If LoTR had been written by someone else . . .

[Shadowdancer]

what would it look like?

The link

 

[Krug]

http://ringil.cis.ksu.edu/Tolkien/Movie/lotr.mov

this is hilarious!

 

[Eternalknight]

"Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring!
I am too small to carry this thing!"

"I can not, will not hold the One.
You have a slim chance, but I have none.
I will not take it on a boat,
I will not take it across a moat.
I cannot take it under Moria,
that's one thing I can't do for ya.
I would not bring it into Mordor,
I would not make it to the border."

-excerpt from Dr. Suess's FOTR.

LOL!!!!! That is a hilarious thread!

 

[dreadnought]

William Wordsworth (with apologies):

I wander'd loney as a cloud
That floats on high o'er Morgul vale,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of brutish Uruk Hai,
Beside Helm's Deep, beneath moon's light,
Disemboweling, howling in the night.
Continuously their boots did grind
And stomp upon the heads of men,
They stretch'd in never-ending line
A long way back to Amon Hen:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in ghoulish dance.
The spears beside them danced; but they
Out-did the fearful wraiths in glee:
An elf could not but be dismay'd,
In such a horrid company:
I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought
What dread the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
I flash upon that huge red eye
Which calls the bane of Isildur;
And then my hopes with terror die,
And tremble at the Uruk Hai.

 

[The Sigil]

Hey!

Hey! Don't forget...

http://www.xenocorp.net/H_bardCorner/MPFotR.htm

Elrond: Frodo! Frodo Baggins, hobbit and ring bearer!
[Flashing back to his disturbing dream, wherein Elrond said, "Welcome to Rivendell, MISTER ANDERSON..." Frodo hits the floor]
Elrond: Oh, don't grovel! One thing I can't stand, it's people groveling.
Frodo: Sorry.
[Frodo gets up and sits in a nearby chair]
Elrond: And don't apologize. Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I didn't know she was YOUR daughter."
[Frodo bows his head]
Elrond: What are you doing now?!
Frodo: I'm averting my eyes, Master Elrond.
Elrond: Well, don't. It's like reading the Silmarillion-- it's so depressing. Now, knock it off!
Frodo: Yes, sir.
Elrond: Right! Frodo, Baggins and hobbit of the first order, the ring you bear must be cast into the fires of Mount Doom and destroyed!
Frodo: Good idea, Elrond!
Elrond: 'Course it's a good idea! Listen!

--The Sigil