How to tell the PCs...

[Tinker Gnome]

I'm sorry to sound so harsh, Galeros, but you are insistently acting like a spineless loser. Now, I don't mean that as a personal attack (although I'm sure it sounds like it), but as fodder for self-reflection.

Look at your constant replies here. They won't let you. They'll just complain. They won't let you continue.

SO??????

Like another has said, either do the thing or do NOT the thing. Either stand up and say "this is the way it is" or give up trying to be GM. If they don't like it, then simply stop GMing. Don't fight, don't argue, don't play games.

If you have to call mom & dad or a friend to get a ride home one night, then you can explain to mom & dad why whining git of a brother didn't give you a ride home - because he was being a stupid whining [expletive] and decided to leave you stranded because you stood up to him.

Look man, I'm telling you this because you're going to have to get used to this in life. People are always going to whine and complain and try to get you to back down from perfectly reasonable things. It's up to you to decide how YOU want to live your life and the rules you want to live by, then to do so without caving in every time someone else says "I don't like that. Change it!".

If I was so inclined to revisit the ugly past (which I am not), I'd tell you the story of two ex-friends who were unable to put their 2 year old boy to bed because "he'll just cry".

Don't establish a pattern in your life where you back down every time someone complains or wants you to do things differently. Or you will never have control over your own life - you will always be a slave to the fears and demands of others.

I admit,I am quie passive. Now The games are run at my house, so there is no chance of me being abandoned, but if I do not tell them some things, they complain. Even If I try to kep a level head, and do. He will not stop talking, and if I try to ignore him and continue on, I cant because of being distracted by him.

 

[Nightfall]

I'll have to give that a try...in the middle of a bit of a slitherin adventure right now in fact..

Also give one of the spellcasters a Heartclutch Devil too. Take some Familiar feats too. Might work to improve their power as a decent combo.

 

[Cithindril]

I admit,I am quie passive. Now The games are run at my house, so there is no chance of me being abandoned, but if I do not tell them some things, they complain. Even If I try to kep a level head, and do. He will not stop talking, and if I try to ignore him and continue on, I cant because of being distracted by him.

Just another question, are the other players your friends or his? If they're yours and your brother (who ought to act like he's older than 6) won't conform, don't invite him to play any longer. If the friends are his, it sounds like an impossible situation. I'd recommend creating a new group with your friends and ditch the Romper Room. In any event, you can't be having fun under these conditions so take a stand and make a change, or give up DM'ing.

Good Luck..

 

[Raven Crowking]

The DM invests more time and effort than any given player, and probably more than the players as a group, and should never lose track of that...or let the players lose track of that. Other people have pointed out the obvious: You need to tell these people "My way or the highway."

They talk over you? "Sorry, but unless you want to do some growing up right now, you're out of the game. Call me when you gain even a small amount of maturity."

They laugh at some poor sod using crutches? Well, that may not be your responsibility to clear up, but on top of the way they treat you it makes me wonder why you're even bothering to DM these people.

Cithindril put it best when he said "ditch the Romper Room."


RC

 

[Malic]

Hey Galeros,
Sympathy for your awkward situation.
There were a couple of useful ideas upthread on how to explain this specific issue to your players. Not that it should be too hard. I mean heck, this one is right in the MM in black & white, what are they complaining about?
But it seems like the real problem is DM authority in general.
If I were you I'd seriously consider if all the hassle is worth it. Is this really fun for you?
I have to agree with acid crash here. Telling them, 'cooperate or run it yourself', and sticking to it, is probably really important, or the situation will only get worse.
Perhaps you could find another group who might be less argumentative, or with whom you could play rather than DM if you like. There are plenty of contacts on ENworld who might be able to help?
Good luck!
PS. I wonder, is the rest of your group having fun, or only one or two? The game I once played in with an over generous DM turned into a farce and lost several players quickly. Would it be possible to talk to some of the more cooperative ones and get some backup to convince your brother to behave?

 

[shilsen]

Since these people are actually meeting up with you and gaming, presumably they enjoy the game and it is a worthwhile investment of time and effort. If so, I belive you seriously need to lay it on the line and explain that either they need to shape up or you quit DMing. I'm usually opposed to the "my way or the high way" approach to DMing, but in your case, it seems that it is generally "the players' way" and esp. "my brother's way", and that is a lousy way to do it.

On a related subject, most of the threads you start on this forum have to do with how bad your group is, how bad your brother is, and how painful it is do DM for them. I'm really curious why you continue to do so. Life is much too short to spend time doing things you don't enjoy.

 

[Raven Crowking]

I'm usually opposed to the "my way or the high way" approach to DMing, but in your case, it seems that it is generally "the players' way" and esp. "my brother's way", and that is a lousy way to do it.

You can always rephrase "My way or the highway" into "If I'm not enjoying myself, I have no intention of DMing." Both really mean the same thing. A DM can have a lot of latitude as to what "my way" or "having fun" mean.

In this particular case, though, I wouldn't be overly worried about being diplomatic.


RC

 

[DMH]

Use their wining against them. Every core race has the stats in the MM, no if and or buts. They want to play a dwarf, it is a first level warrior forever. Too bad they didn't put humans in there.

 

[Hitokiri]

Im just thinking of what's going to happen to his brother when he goes off to college if he trys playing like that. I can imagine what would happen in my group if someone told the GM "You can't do that.", and it's not a pretty sight.

Honestly,if you are desperate not to lose the group (and I do think it is time to just drop the group and find someone else, because unless you are really out in the boonies, you should be able to find someone around you who plays), I'd definately try to turn it around on them. They want to ride a horse, their PCs better have a ride skill. Want to swim? It better explicitly state on their sheets that they can do so, otherwise treat 'em as rocks. I'd have "generic" templates from the MM made up for each of their PC's, and the moment they insist on everything being "as it is in the MM", I'd hand them their new PC's (and see how they like playing a "standard" elf or dwarf or what have you). Expect there to be a fight and probably a lot of bad feelings at this point, they have learned that you will cave and no one likes going to game and having their expectations turned on 'em.

Alternatively, if it is just your brother being a snot, eject him from the game and continue. I realize you have to live with him, but I can't see how letting him walk all over you will help things, cause if he can do it in the game, whats going to stop him from doing it outside of the game?

Truthfully though, with the internet today, there is no reason to hang onto a group like that just to play. I think it time to get another group if I were you.

 

[Doug McCrae]

You think you've got it bad, man. One of my players punches me in the arm for every hit point of damage his character takes. It wouldn't be so bad if he was a wizard or something but he's playing a frenzied berserker.