I want some opinions... (gaming topic)

[Mark]

You clearly don't get it, you may want to reread my posts. The only group decision was to play this RPG, he decided to go against that and try and get them to play something else. Now it has backfired on him, they are now willing to quite playing and wait for word as to when I can run it again.

So I definitely understood my players, he did not.

Your posts have been very confusing. If the group isn't playing with the other DM and are opting to wait to play when you can restart, I don't see what the problem is. The only thing I can now gather is that you are mad the other DM didn't run your game for you but if he isn't running a game at all and the players are waiting for your return I still don't see the problem. Surely, you aren't still wanting the other DM to run the game after all of the problems? Frankly, I am a little curious why you worked so hard to ensure that the other DM would not find the group receptive to his running of his own campaign in your absence. I would have thought the group-minded thing would have been to announce a medical hiatus and encourage the group to play some sort of gap-filling campaign run by one of the other players. The group I most recently helped build has several people capable and willing to run campaigns and we even encourage others in the group to run one-shot sessions just so everyone has some experience at the helm. As such, we've been able to play all sorts of systems and games over the years and everyone has some idea of the work involved in running games for others.

 

[Vegepygmy]

If he had told me anything other than, "Sure, I'll continue running it for you." I would have asked the other players if they were willing to step up. If no one was I would have officially ended the game and disbanded the group. Then this other DM could have seen about recruiting them for one of the other games he is so adamant about running he decided to lie to me about it.

But no, he lied to me and has now turned around and said, "I know why you are all in this group, playing this specific RPG, but I really have been wanting to run these other games, so can I somehow talk you into playing one of these other RPG's, even though I promised Treebore I would continue running the game you all signed up for?"

Thats why I think its very uncool, but apparently not keeping one's word isn't very important to some people like it is to me.

You say this isn't about you, but the only person he broke his word to was you, and IMO you had no right to demand such a promise from him in the first place (since you were no longer part of the group, and have no authority over what they choose to play), so it doesn't offend me that he didn't keep his word to you, even though keeping one's word is (as a general rule) very important to me.

As for your players, if they don't want to do what he wants them to do, they're big boys, they can speak up for themselves. Which they did. So I just don't see what all the fuss is about.

 

[Cor_Malek]

Some of you don't seem to get it

It's a nasty risk of asking questions - one might not like the answer.

What would you think of them then immediately turning around and giving the group a choice of playing other games instead of the one everyone signed on for? Before even running even one more session of the game they agreed to take over?

(Emphasis mine)

These guys signed up to play this specific RPG, not any other. They are not interested in playing any other RPG. One guy joined less than 3 weeks ago, another only a couple of months ago. Three of the 4 have PMed me telling me how they aren't interested in playing anything else.

So let me sum up, there was no misunderstanding, the majority of players want to continue with this game and have no interest in continuing on with some other RPG.

He gave them a choice. He didn't strongarm them, harass or just told to get another sourcebook and re-roll. As we already know, questions don't always turn up the answers we want to hear. If the group doesn't want this, they might just tell him "nope", and there - problem solved! Oh, and they should say that to the actual DM.

Plus I have known this guys for years, so if they tell him "no", and we want to continue on with this RPG, if he takes offense, and he likely will, he will run the game badly for a week or three, and then claim he can't run it anymore due to personal problems at home. Something he has done 4 or 5 times before.

And then that might be a problem. Or rather, another problem solved, as you'll be able to simply find a GM to lead this new system. But right now, he simply gave the group a choice, which is never a bad thing.

So after chatting with a couple of the players last night it looks like instead of dealing with this guys behavior they are just going to wait until I can pick the reins back up and run it again, hopefully when winter sets in.

Seriously, what the hell, man? It seems to me that you guys sort of freaked out. Is it really impossible to give the man an honest answer to his proposition? Especially since it is entirely possible he does like that system? Don't give him hints that you're not willing to stand up to him, ever, or things are gonna get though when dividing the treasure.
"So, hey guys! Is it OK with you if I take all the shiny swords? You could keep the <checks back into chest> um, arrows, and a... well look here! A sunrod!"

 

[S'mon]

The Dm gets to run whatever he wants to run. The players get to choose if they want to be in that game or not.

Agreed. If you're not the GM, you don't get to say what gets run.

 

[Jhaelen]

Yup - you won. Now noone gets to play. Victory!

Indeed. If that's what happened, why even post? NewDM thought he might ask if anyone was interested in playing X rather than Y. Noone was interested. End of story.

Since we've been only hearing one side of the story I'm very much inclined to assume that NewDM asked with the best of intents, i.e. because he thought, the players might enjoy playing X more than Y.

The way the information was provided made it sound like NewDM would have simply DMed Y, had the players indicated they weren't interested in X. But now OP intervened and made sure nothing was going to be played. Umm, yeah. But I probably didn't get it...

 

[Rel]

Treebore, I know you to be a pretty good guy. But when you start a thread titled "I want some opinions..." and then go on to argue like crazy with anybody who holds an opinion contrary to yours...

I'm just saying that maybe it's worth considering a different perspective.

 

[ruemere]

A timid request to all participants:

Since Treebore is very upset, and for more than a single reason, please wear soft gloves when posting here.
Mr T. has a history of levelheaded, insightful and thoughtful posts. This is a change, and obviously an important one. Let's respect it.

Regards,
Ruemere

PS. This is a request for mods: I doubt we are in position to advise Treebore here, in public - this is highly personal and subjective issue. Please consider locking the topic.

 

[Umbran]

PS. This is a request for mods: I doubt we are in position to advise Treebore here, in public - this is highly personal and subjective issue. Please consider locking the topic.

We do sometimes close threads at the request of the OP. If Treebore wants that done, he can PM one of the mods, or post the request here.

 

[BryonD]

Well, then when he asks, they should all respond, "We'd prefer to continue playing this game, thank you," and that should pretty much end the issue right there. No need for drama.

Ta Da. It truly is that simple.
There is nothing wrong with *asking* everyone else if they would rather play tiddly winks.

There would ALSO be nothing wrong with him declaring that he can't run the game any more, just as the prior DM did. Maybe his reasons are not the same, but so be it.

Everyone agreeing to enjoy a game: important.
Adhering to a holy oath to play one game, preferences be damned: not important

 

[jdrakeh]

I doubt we are in position to advise Treebore here, in public - this is highly personal and subjective issue.

It's a game. It's not as if he suffered a death in the family — and if anybody does equate having a campaign die with the death of a relative, I would suggest that their investment in the hobby has reached unhealthy proportions. More to the point, however, if he didn't want to hear opinions on the subject, he shouldn't have asked for them. I mean, you did catch the thread title, right?