I pretty much see as the the player conversation abstractly representing what, to an experienced adventurer, is rapid and appropriate tactical decision making. The players don't have the ability to react instantly and reflexively to a developing situation; the characters, on the other hand, do.
I'd feel it a little unfair to demand that the players be able to mimic the capabilities of their characters. Players can't cast spells, dual-wield weapons, defeat dragons in combat, etc. - and neither can they act instinctively like a tactically trained SWAT team.
They're merely talking through subsconscious decision-making processes that their vastly more combat-experienced and capable characters are able to perform instinctively in a split second.
I think this is an over-rationalization of a decision to play the game in a given manner.
Either a given player knows his PC's capabilities, or he does not. Either he knows the rules, or he does not. Either he understand the capabilities of the other PCs, or he does not. Or some set of middle ground on these. A player can make an excellent decision without a committee meeting.
I'm not saying that all tactical decisions need to be made in a vacuum, but I think that it is not unreasonable to put limits on the cross table talk.
Let each player play his own PC.
The idea that members of the group should comment on or suggest the actions of each PC infers that a player shouldn't be roleplaying (and tactical decisions are a form of roleplaying) his PC without advice from his fellow players. I don't buy this model.
I prefer the model where everyone does what he wants to do (including the possibility of a quick in character command or suggestion on a PC's turn) and the players find out through experience of playing with each other how to be tactically capable. It's not always unfun to have someone jump in front of your area effect, forcing your PC to either include that PC in the blast, or come up with an alternative idea. This also encourages the players to have the PCs interact verbally with each other in combat:
"Florin you idiot! You jumped in front of my shot."
This level of roleplaying is mostly lost if the group can cross table talk tactical decisions whenever they want.
Also, even though the PCs have these abilities doesn't imply that they actually know how to use them together as a team effectively. That's a desired goal, but that doesn't mean that they have this skill. Cross table talk by definition gives them a teamwork quality that the group did not gain by adventuring and hence the players learning.