D&D General I want to fire a player.

[Umbran]

Anyone else find the term "firing a player" weird?

I do not. I've been exposed to businesses having to fire clients before, so I am used to that kind of use of the term.

 

[thullgrim]

I have two players that struggle with the VTT. It’s made me consider moving to a ‘lighter’ VTT and trying for a more ‘at the table’ kind of experience.

Paper character sheets, trust in honest dice rolls and move on. I haven’t gone down that road but I definitely need to test it.

 

[Grendel_Khan]

If you do want to talk to the player, one approach you could take is: "I notice you're struggling with this. Is there anything we can do to make it easier for you?" It's a little less confrontational and makes it clear that your friend is still a friend, and you're willing to work with them to try to find a solution. If he doesn't get it, of course, you can always get more up-front about how his behavior is actually causing problems for the whole group and it needs to change. But I always err on the side of letting people save face before turning it into a confrontation.

This seems like great advice, and more helpfully specific than the general "talk like adults" advice. Not that there's anything wrong with that kind of advice, but if it were as simple as just having a frank conversation, situations like this would resolve themselves. I know I've never been able to handle these kinds of gaming breakups with the necessary grown-up forthrightness.

Or maybe any other interaction? Hmm.

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

That is the truth of it. Every time I've booted someone, it's not been fun. But I've always seen the table revitalized after their departure. And no matter how down I might feel about the confrontation, that proves it was the right decision.

It's not fun, but it has the effect of increasing the fun for everyone once it's done, so it's for the good.

Trying to give them a chance first and talking about it is great advice. Save for certain infractions that you don't get a second chance on, players should at least have the opportunity to be better. They might not even be aware of the effect of the behavior, or they might feel really badly about it, but not know how to fix things.

If you do want to talk to the player, one approach you could take is: "I notice you're struggling with this. Is there anything we can do to make it easier for you?" It's a little less confrontational and makes it clear that your friend is still a friend, and you're willing to work with them to try to find a solution. If he doesn't get it, of course, you can always get more up-front about how his behavior is actually causing problems for the whole group and it needs to change. But I always err on the side of letting people save face before turning it into a confrontation.

 

[beancounter]

I can see disinviting a player for repeatedly not showing up without letting you know ahead of time.

But doing so just because the guy lacks technical savvy seems a like a bit much.

 

[Lanefan]

I can see disinviting a player for repeatedly not showing up without letting you know ahead of time.

But doing so just because the guy lacks technical savvy seems a like a bit much.

Which raises another question for the OP: did this player display the same undesirable behaviors when playing in person?

If no, then maybe the issue is simply the fact that you're playing online rather than in person.

 

[Hex08]

I and my group have the same problem (friend, playing for 40 years-ish), over VTT, but the problem is different - he’s not creative, is a spotlight hog, gets bored when the action ebbs a little then starts a fight wherever in game, drinks whiskey during the game which leads to late game surliness, moans about lack of magic items and power (even when he has them), argues with the DM, has to build the most maximized characters, etc., etc.

I think we have, and fired, the same friend although he gave up whiskey after you fired him and came to my game.

I actually fired the same guy twice and invited him back after the first time. The second time was ugly, I completely lost my temper, told him he wasn't welcome back called it quits for the night. Luckily it didn't affect our friendship.

 

[Osgood]

That is the truth of it. Every time I've booted someone, it's not been fun. But I've always seen the table revitalized after their departure. And no matter how down I might feel about the confrontation, that proves it was the right decision.

That has also been my experience as well. It's never fun, but it's always the right call. One person really can spoil the fun for everyone else.

 

[TwoSix]

I can see disinviting a player for repeatedly not showing up without letting you know ahead of time.

But doing so just because the guy lacks technical savvy seems a like a bit much.

Yea, but it's also a question of being self-aware enough to know your lack of savvy is slowing the game down. Heck, I amtechnically savvy, and I still make sure to play relatively simple characters when I'm on a VTT, because heavy spellcasting tends to slow the game down.

 

[beancounter]

Yea, but it's also a question of being self-aware enough to know your lack of savvy is slowing the game down. Heck, I am technically savvy, and I still make sure to play relatively simple characters when I'm on a VTT, because heavy spellcasting tends to slow the game down.

Ok, I guess it depends on the VTT. To cast a spell, I simply click one "button" next to a listed spell on my D&D Beyond character sheet, and it automatically rolls the damage, and the DM deducts HP from the targeted monster on his end, and then moves to the next PC. The process takes maybe 15 seconds.