how to hit on girls without being creepy?

[maddman75]

Now a couple people are kind of being hard on Hida, and he doesn't deserve it. He's at least got the guts to recognize that there's a problem with him, instead of railing at how unfair the world is.

The clothes are but a symptom of his fear. They are a convienent excuse for him not to change, for we all fear change greatly. Most people would, on a subconscous level, rather stay the same and be miserable than change and be happy. Deal with the fear, and the issue about clothing will evaporate.

And there's nothing wrong with gaming. I can describe gaming in a way that makes me seem cool, intelligent, and creative. But it sure isn't the first thing out of my mouth either - blathering on about your sophmoric mastubatory power fulfilment character isn't going to score any points. Just has to be framed in the right way.

 

[d20Dwarf]

Also very true. Who better to tell you what clothes chicks think you look good in than a chick?

I almost never go shopping without a woman, be it girlfriend, friend, or even my sister. It's just common sense.

And really I now like dressing this way, I feel better,

This is how it happened for me. Once I realized that I look and feel better when I wear something other than t-shirts, shorts, and jeans, I haven't turned back. That's not to say I still don't wear them, because I do, just not in any social situation that I think I'll need to be "up" for. Heck, the only reason I wore t-shirts at Gencon last year was corporate mandate (damn you Direkobold.com! oops, was that a plug? ).

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

There is no try only do when it comes to bathing. Ever day without fail. You dont know when you may meet Mrs Right or Miss Righ Now dont get caught wearing the stankpants.

Hehehehe... there is something WILDLY entertaining about the word "stankpants"

However, I must say - ESPECIALLY if you are looking to get laid, the shower and shave EVERY DAY is the most important thing.

When I check out guys, the first thing I notice is the status of their hair and their shaving habits. If a man does not have clean, groomed (or sexy-messy) hair and a smooth face/well groomed facial hair there is NO WAY that I would even give him the time of day.

Only after you have established a solid relationship can you let the shaving lapse and, even then, you still need to shower everyday if you expect to get laid.

So far as clothes go - gaming tee's can easily be really, really creepy if you are attempting to attract a woman that is not a gamer. As a woman that is relatively new to the game, I can say that shirts with dragons, dice, swords, beholders, elves, or any other tellingly nerdy object = instant creep out.

Now, several years later, I love gaming and all the nerdry that surrounds it and so those things do not creep me out... but, there was a time when something like that = RUN AWAY. Coming to accept the nerdy black shirt is a gradual process that, once again, is best served by a full-time girlfriend and not a quick screw.

I'm not saying to change who you are and leap onto the trend wagon, but a few nice shirts/sweaters (which do not have to be "trendy" - it is more important to be classic*) go a very, very LONG way.

*Feel free to ask The_Universe about this. He is not trendy - in fact, he goes to great lengths to insure that he does *not* hop onto that rumbling choo-choo of fashion. But, he manages to be well-groomed and incredibly dashing despite this fact.

 

[Droid101]

This thread just keeps getting better and better.

I love you guys.

 

[Captain Tagon]

Maybe it's being a part of the underground music scene, but girls I know definately seem to go more for the jeans and T-shirts guys than anyone else. Sure I like to look nice sometimes, but honestly when I'm wearing khakis and a button up shirt the kind of girls I'm interested in don't even look my way but I throw on some grungy looking jeans and a band or thrift store T-shirt and almost any of them seem happy to see me.

Basically, just figure out what kind of girl you're going after what they want in a guy. And seriously, shower regularly. I'm not as much a stickler on shaving since with shaving my head and face both it takes a while so I'll let it go for a few days at a time, but showering is very very important. Unless you are my old room mate who didn't sweat at all and could not take a shower for ten days and still get girls left and right, by being the nicest most non-jerk guy ever.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

I want it recorded for posterity that the word "stankpants" nearly made me choke to death on my Mt. Dew.

Gawd, that was funny.

 

[Wulf Ratbane]

And I'd like to have a dollar for every 'nice' guy who whines he can't get a date, while he chases after a handful of psychowitches and leaves his perfectly attractive, perfectly nice-girl friends sitting on the sidelines.

Deftly illustrating the underlying strength of the jerk method:

It's human nature to pursue most aggressively what you can't have.

That's why being nice usually doesn't work-- nice guys are boring and no challenge.

 

[devilish]

Deftly illustrating the underlying strength of the jerk method:

It's human nature to pursue most aggressively what you can't have.

That's why being nice usually doesn't work-- nice guys are boring and no challenge.

True --- I personally think it's subconciously.. "Hmm...this guy's a nice guy, but
if we run into trouble (aka get mugged) he might fold. If we have relationship
problems, he'll fold."

as opposed to :

"Hmm...this guy's a jerk --- if someone were to mug me/hit on me in a bar, he'd
come down on him like a ton of bricks. (my hero!) ... and if we have
some relationship problems, he'll stand up to me in case I'm wrong or I
need some pushback/tough love...."

 

[Desdichado]

Well, I'm not exactly a Don Juan or anything like that, but my wife certainly didn't hook up with me because of my jerkiness.

Then again, anyone who's read my posts here and there probably knows that I'm not exactly Mr. Nice Guy all the time either. I think the comment earlier that jerkiness=success is really a misplaced confidence=success descriptor.

And I think the bottom of all this discussion is blindingly simple, albeit hardly easy. If you want to hit on girls and not come across as creepy, stop being so creepy.

 

[Captain Tagon]

Well, I'm not exactly a Don Juan or anything like that, but my wife certainly didn't hook up with me because of my jerkiness.

Then again, anyone who's read my posts here and there probably knows that I'm not exactly Mr. Nice Guy all the time either. I think the comment earlier that jerkiness=success is really a misplaced confidence=success descriptor.

And I think the bottom of all this discussion is blindingly simple, albeit hardly easy. If you want to hit on girls and not come across as creepy, stop being so creepy.

And we have a winner folks.