I want some opinions... (gaming topic)

[Holy Bovine]

Let me rephrase, because apparently I was not clear earlier. I specifically, directly, with no chance of miscommunication, asked if he would continue this specific game using this specific RPG rules because that is precisely why this game was started up, and why the player joined the game. A game in which he has been a player since the VERY FIRST session.

So he was very clear on what the game was about, why it was being played, why everyone signed on, and when they signed on. He was very clear on understanding what I was asking, even restating how he had no problem with doing so because of how much he himself loved this RPG.

So bottom line is I turned the group over to him due to a lie he told me. A group whom I had promised to run this RPG for. A promise he had agreed to carry on in my behalf.

No if's, no and's, no but's, no misunderstandings.

If he had told me anything other than, "Sure, I'll continue running it for you." I would have asked the other players if they were willing to step up. If no one was I would have officially ended the game and disbanded the group. Then this other DM could have seen about recruiting them for one of the other games he is so adamant about running he decided to lie to me about it.

But no, he lied to me and has now turned around and said, "I know why you are all in this group, playing this specific RPG, but I really have been wanting to run these other games, so can I somehow talk you into playing one of these other RPG's, even though I promised Treebore I would continue running the game you all signed up for?"

Thats why I think its very uncool, but apparently not keeping one's word isn't very important to some people like it is to me.

I promised these guys I would run this RPG for them. I asked this guy to continue to keep my promise to him and the rest of the group by continuing the game in my stead. Now he is not keeping his promise to me, and not keeping my promise to the others.

If I had known he would turn around and done this, I would have officially ended the game and let him recruit them into the other games he is interested in.

Someone asked why I had to stop DMing this game. Medical reasons. I had to change up my schedule to allow for me to deal with the medical problem, and as a result I had to quit DMing this game.

I have just one question here that you seem to be avoiding answering - are you still playing in this group? If you are then you certainly have a legitimate complaint that the group is not playing the game you signed up for. If you are not still playing (or DMing obviously) you, honestly, have no say whatsoever in what game the group chooses to play. If the new DM tries to force some other game on the group that they don't want to play he'll find out quite quickly that it is hard to DM with no players. If he asks permission to run some other game and the group agrees - it is, frankly, no business of yours.

 

[Mark]

If I had known he would turn around and done this, I would have officially ended the game and let him recruit them into the other games he is interested in.

Maybe ask if they want you to run a single session that wraps things up.

Someone asked why I had to stop DMing this game. Medical reasons. I had to change up my schedule to allow for me to deal with the medical problem, and as a result I had to quit DMing this game.

"Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, then you haven't got anything." - Count Rugen

 

[Treebore]

Some of you don't seem to get it, this isn't about me. These guys signed up to play this specific RPG, not any other. They are not interested in playing any other RPG. One guy joined less than 3 weeks ago, another only a couple of months ago. Three of the 4 have PMed me telling me how they aren't interested in playing anything else.

Part of why I asked this guy to take over was because he has been around since we began trying out this RPG, we are all playing this to learn about this RPG and to see if we like it. Like I have stated earlier, at least once, the ONLY player interested in playing a different RPG is the one who decided months ago he doesn't like this RPG, but likes the group and the game.

The guy I turned this over to told me he had no problem continuing this game because he "loves" it, one of his favorites.

So let me sum up, there was no misunderstanding, the majority of players want to continue with this game and have no interest in continuing on with some other RPG.

Plus I have known this guys for years, so if they tell him "no", and we want to continue on with this RPG, if he takes offense, and he likely will, he will run the game badly for a week or three, and then claim he can't run it anymore due to personal problems at home. Something he has done 4 or 5 times before.

As for me playing? I told the group, which includes the DM, I was willing to continue on as a player if they were willing to have me regularly miss the first 2 hours.

So this guy knew what he was agreeing to. He knew that everyone else had signed on to play only this RPG, and no other. One signed on only a couple of weeks ago and hasn't even really seen how the whole RPG plays yet.

3 of the 4 have told me privately that they will not play any other RPG, and if they have to they will wait until I can run it again, likely when winter sets back in.

So rather than lie to me, cause all this confusion, and have 3 of the 4 players go "What the H...?" He could have just told the truth. But no, he obviously wanted to ignore the very clear desires of 3 of the other players to continue on with this RPG, and try and get them to try other RPG's this guy has been jonesing to run for weeks, and in one case months, rather than go with the clearly stated desires of the majority of other players.

In retrospect I should have just said the game had to be cancelled, and if they want to continue on with the RPG they can maybe work out a new DM and go on themselves. But now instead I have to deal with this mess.

So after chatting with a couple of the players last night it looks like instead of dealing with this guys behavior they are just going to wait until I can pick the reins back up and run it again, hopefully when winter sets in.

 

[Mark]

Some of you don't seem to get it, this isn't about me.

If you aren't currently running the game, then this is the part you seem to not get. They have made a group decision that you will have to accept.

 

[Ourph]

In retrospect I should have just said the game had to be cancelled, and if they want to continue on with the RPG they can maybe work out a new DM and go on themselves. But now instead I have to deal with this mess.

Well, lesson learned for the future at least. It's always difficult to hand the reins of an existing campaign over to another person (especially if that person has a penchant for being manipulative and undependable, as you say this guy does).

So after chatting with a couple of the players last night it looks like instead of dealing with this guys behavior they are just going to wait until I can pick the reins back up and run it again, hopefully when winter sets in.

Awesome! It's amazing how these things tend to work themselves out if people just relax and avoid getting confrontational. I hope you're back to running your campaign the way you want it run in the very near future.

 

[the Jester]

Some of you don't seem to get it, this isn't about me. These guys signed up to play this specific RPG, not any other. They are not interested in playing any other RPG. One guy joined less than 3 weeks ago, another only a couple of months ago. Three of the 4 have PMed me telling me how they aren't interested in playing anything else... So let me sum up, there was no misunderstanding, the majority of players want to continue with this game and have no interest in continuing on with some other RPG.

Assuming this is subsequent to your passing the torch, why didn't they tell this guy that?

Plus I have known this guys for years, so if they tell him "no", and we want to continue on with this RPG, if he takes offense, and he likely will, he will run the game badly for a week or three, and then claim he can't run it anymore due to personal problems at home. Something he has done 4 or 5 times before.

So why did you approach him at all?

3 of the 4 have told me privately that they will not play any other RPG, and if they have to they will wait until I can run it again, likely when winter sets back in.

So they told the new DM they'd play in his game while planning to not show up? This group sounds like it is plagued by an inability to talk about stuff in a mature way.

"Hey, take over my game, okay?"

"Sure... Hey guys, let's play a different game, okay?"

"Sure... Hey guys, let's not show up and just wait for winter!"

He could have just told the truth. But no, he obviously wanted to ignore the very clear desires of 3 of the other players to continue on with this RPG, and try and get them to try other RPG's this guy has been jonesing to run for weeks, and in one case months, rather than go with the clearly stated desires of the majority of other players.

Well, first of all, he should have been up front with you. BUT, with that said, a GM runs the game he wants to run, not the game that someone else wants him to. Screw the clearly stated desires of the majority of other players- if they all want to play something different, someone else needs to step up as DM. Otherwise all this is just wankery.

In retrospect I should have just said the game had to be cancelled, and if they want to continue on with the RPG they can maybe work out a new DM and go on themselves. But now instead I have to deal with this mess.

In retrospect you should have just said, "Hey, I won't be able to run this again until whenever" and let the group decide what they wanted to do for themselves once you were no longer involved.

"Dealing with the mess" is a silly concept here. Either run your game later or accept that it's done. But certainly, acting all betrayed because someone didn't want to take over your game is rather silly. What "mess" do you have to deal with? Right now it doesn't really sound like anyone is being especially reasonable, but it's not like the new dm burned down your house or shot your dog or whatever.

 

[Morrus]

I would say that the game being played is the business of the GM and the players. It's not the business of someone who's not even part of that gaming group. Several people playing a game that someone not even present wants them to play? That's just... odd.

You leave, you leave. You don't get to dicate what everyone does after you've left.

It's a D&D game, not your Last Will and Testament. People do it to have a fun evening once a week.

And nobody is being forced to do something they don't want to do. I assume this guy didn't force the players at gunpoint. If they didn't want to play his game, they'd have said so - it's not your job to tell them what to do.

Plus I have known this guys for years, so if they tell him "no", and we want to continue on with this RPG, if he takes offense, and he likely will, he will run the game badly for a week or three, and then claim he can't run it anymore due to personal problems at home. Something he has done 4 or 5 times before.

If you're all catering to one person's personality disorder for fear of his "taking offense", I'd suggest the issue is far more involved than this board can deal with. Sounds like a serious social - possible psychological - issue. I might suggest some non-D&D-based discussions with people whow know him on how to proceed, because this doesn't sound like a D&D issue.

As a disclaimer - I'm assuming those involved are adults. If we're talking a bunch of teenagers then don't worry about it - sounds normal. You probably won't know them in a few years' time anyway!

 

[Treebore]

If you aren't currently running the game, then this is the part you seem to not get. They have made a group decision that you will have to accept.

You clearly don't get it, you may want to reread my posts. The only group decision was to play this RPG, he decided to go against that and try and get them to play something else. Now it has backfired on him, they are now willing to quite playing and wait for word as to when I can run it again.

So I definitely understood my players, he did not.

 

[jbear]

I get the feeling your feeling misunderstood, and hence your defensiveness. So I'm going to try and see things from your point of view.

Regardless of any point of view I take, the most important thing is to distance yourself emotionally from the situation. Anger is not an emotion that is conducive to good health. If you are unwell you need to find a place where you can be emotionally stable. Emotions influence your health. That's not mumbo jumbo, it's an observable fact. So take a step back. You don't need the anonymous god that is internet to condone your emotions. What you need is to change those emotions and focus on being positive and getting well.

From your latest post you express that this decision by the new DM has affected the other players negatively, apart from 1 or 2? But he put the idea to them as a possibilty, rather than a personal undemocratic decision? But the new game has not begun yet in any case?

If all the above is true, surely they will work it out themselves. Things will run their natural course. If he only has 2 willing players, why wouldn't he revise his decision? If it is a suggestion, why wouldn't the others express thier feelings about the idea when the suggestion is made?

I'm not going to get into who is right or wrong. These things usually very different interpretations depending on who is telling the story. That doesn't mean anyone is lying. Both versions will have elements of truths and both will overlook other elements of the same truths. Let your players deal with the situation. If they come to you for advice or to complain, gently direct them to politely discuss it with the new DM.

You don't need the uneccessary strife, mate.

 

[Treebore]

Assuming this is subsequent to your passing the torch, why didn't they tell this guy that?



So why did you approach him at all?



So they told the new DM they'd play in his game while planning to not show up? This group sounds like it is plagued by an inability to talk about stuff in a mature way.

"Hey, take over my game, okay?"

"Sure... Hey guys, let's play a different game, okay?"

"Sure... Hey guys, let's not show up and just wait for winter!"



Well, first of all, he should have been up front with you. BUT, with that said, a GM runs the game he wants to run, not the game that someone else wants him to. Screw the clearly stated desires of the majority of other players- if they all want to play something different, someone else needs to step up as DM. Otherwise all this is just wankery.



In retrospect you should have just said, "Hey, I won't be able to run this again until whenever" and let the group decide what they wanted to do for themselves once you were no longer involved.

"Dealing with the mess" is a silly concept here. Either run your game later or accept that it's done. But certainly, acting all betrayed because someone didn't want to take over your game is rather silly. What "mess" do you have to deal with? Right now it doesn't really sound like anyone is being especially reasonable, but it's not like the new dm burned down your house or shot your dog or whatever.

Wow! how many times do I have to say it for people to comprehend it? The GROUP does NOT want to play anything other than the game I started for them! The one they signed on for. They do not want to play any other game, period.

To the point where this GM has lost them, they will now wait until I can resume GMing it again. So I definitely understood my group, even though apparently a number of people on this board don't.

Anyways, situation is resolved, game is dissolved until I restart it when I am able to run it myself. Because I take the time to know and understand why my players are playing.