I might need some serious sociological advice with a D&D game

[Bullgrit]

OK, I just got this request from a family friend, through my wife:

"Would you be willing to go to XXX's and help him play D&D?"

XXX is a 14 year old boy with Asperger's. He used to be a good friend of my 14 year old son through most of elementary school, until he got held back a grade (because of Asperger's) before middle school. After the grade separation, they grew apart, but our families are still friends.

This is a good kid, but his (high functioning) autistic situation makes him seem a little "odd" to those who don't understand Asperger's, and apparently gets him picked on. Although I understand, generally, what his condition is, I've never had a lot of time with anyone with it, even this kid specifically.

So my question is: If I run a D&D game for this kid (and presumably, with others), what do I need to know/do to help this kid? What should I keep in mind as potential problems or issues? This is more than introducing a kid to D&D (which I've done), it's helping a kid with difficulty specifically with personal interactions get a game that requires a lot of personal interaction. I think maybe D&D could help this kid improve his social skills for the real world. Yes? No? Advice? Pointers/links?

Thanks,
Bullgrit

 

[bgbarcus]

I would ask his parents to play a test session with you first. That lets them learn enough about the game to answer your questions based on what they know of their son.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I agree with having at least one parent or someone else close to him play in the group. Familiar people can only help.

I am NOT a specialist by any stretch of the imagination, but my experience with people who are high-functioning Aspergers- all adults- tells me that are perfectly capable of handling something like D&D. Their kind of focus may be more demanding of you as a DM, though.

 

[Homicidal_Squirrel]

OK, I just got this request from a family friend, through my wife:

"Would you be willing to go to XXX's and help him play D&D?"

XXX is a 14 year old boy with Asperger's. He used to be a good friend of my 14 year old son through most of elementary school, until he got held back a grade (because of Asperger's) before middle school. After the grade separation, they grew apart, but our families are still friends.

This is a good kid, but his (high functioning) autistic situation makes him seem a little "odd" to those who don't understand Asperger's, and apparently gets him picked on. Although I understand, generally, what his condition is, I've never had a lot of time with anyone with it, even this kid specifically.

So my question is: If I run a D&D game for this kid (and presumably, with others), what do I need to know/do to help this kid? What should I keep in mind as potential problems or issues? This is more than introducing a kid to D&D (which I've done), it's helping a kid with difficulty specifically with personal interactions get a game that requires a lot of personal interaction. I think maybe D&D could help this kid improve his social skills for the real world. Yes? No? Advice? Pointers/links?

Thanks,
Bullgrit

This is an interesting situation. One of the things that you should consider is that kids diagnosed with Asperger's tend to have difficulties with social situations. This may pose a bit of a obstacle for you during role-playing parts of your game. Still, I think those role-playing parts can have the most significant effect. You can try and set up parts of your game to run like a social stories. You could use those role-playing parts to help him with his own social interactions with others.

On a side note, the DSM no longer has Asperger's as it's own diagnosis somewhat apart from Autism. It's now diagnosed as part of the spectrum, and they are considered high functioning.

 

[Umbran]

Does the kid have a health professional that helps the family manage his development or education? If so, would the family like to make a little conference of it - doctor, family, and you?

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Good idea!

 

[Umbran]

Yeah, it is part of the basic principle - when dealing with something that actually matters to real-world people, ask someone who actually knows, not random folks on the internet.

If you can't talk to one of the kid's health professionals, finding any health professional that knows something about Asperger's, and how it manifests in kids, might be useful. Your local school system might be able to point you at such a person.

I mean, we as moderators have had to deal with some Asperger's cases, but those were all adults, and I am not confident that the challenges would be the same.

 

[Bullgrit]

Does the kid have a health professional that helps the family manage his development or education?

Yeah, it is part of the basic principle - when dealing with something that actually matters to real-world people, ask someone who actually knows, not random folks on the internet.

Well, I can't ask about his health professional if the idea that one might exist never crossed my mind. Asking random folks on the Internet gave me an idea of something to ask his parents about. This kind of advice is exactly why I came here and asked.

Bullgrit

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

We're helping! We're helping!

 

[Mishihari Lord]

I have just a few bits of advice, and they're based on my 16 year old nephew who has Asperger's and whom I've known well for many years. I'll call him Bob here, but that's not actually his name. Take this with a grain of salt, as I'm assuming he's a typical example of Asperger's, which may or may not not be the case.

That first bit of advice is to play the initial session with just the two of you, if he considers you a friend, or just the two of you with one parent otherwise. One of Bob's big challenges is that he gets information overload very quickly. For example if there's two conversations going on in earshot he can't block one out and process the other, and he can't understand both at the same time, so his mental processing just kind of shuts down. It's very frustrating and stressful. When he was younger he would start chanting a mantra to block everything else out. Now he just leaves the room. Limiting the number of people in the room for the first game would help avoid this scenario. Once he has how to play the game down then add other people.

The second bit is to be patient if he obsesses on the rules a bit. Bob likes rules, as they simplify how he thinks of his environment which helps avoid information overload. He really, really likes rules and likes it when everyone follows them. Don't be surprised if your friend wants rules and not rulings.

If you can share the results of your experience without breaching any sort of confidentiality, I'd be very interested in hearing how things went.