I hate Christmas

[Henry]

For my part, I prefer a list of two or three things, just so I can choose one and make sure they're happy. It's ALWAYS best when I have picked up through clues earlier in the month or year what they want, because that there is the ultimate demonstration that you care enough to have been listening, and you paid enough time and attention to them to be in tune with them. In the absence of this, a gift certificate or list is the best thing, because there's being appreciative of a gift, but I'd rather what I got them be USED. If someone doesn't get enjoyment or use out of my gift, then I've not accomplished what I set out to do, because the enjoyment to me is the part where they tell me that they actually got to do something with that gift.

 

[Fenris]

Why don't you save time. Everyone sit in a circle, take out a $20 and pass it to the person on your left. Then say Merry Christmas. You're done and you don't have to return it and can buy just what you want and no one has to think put any thought or care or love or consideration into the process.

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

I frequently ask for gift certificates to some of my favorite places like Bath and Body Works and Yankee Candle because I don't expect people to be able to know what scent strikes my fancy... however, when I do that, I make sure to write what I got with the gift certificate specifically in my Thank You note.

 

[diaglo]

Maybe in real life people like SR just as much as the people replying in this thread.

that has been my experience with SR on every board i've encountered him.

must be the lawyer in him.

 

[Henry]

If that sounded harsh, that's because it was meant to. The attitude you're exhibiting is that of a small child, not a well-adjusted adult.

And I'll start with my "let's lay off the name-calling" requests, now.

I have a counterpoint: Would you rather that someone accept a gift without complaint even if it didn't work out, or that they would actually be able to enjoy the gift you sent? I prefer the latter, myself, because that's the part that brings me the greatest joy. And if they said, "I'd prefer gift certificates", that's OK with me, too.

It's why my wife and I always have a portion of Christmas that's gifted by lists to one another, with the understanding that not everything's going to be bought. At the least, some of the gifts truly light the person's face up on Christmas day. You might ask why we don't know one another well enough to just buy on impulse; we do, but we also keep tight-lipped about things we REALLY want during the rest of the year when money is tighter, or we save up and buy these things as we can, leaving very little unbought at year's end. On my side, my wife, bless her, has no clue what's what among gaming materials, and every year she's tried to buy gaming stuff for me I've had to exchange it, so she insists on lists herself.

And I'm not the type of man who is confident of ladies' fashions to buy the right style outright. THAT's what gift certificates are for.

 

[WhimsyTheFae]

Well, two sides of this argument have been covered fairly in-depth. I will admit SR, that I am not in agreement with your side. I hate surprises (and due to working for a Mail Order company that specializes in Christmas, I not really high on the holiday spirit) and would much rather get what I want when I want it, but my responsibility as an adult, a husband and a father is to show the spirit of Christmas in spite of what I get. We don't always get what we want, but handling it with grace is an endearing trait.

The third side of the argument has been only lightly touched upon. What about the gift giver who wants to surprise the giftee? The original post paints this person as a malicious demon who purposely strays from the path of light in order to annoy the giftee (I am obviously dramatizing). I remember a Christmas where my mom walked in the room as my dad was placing a special gift. This ruined the surprise and angered my dad to the point where the gift was thrown away, choice words were used and the children decided that we would be happier playing in our room (he had a few anger issues, which were probably factors in his early death). This is an extreme example, but in this case the fact that the surprise was blown had the same effect on the gift giver as the bad gifts have on the original poster.

So, since this subject can be annoying on both sides of the argument (the giftee who wants certain items or the gifter who wants to surprise the giftee), one is left to wonder what to do. Well, my take on it is that both sides should maintain some Christmas spirit over the whole thing, but since the gifter is the one doing the giving, then the giftee should accept what he is given. What you do with the gift after that is your business.

 

[diaglo]

nobody likes fruitcake

i used to love fruitcake. it was something my grandmother made. i miss her.

i have a hard time around Christmas too. not for the giving and receiving of gifts, but from the memories. and from living so far away from my family.

i lost my great grandmother xmas 1979. my grandmother xmas 1983. my grandfather xmas 2001.

thinking about the things i used to love getting at xmas like my grandmother's fruitcake. or going to visit my grandfather. or watching my nieces and nephews open gifts. really makes it tough during the holidays.


diaglo " who has 4 great grandnephews" Ooi

 

[WhimsyTheFae]

...I have a counterpoint: Would you rather that someone accept a gift without complaint even if it didn't work out, or that they would actually be able to enjoy the gift you sent?...

Well, of course I would prefer the latter, but some people want the challenge of finding their own gift that they think the giftee would like. I am personally not that type of person (only rarely do I go for the unexpected surprise, and even then only with my wife), but I can understand that person's motivation. To them, sure they may be very hit and miss, but it's their money and you are not out anything.

I guess in the end, acting with a certain amount of grace is very important to me (and I lack grace far more often than I would like). I am not trying to throw stones from a glass house, but am trying to give the same advice that I give to myself and my children (not that any of you are my children - I'm not that old).

 

[WhimsyTheFae]

...nobody likes fruitcake...

I love fruitcake. My oldest daughter doesn't as I found out when we had this exchange:

Me: "mmmm, fruit and cake"

Cristina: "duh dad, that's why it tastes like crap"

 

[PowerWordDumb]

We had Xmas with my parents this past weekend, as work schedules and 500km distance between us means we won't be seeing each other until after the holidays.

I got a cordless screwdriver/drill and a studfinder from my father. Now, I live in an apartment with concrete walls, so even if I were inclined to engage in a little home construction, I couldn't do so for multiple reasons.

Nevertheless, despite the immediate uselessness of the gift (worse, since i"ll have to store it in already limited space), I thanked him and took pleasure in the thought. You see, he was thinking that my wife and I were wanting to buy a house, and that it'd be useful for us then. What on the face of it might appear as a completely useless and throw-away gift actually had a fair bit of personal thought involved, since it was a more concrete step toward our ultimate home-ownership goal than anything we've accomplished in the last year.

While a cool DVD or some star wars gear might have made me immediately happy, I know I'll have the tools for years and think of my father whenever I use them, long after he's no longer with us.

The quality of a gift is in the thought and the graciousness of its reception.