[humor] The Top Ten Things you don't want a new player to say at the first game...

[Remathilis]

10.) "Thanks for letting me play. My other group was a bunch of jerks who didn't really appriciated my role-playing talent."
09.) "Can I see a list of your evil gods?"
08.) "Can I bring in my half-dragon drow-elf barbarian/ranger/assassin? He's only 3 levels higher than the party..."
07.) "Hmmm... Bab +6? Check. Hide 5 ranks? Check. Know: Religion 2 ranks? Check. Cleave, Imp Sunder, Power attack? Check. Hmm... Outsider eh?"
06.) "You're playing a monk? RoXXoR! We'll get you to pull for tonight!"
05.) "This home setting is nice, but can't we play in the Realms were all the kewl stuff is?"
04.) "Sorry I'm late guys. I just got into a big fight with my [boyfriend/girlfriend] and I'm not feeling to swift. I really just want to blow off some steam with my barbarian."
03.) "I saw you passing him a note! He knows something! I draw out my longsword and question him on what he knows. Talk or die rogue!"
02.) "What do you mean the NPC wasn't evil? Cast Detect Evil? I'm a paladin, I know evil when I see it."
01.) "No, I called dibs on the priest's sword in the middle of the room. I'm taking the sword. I don't care whether you think its an evil artifact or not. Listen, do you want to settle this dispute out-of or in game?"

Feel free to add your own.

 

[Henry]

"What? THAT'S the choice of classes we have? Where are the prestige classes?

This is lame! Any of you guys got a playstation or a Gameboy?"

 

[Rashak Mani]

"WOTC ? Neat name... I usually play White Wolf games."

 

[Ashrem Bayle]

Roleplaying? You mean like foreplay?!

 

[apocalypstick]

"What do you mean, 'someone stinks?' I don't smell anything..."

 

[Nightchilde-2]

"Hey, guess what! I have Brandon Lee's soul trapped in this crystal I wear around my neck."

...

true story.

 

[fruit slaad]

You mean that cold balls spell doesn't do what I thought it did?

We need a slower to have a good party. Let's look for an enchanter or a shaman.

We only have 4? We really need 6 to get the most exp out of this.


Fruit

 

[BlackMoria]

'I don't like your house rule on that. How about changing it to this?

'You guys are using 3.0? Get with the times - 3.5 rocks!'

'You guys are using 3.5? 3.5 will kill your game. Don't buy into the WOTC party line. 3.0 is a cooler game.'

'I used to DM. I can give you some pointers'

'Point Buy? I heard about guys like you. Lamers. Real players roll dice"

'Roll dice for character creation? That's for munckins. Give me standard array any day'

 

[Rashak Mani]

"28/32 point buy method only !! We always used 42 points !"

 

[Greatwyrm]

So, uh, when does Satan get here?