D&D 5E (2024) How do you rule using a Hand Crossbow with a nick weapon

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No staring like that, you know perfectly well that in a movie a character could fire a light crossbow, throw a dagger, and reload the light crossbow in six seconds! No problems mate.

If you want the realism-not-heroism shop I think I saw Zweihander two streets over, and that's two doors down from Warhammer Fantasy!
 

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The Gunslingers with Weapon Cords was dumber than this. The rules worked like this:

A max level Gunslinger could normally only fire a one-handed gun a maximum of 4 times. But you could dual wield one-handed guns to get four shots with each gun. But wait a minute! You need a hand free to load the gun. Enter the Weapon Cord!

With two guns in your hands, both connected with weapon cords, you drop the gun in your left hand. Then you use your left hand to load the gun in your right hand and make four attacks. Then you drop the gun in your right hand and pull the gun connected to your left hand by a weapon cord back into your left hand. You then use your right hand to load the gun in your left hand to make four more attacks, for a total of eight attacks.

Now, if you can fire four shots with one hand, then four shots with your other hand, why can't you just fire 8 shots with one hand? Because that wouldn't be dual wielding! Now would it! o_O
You love to see it. This is why 3E/PF1 existed. If you were playing those games, and it wasn't for this sort of complete idiocy, I feel like you were doing it wrong.
 

No staring like that, you know perfectly well that in a movie a character could fire a light crossbow, throw a dagger, and reload the light crossbow in six seconds! No problems mate.

If you want the realism-not-heroism shop I think I saw Zweihander two streets over, and that's two doors down from Warhammer Fantasy!
I have realized that I DON'T want my games to be like the movies. I want them to be like the book. And how many times have you heard that the original book is so much better than the movie?

With a book you can stop and think, "Wait a minute... how did he shoot his crossbow, throw a dagger, and then load and shoot his crossbow again before the bad guy closed on him? He was only 30' away!" A book doesn't just keep going while you stop and think about things. A movie forces you to not think about what you just saw because otherwise you are missing what is happening right now. This is where the term Fridge Logic comes from. You are back home getting something out of the fridge, and that's when you realize that something in the movie doesn't make sense.

We are playing with the new 2024 rules and just last week one of my players questioned how the Alert feat allows the rogue to switch initiative with the paladin. The almost exact quote was: "I understand how it works in game terms, but how does that happen in the game world? What is happening that allows the rogue to get someone else to go faster?"

We discussed that for 15 minuntes and came up with some ideas, but none are great. Most likely I will go with the magic explaination. In world, the person with the alert feat knows they have a magical ability that allows them to alert another person at the cost of their own reaction time, and they conciously use it.

For those of you that don't care about such things and just ignore it. Great! Have fun! But our fun, which requires things to have an internal consistancy, is no less valid.
 

For those of you that don't care about such things and just ignore it. Great! Have fun! But our fun, which requires things to have an internal consistancy, is no less valid.
In a vacuum, it is equally valid I agree.

However, if you intentionally choose to play a game you know isn't designed that way, and doesn't really support that mode of play then it is less valid in that particular context. Like, if I play MASKS, and then get mad that it genuinely doesn't handle adult, sensible super-teams well, that is 100% on me, because MASKS isn't about that, it's about JLA/Teen Titans/New Warriors (and many others even outside comics), and it's not valid of me to be annoyed or w/e that MASKS is not about adult superheroes (even though I might wish the MASKS writers would take a shot at that).

Also this isn't just "internal consistency", you're using that term wrong, D&D is largely internally consistent, rather it's a kind of "verisimilitude" you want, but to more realistic-ish fantasy novels (a perfectly reasonable goal in a vacuum), rather than movies/games, whereas D&D's 5E's verisimilitude is strictly directed at D&D 5E. It's not trying to really simulate or even support fantasy really beyond this weird D&D 5E bubble. It's particularly not trying to support semi-realistic fantasy novels. That's why the stealth and surprise rules in 5E are absolute car crash if you try and think about them at all in a realistic way - much, much worse than the "alert" Feat - because WotC decided to sacrifice any more general verisimilitude in favour of minimizing surprise's value (for reasons unclear, given historically it's been a part of D&D - even 4E it was good), and making stealth surprisingly extra-complicated but mechanical reliable (but actually it isn't?) when versimilitude would actually have lead to much more simple rules. That's also why D&D's approach to magic is just absolutely alien compared to any fantasy novel (even some based on D&D!). That's why you spring back to 100% HP after an 8 hour rest. Because D&D isn't particularly concerned with "how it works in novels" or even "how it works in movies" (even though I was joking about it doing that), it's concerned with making what the designers view as a fairly playable game that is a fantasy RPG on its own terms and not much else.

Also sorry, what fantasy novels exactly? Because I can assure you that in Joe Abercrombie, Brandon Sanderson, George RR Martin, absolutely have plenty of scenes where people regularly do stuff fancier than firing a hand crossbow, throwing a dagger, and reloading that hand crossbow in under six seconds. I daresay this fellow could manage it even:


(Check out some of his bow videos)
 

In a vacuum, it is equally valid I agree.

However, if you intentionally choose to play a game you know isn't designed that way, and doesn't really support that mode of play then it is less valid in that particular context. Like, if I play MASKS, and then get mad that it genuinely doesn't handle adult, sensible super-teams well, that is 100% on me, because MASKS isn't about that, it's about JLA/Teen Titans/New Warriors (and many others even outside comics), and it's not valid of me to be annoyed or w/e that MASKS is not about adult superheroes (even though I might wish the MASKS writers would take a shot at that).
Sure, but D&D 5e 2024 (and the previous version) does do what I expect of it (for the most part), which is, in my opinion, a Magical Superhero RPG. The problems I have with it are fairly minor, and many of them are when it forgets what it is. It doesn't need to have abilities that have no in-world explanation for how they actually work. It is a Magical Superheroes game! Just say that magic does it! Crossbow Expert magically cocks and loads quarrels in your crossbow. Alert magically alerts a fellow party member, allowing them to react faster, at the cost of your own reaction time. I don't have to change any rules for that. It just changes how I describe it and the GAME does exactly what it is designed to do.
Also this isn't just "internal consistency", you're using that term wrong, D&D is largely internally consistent, rather it's a kind of "verisimilitude" you want, but to more realistic-ish fantasy novels (a perfectly reasonable goal in a vacuum), rather than movies/games, whereas D&D's 5E's verisimilitude is strictly directed at D&D 5E. It's not trying to really simulate or even support fantasy really beyond this weird D&D 5E bubble. It's particularly not trying to support semi-realistic fantasy novels. That's why the stealth and surprise rules in 5E are absolute car crash if you try and think about them at all in a realistic way - much, much worse than the "alert" Feat - because WotC decided to sacrifice any more general verisimilitude in favour of minimizing surprise's value (for reasons unclear, given historically it's been a part of D&D - even 4E it was good), and making stealth surprisingly extra-complicated but mechanical reliable (but actually it isn't?) when versimilitude would actually have lead to much more simple rules. That's also why D&D's approach to magic is just absolutely alien compared to any fantasy novel (even some based on D&D!). That's why you spring back to 100% HP after an 8 hour rest. Because D&D isn't particularly concerned with "how it works in novels" or even "how it works in movies" (even though I was joking about it doing that), it's concerned with making what the designers view as a fairly playable game that is a fantasy RPG on its own terms and not much else.
Okay, verisimilitude also works. I wasn't talking about "realistic-ish fantasy" novels in this post, although I am sure I have talked about them before. Probably when talking about weapon swapping. And I did house rule that you can only draw or stow once per attack action (plus one for your free object interaction), but that is not what I was talking about in this post. In this post I am embracing the super magic infused world of D&D 5e to explain how abilities that are not explained work by saying, "Magic does it."

And I find it interesting that you are saying that 5e isn't even cinematic. Over and over I see posts and video of people talking about cinematic this and cinematic that, and implying that because it was cinematic it was therefore good. Your post that I was replying to used the example of a movie as to why we shouldn't worry about loading a crossbow, because they don't worry about it in movies. I was trying to say that just because the don't worry about it in movies doesn't mean it is okay to ignore it in a game. Being cinematic isn't necessarily a good thing.

I understand now that you were joking about the "how it works in movies" (thanks for clarifying).

But you seem to be saying D&D 5e isn't trying to model a book or a movie, but just be a fantasy game. At least, that is what I think you are saying. My apologies if I got that wrong. But honestly, to me, that makes it even worse. This would imply that the internal consistency, or verisimilitude, of D&D 5e is that the natural laws of the world the characters live in are that of a fantasy game. So they would know that all wounds heal after 8 hours of rest. And it isn't because of magic, it is because they know they live in a game world and the game rules say they heal all wounds after 8 hours of rest.

That is not the impression I got from reading the book. The impression I got was: "The characters heal and tend to their wounds off-screen. Don't worry about what actually happens." This is very different from a game world like The Order of the Stick where the characters themselves, in universe, are aware of the game rules.
Also sorry, what fantasy novels exactly? Because I can assure you that in Joe Abercrombie, Brandon Sanderson, George RR Martin, absolutely have plenty of scenes where people regularly do stuff fancier than firing a hand crossbow, throwing a dagger, and reloading that hand crossbow in under six seconds. I daresay this fellow could manage it even:


(Check out some of his bow videos)
I've seen his videos. Good stuff! But I don't think he could pull it off. And especially not if he had to do it on the fly in the middle of a combat where people are trying to kill him.

I have seen video criticizing Legolas from the Lord of the Rings movies saying they can shoot arrows faster than he can. Then they start with three or four arrows in one hand and rapid fire them. Great! Now how fast can you shoot twelve arrows? Can they reach back and pull out three more arrows, getting a perfect grip on all three, so that they can rapid fire three more arrows? Probably not, otherwise they would show themselves doing it.
 

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