I hate Christmas

[EricNoah]

I agree that it's depressing to get "bad gifts" from people who supposedly know you, especially if it happens year in and year out. It's all part of the "game" of Christmas, (the "I know exactly what to get you" game), which I also don't enjoy playing. But I personally wouldn't fire off a letter like the one in the original post. There's got to be a more tactful way of saying it. I'm one of those guys who never returns a gift even if I'll never use it.

 

[Storm Raven]

Wow, I bet your fun at parties!!

Many people think that the poor starving masses of the third world are appreciative of help when people try to give it. But the blunt truth is that many are not. Many are angry because of their own helplessness, and the fact that you represent concrete evidence of their helplessness. Many are not only not appreciative, but downright hostile because of this. It insults their strength as a person to accept aid from you, especially since you come from a culture that they see as a historical oppressor. People who do relief work in third world countries expecting to feel gratitude and appreciation are often sorely disappointed. You have to do the work for its own sake, not for any appreciation those you help will give you. If that comes, it is a bonus.

 

[Ralts Bloodthorne]

I have been getting lousy gifts for more than a decade.

Waaaah. Get over yourself. We all get lousy gifts, and have probably given them.

The only reason BRUT by Fabrege is still in business is because kids think that their father's will like it. It sits in the drawer till they become teenagers and steal it.

At first, I didn't mind because I didn't give out hints, or lists or anything like that. People got me what they thought I would like, and almost always whiffed. I pretended to be appreciative and kept much of the stuff because I felt bad returning it.

Wow, see, that's what the rest of humanity does.

But I decided that if I was ever going to get stuff that wasn't just useless clutter, I would have to let people know what I would like. I tried subtle hints and polite suggestions. I was ignored. I tried more explicit suggestions, and was ignored. I gave out a list, and was ignored. I said I would really like things on my list and not other stuff, and was ignored. I pointed out that I don't care for surprises, and don't really get any particular enjoyment out of opening an "unknown" gift. Not only was I ignored, I have gotten lots of gifts that not only don't I really want, but I would never want.

This is a last resort. I have tried all the polite and nice ways of getting this message out. I can't figure out any way to get my point out other than hitting them over the head with a clue-by-four.

Wow. Just... Wow.

Man, look, Christmas goes like this...

You buy a gift that you think they will like. Oftentimes it is something you would like, or think is neat, and buy getting it, you are not only giving a gift, but part of yourself along with the gift.

The joy is not necessarily in the getting, but rather, in the giving. You should be happy that you have people who care enough about you to actually get you something, to give you something they could have kept.

Seriously, what kind of example are you setting for son? "Get me what I want or I'll throw it in the trash and snub you!" isn't exactly a Christmas message I'd want to give.

 

[Storm Raven]

WOW that is an interesting perspective. Someone bought you a gift maybe hoping you might take the time to watch and maybe enjoy it.

Yes, he bought me something that not only wassn't something I wanted, but that I had explicitly said was the sort of thing I didn't want. I cannot stand Adam Sandler. I hate him with the passion of 10,000 burning suns. He knows this. He got me an Adam Sandler movie. He was really thinking about me when he decideed to get that!

 

[reveal]

Many people think that the poor starving masses of the third world are appreciative of help when people try to give it. But the blunt truth is that many are not. Many are angry because of their own helplessness, and the fact that you represent concrete evidence of their helplessness. Many are not only not appreciative, but downright hostile because of this. It insults their strength as a person to accept aid from you, especially since you come from a culture that they see as a historical oppressor. People who do relief work in third world countries expecting to feel gratitude and appreciation are often sorely disappointed. You have to do the work for its own sake, not for any appreciation those you help will give you. If that comes, it is a bonus.

I worked at a Vietnamese refugee camp helping people better themselves by teaching them to speak English and use computers. They were always grateful and very polite. I was invited many times to share in what little food they could afford and I was always humbled by those gestures. From your previouse posts, I think it's fair to guess that it was your own attitude that made people hostile towards you.

 

[EricNoah]

The joy is not necessarily in the getting, but rather, in the giving.

Joy ... and pain. (Plus ... Sunshine, and rain, of course.)

The pain of sitting there going "I have no idea what to get my grandma" turns into "bah, I'll just get her a stupid pen and she can do what she wants to with it." Yeah, I suck at Christmas.

Actually I love it when folks provide me with lists. It helps me know them better plus it removes the hardest part of shopping for Christmas -- figuring out the gift.

 

[Ralts Bloodthorne]

Many people think that family and friends are appreciative of gifts when people try to give them. But the blunt truth is that many are not. Many are angry because of their own sense of self worth, and the fact that you represent concrete evidence of their selfishness. Many are not only not appreciative, but downright hostile because of this. It insults their sense of what they are due to accept a gift they didn't want from you, especially since you had a list. People who give gifts expecting to feel gratitude and appreciation are often sorely disappointed. You have to give the gift for its own sake, not for any appreciation those you help will give you. If that comes, it is a bonus.

Fixed and quoted for the spirit of Christmas (Trademark of the Disney Corporation)

Seriously, dude, you let some time with a bunch of people like that ruin your feelings for Christmas, and suck the joy out of your life. You need to put behind the fact that they didn't appreciate what you did for them, and get on with life and relearn how to appreciate things.

Your son didn't give you anything on your list, instead, gave you a $2 paperweight? Did that hit File 13 too?

 

[Henry]

I said it before, and I'll say it one last time: Gents, let's lay off the personal attacks. Call SR's letter insulting, disagree with 'im, whatever, but lay off the name-calling and the character assassinations, or get a three-day temp-ban.

Thank you.

 

[Storm Raven]

The only reason BRUT by Fabrege is still in business is because kids think that their father's will like it. It sits in the drawer till they become teenagers and steal it.

And that sucks as a gift. Giving someone something they don't want is not in the "holiday season". It is thoughtless and rude.

You buy a gift that you think they will like. Oftentimes it is something you would like, or think is neat, and buy getting it, you are not only giving a gift, but part of yourself along with the gift.

The joy is not necessarily in the getting, but rather, in the giving. You should be happy that you have people who care enough about you to actually get you something, to give you something they could have kept.

if the joy is in the giving, then you should give something the recipient wants. All I see from the "pro-personalized gift" people is that you want to "give something of yourself" in the gift, and don't want to just get someone something they want. That's the height of self-centered rudeness. You are setting your desires ("to give something of yourself") above the desires of the recipient. You are deciding that your enjoyment in giving a gift you like is more important than their enjoyment in getting a gift they want.

And I'm the rude one? I don't think so. Without acknowledgeing it, you are perpetuating one of the rudest practices I can think of.

Seriously, what kind of example are you setting for son?

The example I set for my son is that he gets gifts he actually wants. He understands that my generosity is in getting him something for him that he thinks is cool, not something I think is cool.

 

[Dingleberry]

This is a last resort. I have tried all the polite and nice ways of getting this message out. I can't figure out any way to get my point out other than hitting them over the head with a clue-by-four.

How something like "I'd prefer to not receive any gifts this year. I'm lucky to have all the things I need and want. If your holday spirit compels you to spend money on me, please share that spirit by making a donation to [Storm Raven's favorite charity] in my name. Happy Holidays."