I hate Christmas

[Regdar]

There are thousands of people who will receive nothing more this Christmas than barely enough food to get by, if that. There are thousands of kids who have no one to spend Christmas with and will not get gifts at all. I'm sorry you got an expensive pen from parents who obviously love you. You certainly are a victim of the season.

Rep ++

 

[Kanegrundar]

I have a counterpoint: Would you rather that someone accept a gift without complaint even if it didn't work out, or that they would actually be able to enjoy the gift you sent? I prefer the latter, myself, because that's the part that brings me the greatest joy. And if they said, "I'd prefer gift certificates", that's OK with me, too.

I prefer to get things that others would like, sure. However, if I gave a bum gift, I sure as heck don't want to hear whining about how it's not something they wanted. That attitude would keep them from getting something from me next year. There's a right and a wrong way to accept a gift you didn't want. "Thank you for the sweater grandma, but I've already got enough shirts. I appreciate the thought though." That's a helluva lot better than being snippy about the gift.

It's why my wife and I always have a portion of Christmas that's gifted by lists to one another, with the understanding that not everything's going to be bought. At the least, some of the gifts truly light the person's face up on Christmas day. You might ask why we don't know one another well enough to just buy on impulse; we do, but we also keep tight-lipped about things we REALLY want during the rest of the year when money is tighter, or we save up and buy these things as we can, leaving very little unbought at year's end. On my side, my wife, bless her, has no clue what's what among gaming materials, and every year she's tried to buy gaming stuff for me I've had to exchange it, so she insists on lists herself.

My Fiancee and I do the same thing. We each try to get 1 or 2 things off the list and any other gifts to each other are things we think the other will like. That's pretty easy for a couple that are around each other all the time to do. We can pick up on subtle cues from each other that others can't. Yet at the same time, we I get some cologne that I don't really like I don't take her to task about it. I just say it's not my style and then we'll go back to the mall together to pick out something I like that she finds pleasing as well. (Yeah, I still try to impress her even though I've "got" her. )

And I'm not the type of man who is confident of ladies' fashions to buy the right style outright. THAT's what gift certificates are for.

Oh yeah. Gift cards for clothes are always the safe bet. Better than me trying to pick the stuff out. I'll still get her something I've put thought into.

 

[fett527]

Well, two sides of this argument have been covered fairly in-depth. I will admit SR, that I am not in agreement with your side. I hate surprises (and due to working for a Mail Order company that specializes in Christmas, I not really high on the holiday spirit) and would much rather get what I want when I want it, but my responsibility as an adult, a husband and a father is to show the spirit of Christmas in spite of what I get. We don't always get what we want, but handling it with grace is an endearing trait...

If you're still reading this thread, Storm Raven, read this paragraph over and over and over again until it sinks in.

Well put FickleGM, well put.

 

[Storm Raven]

They snivel it wasn't on thier list.
They don't notice that I went out and got it, spent money I could have bought a 6-pack of beer with, took the time and effort to actually think of them, and cared enough to buy a gift.

No, you didn't think about them. If you had, you would have gotten them something on their list. Instead, you got them soemthing you wanted them to have, and not something they actually wanted. The selfish individual in this scenario is you.

You list fairly expensive gifts (3-5 hours of my hard work, depending on what job I'm doing) would make me just cross you off my list.

So, a $14 CD is a "fairly expensive gift". In that case, I'd hope you would cross me off your list. You are clearly too poor to afford to give gifts to begin with.

Try being grateful that they actually bought you something. Say "Thank You", place it on your desk where it looks nice, and move on with life.

My desk is covered with papers and office supplies. My desk has always been that way. Placing that pen on my desk is tantamount to losing it. And the fact that I know I will lose the pen is why I do not want it.

Christmas isn't about GETTING WHAT YOU WANT, it's about giving out of the goodness of your heart.

If you gave out of the goodness of your heart, you would give people things that they actually want. Not things you decided they should want.

 

[Storm Raven]

I maintain a list on Amazon.com for stuff that I would like and direct people to it even if they don't intend to shop on Amazon to get it.

I did that. I didn't get anything on the list.

 

[Storm Raven]

Because it's not all about you, even when you're receiving gifts. You're no less expected to be gracious at christmas than you are in any other family situation.

And I'm expected to pretend I like gifts given on other occassions too. Sorry, no thanks. All that does is reinforce the erroneous belief that I am happy with the lousy gifts.

Your family aren't giving you 'bad' gifts to insult or infuriate you, they're trying to make you happy in their own way, which may not follow your script. Such is life.

No, they are giving me bad gifts because they don't bother to take the time to get what I told them I would like. That is the insulting part. I tell them what I would like, and they ignore me, deciding I would be better off with something else. I'm sorry, but I know what I like more than anyone else does.

 

[PowerWordDumb]

If you gave out of the goodness of your heart, you would give people things that they actually want. Not things you decided they should want.

If parents thought like you for the whole time christmas has been celebrated, hordes of kids would be running around with no socks, underwear, coats, or mittens, freezing to death quite happily with their desired little toys of the moment.

 

[Storm Raven]

And sometimes people try to get gifts not from alist.

And I have told them time and again - get me something on the list. And they ignored me.

Perhaps they can't find the items, perhaps they forgot the list or lost it.

I have directed people to where the items could be found. And they ignored me.

What is rude is the way you are doing it and the sounds of the words.

I have tried to be polite and subtle about this in the past. Didn't work.

Getting someone a gift that they might not like that is not off their list is not rude in any sense of the word.

Yes, it is. It is ignoring their wishes and substituting your own. If you aren't going to get me a gift that I actually want, I would prefer no gift. If you aren't going to think about what I want long enough to get me something that I told you I wanted, don't bother.

 

[Crothian]

No, they are giving me bad gifts because they don't bother to take the time to get what I told them I would like. That is the insulting part. I tell them what I would like, and they ignore me, deciding I would be better off with something else. I'm sorry, but I know what I like more than anyone else does.

Perhaps this year you should mail out letters to everyone saying that you are not participating in Christmas anymore and they should just not buy you anything this year. That way you know you are not going to be insulted by your unloving lazy family.

 

[PirateMary]

Storm Raven, you are just a ray of sunshine if ever there was one. I can see your point on not getting what you want for gifts, but to complain about that shows nothing but unappreciative selfishness. Quite frankly, you don't deserve any gifts, on your list or not.