some way make noise of some sort (either with whistling, playing an instrument or just talking/singing) to use their special abilities and what not keeps me from really getting into them and understanding them.

I think the thing that I have a problem with, isn't so much that they have to make noise, but that it's not an option to remove it without sacrificing some power of the class. I mean, in 2nd edition, bards were more jacks-of-all-trades, but now they are really narrowly defined. In 3.5 they added some more musical effects, but that's not really the solution. That's like adding betters tires to a Pinto. I think what bugs me is that I'd rather see either a jack of all trades, or something more based specifically on music. It really should be two separate classes, I think.

Instead of whip'n out the flute just as the elder red dragon is betching out fire and playing a little Foreigner to help out

LOL!

 

[jessemock]

"Pull, pull, my fine hearts-alive; pull, my children; pull, my little ones," drawingly and soothingly sighed Stubb to his crew, some of whom still showed signs of uneasiness. "Why don't you break your backbones, my boys? What is it you stare at? Those chaps in yonder boat? Tut! They are only five more hands come to help us - never mind from where - the more the merrier. Pull, then, do pull; never mind the brimstone - devils are good fellows enough. So, so; there you are now; that's the stroke for a thousand pounds; that's the stroke to sweep the stakes! Hurrah for the gold cup of sperm oil, my heroes! Three cheers, men - all hearts alive! Easy, easy; don't be in a hurry - don't be in a hurry. Why don't you snap your oars, you rascals? Bite something, you dogs! So, so, so, then; - softly, softly! That's it - that's it! long and strong. Give way there, give way! The devil fetch ye, ye ragamuffin rapscallions; ye are all asleep. Stop snoring, ye sleepers, and pull. Pull, will ye? pull, can't ye? pull, won't ye? Why in the name of gudgeons and ginger-cakes don't ye pull? - pull and break something! pull, and start your eyes out! Here! whipping out the sharp knife from his girdle; every mother's son of ye draw his knife, and pull with the blade between his teeth. That's it - that's it. Now ye do something; that looks like it, my steel-bits. Start her - start her, my silver-spoons! Start her, marling-spikes!"

Stubb is Bard.

Plus, it's fun to house-rule 'Inspire Courage' into 'Deflate Courage', aka: the Bard taunts the enemy.

 

[Old Drew Id]

My bard was Ollie Thistle, a.k.a. "Mouth", a very skilled con-man. He worked for a regional crime syndicate and traveled around in a colorful wagon as a puppeteer. His wagon opened up on the side, doubling as a little puppet theater that he used to perform shows in town squares. He works well in social situations, "stings", "cons", and scams, but not very well in combat. The last time he was in combat, while attempting to sneak into a guarded mansion, he actually yelled out to one of his fighter allies, "Oi! Muscle! I'm casting, you know, that spell that makes you all beef, alright?" (By the way, Mouth speaks with a thick cockney accent when he is not faking another accent. )

Basically, Ollie likes the life of a thief, but he doesn't quite "get it." He favors style over stealth, and gets upset when the real guild life doesn't match up to the glamourous and flashy things he has heard about in stories. He looks a bit like Eddie Moran, and doesn't mind insulting people he works with if he thinks they messed up.
Sample Picture: http://www.adhoc.co.uk/images/page_text/5022/moranbig.jpg

Sample Phrases:
"Oi, bloke, don't -up this one. I know you get all sticky-fingered in these upscale flats."
"Stick it up yer arse, mate."
"Same to you with brass knobs on!"
"I'd fancy a pint right after this score."
"Nice. We were off sabbing the competition while you were sodding about here."
"'e likes the sauce, he does."
"Aye, it's not safe tonight, savvy? Wait til sparrowfart."
"Scarper lads, the bobbies are coming!"
"I wouldn't mind giving 'er a good seeing to, if you take my meaning."
"What's wrong, lad? You look plum-knackered, you do."
"Come on sunshine, shift your arse! We've got to drop this stiff."
"Yeh, the gaffer's got 'im by 'is short an' curlies now."
"I'll have a shufty at the place before we go in, eh? Make sure everything's sound as a pound"
"Oi! I almost signed my knickers there when i thought he'd squealed!"
"Let's snaffle the jewels and scarper before we snuff it."

Ollie was a con-man, so his Bluff and Disguise were just insane, and his other social skills were formidable. His Perform skill was just plain scary, but he didn't waste it on something as simple as singing or the lute. No, Ollie threw his Perform skill into puppeteering, oratory, and insults. Sure, he could play a few instruments too, and he could sing if he wanted too, but those were never as much fun for him.

Basically, Ollie would pull into a town, stop in the town square, pop open the side of his wagon, and start up a puppet show. Pretty soon all the kids in town are watching, plus most of the adults, and Ollie makes a pretty penny. Probably in the meantime, his teammates are pickpocketing someone or robbing the shop across the street, and using the show as a distraction. Then Ollie disguises himself as somebody else, runs a quick con or two, then heads out of town. Oh yeah, he also smuggles contraband in a few hidden compartments in the wagon.

As far as inspiring confidence and weakening the enemy and all that goes, Ollie went for the most direct approach: insults. If the enemy missed, he answered with "Ya bloody lummox, ya can't hit the broad side of a barn with that thing." If the enemy hit, it was "Ya think that hurt? Ya hit like a girl, ya stupid git!" And once his allies were already winning the fight and he got cocky, he would further inspire his comrades with puppet shows *in the middle of combat* like some insane Triumph the Insult Dog.

Anyhow, Ollie's biggest feat in the short-lived campaign was defeating an entire mercenary company single-handedly, at least in the way he tells it. Our thieves crew was supposed to hit a well-guarded caravan coming through town. The caravan had already been hit and was weak coming into town, but still too strong for us to take on directly. Plus, they had a dead wizard they were going to get raised, which would make them even harder to beat. And finally, they had a standing contract with a local mercenary group "the Blue Blades" to get reinforcements for their dead guards. So basically, they were already too strong for us in a straight-up fight, and about to get a lot stronger.

Enter the bard.

Ollie (along with the rest of the team) starts spreading rumors. Rumors about "the Blue Blades" and how they are disloyal, or criminal, or negligent, or whatever. He starts up a bar brawl or two and lands a few of them in jail. He disguises himself as a Blue Blade and commits a few very public crimes in town. And so on. Pretty soon, the reputation of the Blue Blades in this town is mud. Also, he spreads a few discrete rumors of a traveling cleric who owes him a favor. Ollie lets the right people know that he can get someone raised at a fraction of the price that they charge at the local temple. Then Ollie and the gang hire themselves on with a smaller mercenary group in town, the Green Shields, (or something like that).

Enter the caravan.

"We have this wizard to raise...yeah, we have money...a low price alternative, you say? Okay, but no tricks..."

In the city graveyard, the caravan leaders meet with Ollie and the party necromancer, who impersonates a cleric. But instead of casting raise dead on the wizard's body, the necromancer casts undead armor, and pretends the spell has misfired and that the now-undead wizard is attacking him. Ollie and the necromancer flee the scene, with the necromancer *wearing* the wizard's body. Presto, no more wizard problem.

Next up, the caravan leaders prepare to hire more guards. But what's this? The Blue Blades in this town are scum? Okay, who should we hire? The Green Shield? Okay! Now the whole party leaves town with the caravan, acting as caravan guards.

A couple of nights later, a LOT of poison in the food, and a few slit throats, and the caravan is ours.

and that is how I play a bard...

 

[I'm A Banana]

How do YOU play a bard?

With their strings. I've got a four-string bard in my closet right now.

 

[FireLance]

On the issue of inspiring courage and the appropriateness of singing in combat. It's really how you envision the character doing so.

For one bard I played, Guillaume Hallix the War Chanter (this was before Complete Warrior and the War Chanter PrC was published), his ability to inspire courage consisted of making threats, delivering insults and belittling the opposition in his outrageous French accent.

Another bard of mine, Sylvia Laundanan, was portrayed as a studious and bookish type (I gave her high Intelligence and maxed out all Knowledge skills that gave information about monsters). Her ability to inspire courage was delivered as a cold, clinical lecture about the creatures the party were facing, their strengths, weaknesses and likely reactions, and instructions to each party member on what they should do to fight them more effectively.

 

[Li Shenron]

There are only two ways I can see bardic music being played.

First is the obvious one, by singing/playing/reciting poetry. Playing being in general more cumbersome since it requires to keep your hands busy with the instrument, although it can benefit from magical instruments.

Second is simply talking in a very charismatic manner, producing supernatural effects on someone's morale. I think that it can fit the mechanic of bardic music with no problems at all.

The second way suits well a bard which instead of being a musician is an actor for example. As a matter of fact, he doesn't even need to follow the stereotypical traits of the D&D bard being a performer and a wanderer; he could just be a very experienced spokesman who has developed his talking skill into the supernatural.

 

[rounser]

Anyway.. bards just seem to me like they are To Much of everything and Not Enough of any one...

Yup. Lots of ways to suck, instead of just specialising at sucking at one thing, like wizards and melee.
Clever, isn't it?

 

[dbm]

4) Charisma really is the most irrelevant stat in the entire game. No matter how high the number is, a character is only as charismatic as the player (and vice versa -- a character will effectively be every bit as charismatic as the player, no matter how low the actual score is).

If your DM and players handle Charisma like that, you're playing it wrong. In my campaign, one of my players is a really charismatic guy in real life. His character is Charisma 5. He puts his foot in his mouth on a regular basis - that would be what we call role playing.
Similarly, if a character has a good charisma but the player can't come up with the goods then, as the DM, I make their skill roll in secret, let them start talking and play the NPCs response as dictated by the roll. Maybe they do come up with a ridiculous lie, but you'd be amazed at what people will swallow if you lie convincingly. I know, it was my hobby when I was a student. Try impersonating a Nigerian royal visit to Nottingham. We pulled it off

Dan

 

[Driddle]

There does seem to be an unevenness of sorts involved in roleplaying a character's six basic attributes. It's always been implied (if not overtly stated) that a "good description" of a character's actions can often earn a bonus toward meeting the goals of those actions. Unfortunately, charisma-based actions -- and to a lesser extent, those based on intelligence -- usually rely heavily on a player's own ability to express himself adequately. The average DM (yes, dearies; you are probably above 'average'; I'm talking about everyone else) is more likely to give a negligible bonus or none at all to a badly worded character interaction -- a speech, argument, presentation, etc. -- from a player who lacks social/intellectual graces himself, compared with a well-spoken player with the same character attribute scores.

Ironically, however, the physical attributes can actually suffer from the same limitations. I've seen it myself: A player describes some patently extreme physical stunt in glowing, corball, cartoony terms, only to have his peers roll their eyes and declare it impossible, even though his character sheet shows he's got major bonuses for his overall healthy physique and related skills.


It's a basic disconnect between the numbers we see on the sheet, a player's interpretation of those numbers as "roleplaying," and the audience's (GM, other players) comparison of his efforts and their own interpretations.

That's why we probably rarely see any serious roleplaying of a character's constitution ability, other than the cliche comment of "I can take the damage," nor any attempt to roleplay the wisdom ability. ("Listen to my insightful ramblings..." ???)

 

[FireLance]

There does seem to be an unevenness of sorts involved in roleplaying a character's six basic attributes. It's always been implied (if not overtly stated) that a "good description" of a character's actions can often earn a bonus toward meeting the goals of those actions.

That's not always true. The same DM that gives you a +2 bonus to Diplomacy checks for a well-delivered speech may not give you any bonus to your unarmed attack if you're a black belt in karate and describe how you go about hitting an opponent or any bonus to your Heal check if you're a certified first aider and you give a step-by-step explanation of how you're going to stabilize your friend.