how to hit on girls without being creepy?

[Teflon Billy]

T-Bill, you're a rapscallion, you know that?

Know it? I am their acknowledged leader (see Stone Angel's sig file)

 

[mythago]

the thing that determines whether a situation is sexual harassment or not is whether or not she thinks the guy is cute.

Yes--ponder how much fun it would be to have your boss, who is drop-dead gorgeous, tell you that if you don't cheat on your wife/girlfriend/SO with her, she'll fire you so fast you'll bounce off the pavement. Or have her make disparaging comments about your looks in front of customers. Wouldn't be any big deal as long as she was really cute, right?

Hida, dude, you're looking at this the wrong way around. The question is, why *should* girls give you the time of day, much less part of the night? What do you have to offer them? "They should go out with me because I want them to" is not gonna do it.

I dunno if Hida is real or not, but I hope some of our studio audience is paying attention. There's a lot of good advice in this thread.

 

[Torm]

Yes--ponder how much fun it would be to have your boss, who is drop-dead gorgeous, tell you that if you don't cheat on your wife/girlfriend/SO with her, she'll fire you so fast you'll bounce off the pavement. Or have her make disparaging comments about your looks in front of customers. Wouldn't be any big deal as long as she was really cute, right?

With all due respect, you might want to actually read all of what someone said before pulling some of it out of context to give a belligerent response to....

Not saying I agree, but it is something to ponder.

 

[Teflon Billy]

One of the things they "stand for" is making themselves attractive to women.

What, you think you're the only guy who wouldn't rather be wearing sweats and a t-shirt?...



Yes, but "who you are" is apparently "fat sloppy guy who's not getting any action," and you don't really want to be that.

I wish you all the best luck in the world, but believe me, if changing the way you dress is the least of the compromises you have to accept to achieve and maintain a relationship, count yourself lucky.

Wulf

You know, I knew you were smart; I just had no idea how smart

....as for how i dress, i dress for comfort and convienience and to express my personality. i express my personality through t-shirts that relate to my interests (not all of them are black either, though most are)...

Slogan T-Shirts as an important reflection of your personality? Hida...forget that. This level of prode over something that is getting in the way of your goals is doing you no good at all.[/quote]

...i'm not going to change who i am and become a trendy, i despise the "fashion trend" crowd and all that they stand for. i'm happy with "who i am" in this area, the only way anyone's getting me to wear things that aren't "me" is if i'm being compensated financially. and the moment i'm off the clock, i'm gonna wear what I wanna wear...

I will never understand the guys who think they ae somehow "Selling out" if they dress nicely and take care of themselves.

Hida, what is so magical about financial compensation that it will get you to stop dressing like a gamer slob?

Why doesn't the idea of female companionship stirr you to such action?

 

[Obryn]

Wow, really? You look perfectly ok now. I don't know if you remember me from GenCon, but I never would have guessed.

Of course I remember you! How could I ever forget?

Yeah, I used to be absolutely gigantic. At Gen Con, I was about 20 lbs heavier than my lightest, though. I'm back on a diet now.

It actually made me a tad nervous. This is the sort of stuff that scary men do.

Scary and/or hopeless, yeah.

-O

 

[Teflon Billy]

Actually, I'm sure T-Bill's advice works with certain kinds of women.

I call that type The Vast Majority

Not all of them, though.

generalizations are what allow us to discuss groups of people.

I've always gone for the sweet, shy guys, in fact I married one. My reaction to jerks ranges from fear to telling them to go **** themselves.

...And yes, there will always be a girl who post to a thread like this claiming that neither they, nor any girl they kow likes jerks at all. While I am certain that's true in their case(s), it is not statistically signifigant enough to offset the fact that nice guys finish last is a truism.

It just means that they and their friends are anomalies...

 

[Obryn]

looks: i have a bit of a gut, which i'd like to get rid of, but that's probably not gonna happen
unless they invent a way to do so without large chas investment or willpower (something which i have not been gifted with)

Then maybe you should work on getting some willpower. As I mentioned, I was a huge fatass for a long time - 5'4", 270 lbs. It was not pretty, and I'll post a picture sometime. I don't have much willpower (or didn't), but I learned it damn quickly. Saying you have no willpower is an excuse not to even try to improve yourself.

i do try to bathe, shave, and use deodorant when i'm going to places i know girls might be.

No... this needs to be an every-day thing. Not bathing every day possible = smelly and greasy. Neither are attractive, and both are creepy.

as for how i dress, i dress for comfort and convienience and to express my personality. i express my personality through t-shirts that relate to my interests (not all of them are black either, though most are). i'm not going to change who i am and become a trendy, i despise the "fashion trend" crowd and all that they stand for. i'm happy with "who i am" in this area, the only way anyone's getting me to wear things that aren't "me" is if i'm being compensated financially. and the moment i'm off the clock, i'm gonna wear what I wanna wear.

I think others have covered this pretty well, but that's just another lame excuse. Nobody's asking you to stay on top of the latest trends or whatever. But just wearing nicer clothes helps a lot. A whole hell of a lot. What you're doing is making excuses to be lazy and stay in your rut and trying to turn it into a point of pride. I don't think the posters still active in this thread are going to let you get away with this.

i don't understand what you mean by "excessive intellectualization"? am i not supposed to think about things and analyze them? i don't understand how that's scary?

If you don't think there's something scary about looking for an exact time in seconds how long eye contact is appropriate... and don't think the "relationship matrix" is childish and creepy... Then you probably need more help than we can provide.

I'm a smart guy. I'll put my various test scores and such up against anyone. But one of the things I learned the hard way is that thinking too much is bad for you.

the thing is fear. fear is the obstacle i'm struggling to overcome, and i'm trying to minimse the fear by seeking advice on how to be bolder about meeting girls without doing so in an inappropriate manner.

Maybe it's fear. Maybe it's some of these other things above, too.

You asked us how to not be creepy. Nobody ever said it should be easy.

-O

 

[Captain Tagon]

Its NOT gonna happen! If you do this ten times, and even one of them freaks out or makes some kind of scene, I will personally paypal you ten dollars. I'd bet that a couple of them even smile and say hi back to you.

See if I'm wrong.

Hey, this happens to me like 4-5 times a week at school.

 

[Teflon Billy]

...What you're doing is making excuses to be lazy and stay in your rut and trying to turn it into a point of pride...

I wish I had phrased it like that.

What he said

 

[Snoweel]

Be yourself, love that self, bathe regularly and strive to be your best. Really thats all anyone can ask and if she isnt into it keep it movin. Someone better for you will be there

Hey dude, I dig your advice!

Wanna hook up at GenCon? I've got the Book of Erotic Fantasy...