[humor] The Top Ten Things you don't want a new player to say at the first game...

[lastelias2]

I'm playing a sorcerer named Ash, and my familiar's name is Pikachu

 

[Trickstergod]

Actually, allow me to add in, as this actually happened...

"My boyfriend wants to come along, is that all right? He won't play, he'll just sit and watch."

Oh, that was a twitching. The answer was obviously no, and she never showed. Figures.

 

[Amne Lord of Amne]

Most of these are when I joined a group and a few I'll make up, and you can guess which ones are true.

"So when are you getting into costume?"
"How do you win at this game?"
"So which bottle of wine do you want?" yes a whole bottle per person
"Great a newbie! any bets on how long before he dies?" -in serious tone
"Can you get my miniature I can't reach it?" 400lb man pointing 2ft away
"You didn't act your alignment so you get no xp"
"My dog ate my PHB can I borrow yours and take it home for research?"
"Ummmm, whoever parked the red car outside... I'm sorry"
"We play a homebrew of 1e and 3e, but none of use like 2e"
"I'm playing a low magic world, but wizards are common"

Ugh couldn't think of any fake ones.

 

[Rashak Mani]

"I have a lot of experience with RPGs: Baldurs Gate, Neverwinter Nights, etc... "

 

[Mouseferatu]

I want to play a character just like that bad-ass elf guy with the bow and arrow in the Lord of the Rings movie! What's his name again?

 

[Tabarnak Smokeblower]

"Hey! Look at what I found in your mom's room!"

"I'll take care of the music" (puts on Cannibal Corpse at volume level 8)

"Wow your place sucks"

TS

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

DISCLAIMER: Col_Playdoh is by all accounts a very nice guy, but tell me this wouldn't floor you if the new player turned round and said this:

"Hi, my name's Gary Gygax. Pleased to meet you all."

 

[GravyFingerz]

"This? Oh, this is my plush Meowth, I bring him everywhere."

 

[Chimera]

Riffing off another thread... (Sorry TB)

"We meet at an Inn? Are the serving wenches good looking? I want one. I grab the nearest one and rip her clothes off. I'm going to do her on the table while you guys figure out the adventure."

others;

"My character doesn't like his character (pointing at long-time player)."

One I recently heard;

"Only Humans and Dwarfs, eh? Can I play an Elf? (no) How about an Insect race of some kind? (no) How about an Ogre? (NO!) Ok, how about (some wierd half-lion type centaur creature)?"

NO NO NO!!!

"Ok, fine. I'll be Human. How about an evil Fighter/Cleric?"

In a 'good' group? No. You know, perhaps you shouldn't play with this group. You won't be happy.

 

[Kestrel]

Where's the cheetohs???