If you didn't like Star Trek: Nemesis...

[Dark Psion]

...Now you can make you own Star Trek: TNG movie.

Just press this link and say, "Engage"
http://www.geocities.com/phineasbg/tngplotter.html

---------------------------------------------

Star Trek:The Lord of the Warp Core

Written By: Dark Psion
The film opens with some really annoying credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see Dice in space. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly.

Here, we see the TNG crew. They are Playing D&D. This scene is lame.

During this scene, Picard whines about his Elf getting killed.

The crew is then interrupted! As a result, the TNG crew must go to the world of Dark Sun. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data dresses and acts like the Dungeon Master from the cartoon. This scene is embarrassing.

But suddenly, there is an action scene involving Spelljammer ships in a duel to the death! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finds out that that Xagyg has taken the 4th edition rules, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

Soon, a member of the TNG crew talks to Morrus, who is recognized by many EnWorld fans, though this person doesn't really help the plot.

Then, Xagyg, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Xagyg is not REALLY that bad, because he wants to play GURPS.

The crew then learns that Greyhawk is in grave danger! And they must come to the rescue!

A few minutes later, there is an embarrassing scene where Data sings 'I'm a little teapot.' The audience groans.

And later, Worf is even more embarrassing because he has to play the cleric. This ticks off many Klingon fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, drinks to much Mt Dew. Unfortunately it doesn't help the plot.

A little later, Data and his cat play as Wizard & Familiar. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Picard and his Away Team beams to the back yard at Pirate Cat's house. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, the audience gets a feeling of Deja Vu. Because Whales save the day. This seems verrrry familiar...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'TSR!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

The crew discovers that Xagyg has a Bar of Soap! This makes things very dangerous!

Then, one of the crewmembers says 'One Fewer Enemy!' Even though this makes no sense. (Unless you read Pirate Cat's Stroyhour)

In their attempts to stop Xagyg, they play D&D in the Holodeck. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Xagyg.

Soon, Riker shoots at an orc. But this accomplishes absolutely nothing.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called Pretty Colors. In a fit of rage, Xagyg attempts to activate his Bar of Soap! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Xagyg by being forced to watch all his gaming books be burned by Jack Chick. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily a crack EnWorld comando team saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with his Elf getting killed. Picard then gives a boring speech about his new Dark Elven Ranger who fights with two scimitars.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.


THE END


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

[Darkness]

Hey - that's pretty cool.


Star Trek:EN World

Written By: Darkness
The film opens with some really annoying credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see a Pantheon lemon curry party. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly.

Here, we see the TNG crew. They are in serious pain because of the constant technobabble. This scene is lame.

During this scene, Picard whines about how Rangers have been shafted.

The crew is then interrupted! As a result, the TNG crew must go to Cleveland. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data has a fortunate, fatal accident involving a blender, three clowns and a Flumph. This scene is embarrassing.

But suddenly, there is an action scene involving a heated debated about the Book of Vile Darkness! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finds out that that the Hivemind are the true masters of the universe, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

Soon, a member of the TNG crew talks to Ro Laren, who is recognized by many TNG fans, though this person doesn't really help the plot.

Then, Piratecat, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Piratecat is not REALLY that bad, because writes a kick-ass story hour.

The crew then learns that Toril is in grave danger! And they must come to the rescue!

A few minutes later, there is an embarrassing scene where Data sings 'The Ketchup Song.' The audience groans.

And later, Worf is even more embarrassing because he messed with the wrong three-legged feline swashbuckler. This ticks off many Klingon fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, gets in a flame war about the Spellcasting Prodigy feat. Unfortunately it doesn't help the plot.

A little later, the Hivemind debates about haircuts. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Picard and his Away Team beams to the desert. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, the audience gets a feeling of Deja Vu. Because Horacio saves the whales. This seems verrrry familiar...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Damn Munchkin!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

The crew discovers that Piratecat has a vaguely lobster-like vehicle! This makes things very dangerous!

Then, one of the crewmembers says 'I have a theory - it could be bunnies!' Even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Piratecat, Picard wears a wig. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Piratecat.

Soon, Riker shoots at hong. But this accomplishes absolutely nothing.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called Daemonforge. In a fit of rage, Piratecat attempts to activate his vaguely lobster-like vehicle! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Piratecat by Picard's screaming and pleading for mercy 'till the villain's head explodes. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Eric Noah saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with how Rangers have been shafted. Picard then gives a boring speech about the merits of the "First Edition feeling".

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.


THE END


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Congratulations!
You have now written a Next Generation movie
that's just as good as the ones shown at theaters!
Print this movie out and send it to Rick Berman!

 

[Napftor]

That thing is toooo funny. Check out my Oscar-nominated script!



Star Trek:Timeloop

Written By:Napftor
The film opens with some really annoying credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see everyone at Federation HQ eating donuts. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly.

Here, we see the TNG crew. They are looking around the Enterprise for spare parts to fix the replicator. This scene is lame.

During this scene, Picard whines about having to drink coffee instead of Earl Grey tea.

The crew is then interrupted! As a result, the TNG crew must a donut-harvesting planet to investigate why the Federation has lost contact with it. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data climbs into a photon torpedo just to "experience it like a human would". This scene is embarrassing.

But suddenly, there is an action scene involving the crew seeing their lives flash before their eyes! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finds out that that a rupture in the time-space continuum has isolated the planet Donut-Five, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

Soon, a member of the TNG crew talks to Jake Sisko, who is recognized by many TNG fans, though this person doesn't really help the plot.

Then, Kom'again, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Kom'again is not REALLY that bad, because hasn't been born yet.

The crew then learns that Donut-Five is in grave danger! And they must come to the rescue!

A few minutes later, there is an embarrassing scene where Data sings 'In the Year 2525.' The audience groans.

And later, Worf is even more embarrassing because he spills hydraulic fluid on his crotch and everyone thinks he has wet himself. This ticks off many Klingon fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, eats chocolate. Unfortunately it doesn't help the plot.

A little later, Dr. Crusher slams a tricorder continuously into her forehead. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Picard and his Away Team beams to the swamp. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, the audience gets a feeling of Deja Vu. Because the crew fights a cloud with a machine in the center. This seems verrrry familiar...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Crap on a stick!!!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

The crew discovers that Kom'again has a time shield! This makes things very dangerous!

Then, one of the crewmembers says 'Time is like a donut!!' Even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Kom'again, the Enterprise is seen shifting into the likeness of its predecessors when it flies through the time shield. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Kom'again.

Soon, Riker shoots at Kom'again. But this accomplishes absolutely nothing.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called The Jack Daniels. In a fit of rage, Kom'again attempts to activate his time shield! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Kom'again by tying a concrete block to his ankles and throwing him out an airlock. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Geordi saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with having to drink coffee instead of Earl Grey tea. Picard then gives a boring speech about the shape of donuts reflecting that of his own life.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.


THE END

 

[Agamon]

Rated PG; I don't think Eric's grandma will be offended:

Star Trek: Doritos

Written By: Agamon
The film opens with some really annoying credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see midgets screaming. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly.

Here, we see the TNG crew. They are eating cake in bed. This scene is lame.

During this scene, Picard whines about being bald.

The crew is then interrupted! As a result, the TNG crew must stop the Klingons. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data thinks he is a woman. This scene is embarrassing.

But suddenly, there is an action scene involving a battle with Ferengi! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finds out that Gonzo is going to blow up Sol, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

Soon, a member of the TNG crew talks to T'Pal, who is recognized by many TNG fans, though this person doesn't really help the plot.

Then, Gonzo, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Gonzo is not REALLY that bad, because he is a muppet.

The crew then learns that Earth is in grave danger! And they must come to the rescue!

A few minutes later, there is an embarrassing scene where Data sings 'Man, I Feel Like a Woman.' The audience groans.

And later, Worf is even more embarrassing because he accidentally shoves his phasor up his nose. This ticks off many Klingon fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, gets naked and starts chasing Data's cat. Unfortunately it doesn't help the plot.

A little later, the crew trips over each other while trying to square dance. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Picard and his Away Team beams to the marsh. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, the audience gets a feeling of Deja Vu, because a bald chick joins the crew. This seems verrrry familiar...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Kiss my ass!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

The crew discovers that Gonzo has a star bomb! This makes things very dangerous!

Then, one of the crewmembers says 'Not in the face!' Even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Gonzo, Wesley's head implodes. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Gonzo.

Soon, Riker shoots at a Romulan Warbird. But this accomplishes absolutely nothing.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called The Big Ball o'Gas. In a fit of rage, Gonzo attempts to activate his star bomb! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Gonzo by ripping Gonzo's nose off and stabbing him with it. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Picard's future self saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with being bald. Picard then gives a boring speech about how the sun isn't all that useful anyways.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.


THE END

 

[Chain Lightning]

Very Funny. I'm gonna let all my friends at work try this out.





Star Trek:Crusader

Written By:Chain Lightning
The film opens with some really annoying credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see a small child floating around Saturn. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly.

Here, we see the TNG crew. They are playing poker. This scene is lame.

During this scene, Picard whines about not finding time to be true explorers.

The crew is then interrupted! As a result, the TNG crew must find out what happened to DS9. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data makes 100 other android versions of himself so that each can explore a 100 different human emotions. This scene is embarrassing.

But suddenly, there is an action scene involving Worf skinny dipping and firing his 'phasers'.! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finds out that that DS9 has been stolen by the Ferengi, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

Soon, a member of the TNG crew talks to Troi's mother, who is recognized by many TNG fans, though this person doesn't really help the plot.

Then, K-Les, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But K-Les is not REALLY that bad, because just wanted to save his familiy's restraurant franchise..

The crew then learns that Bajora is in grave danger! And they must come to the rescue!

A few minutes later, there is an embarrassing scene where Data sings 'Lady Marmalade.' The audience groans.

And later, Worf is even more embarrassing because he has to donate sperm. This ticks off many Klingon fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, then dances a fan dance in the desert.. Unfortunately it doesn't help the plot.

A little later, the entire away team breaths in Ferengi fart gas. While in a heated firefight, they are constantly farting.. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Picard and his Away Team beams to the the arctic glacier. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, the audience gets a feeling of Deja Vu. Because "the Enterprise coming to the rescue of a space station", rips off Wrath of Khan. This seems verrrry familiar...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'bitches come!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

The crew discovers that K-Les has a computer virus that replaces ownership deeds of spacestations to make them owned legally by Ferengi! This makes things very dangerous!

Then, one of the crewmembers says 'I live for this $#!' Even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop K-Les, the Ferengi modified DS9 station transforms to a giant robot. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop K-Les.

Soon, Riker shoots at a Ferengi child. But this accomplishes absolutely nothing.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called The Doom of Man. In a fit of rage, K-Les attempts to activate his computer virus that replaces ownership deeds of spacestations to make them owned legally by Ferengi! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills K-Les by catching the villian from falling into a vat of acid, but loses his grip and the villian falls into it anyway. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Guinan saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with not finding time to be true explorers. Picard then gives a boring speech about the power of love.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.


THE END

 

[Brisk-sg]

Here We Go


Star Trek: Constipated

Written By:Josh

The film opens with some really annoying credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see poloran phaser banks shooting clay pigeons. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly.

Here, we see the TNG crew. They are scubba diving. This scene is lame.

During this scene, Picard whines about not having any hair.

The crew is then interrupted! As a result, the TNG crew must go to France for a wine tasting convention. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data is reassembled into a Pimp by the Ferengi to promote their version of Rogaine. This scene is embarrassing.

But suddenly, there is an action scene involving a dog fight sequence with futuristic Hot Air Balloons above the French countryside! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finds out that the Ferengi are planning to obtain a monopoly on the galactic supply of Rogaine, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

Soon, a member of the TNG crew talks to Q, who is recognized by many TNG fans, though this person doesn't really help the plot.

Then, Blah, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Blah is not REALLY that bad, because he just wants more money to buy a really really really big entertainment system.

The crew then learns that Picard's future hair is in grave danger! And they must come to the rescue!

A few minutes later, there is an embarrassing scene where Data sings 'I Like Big Buts.' The audience groans.

And later, Worf is even more embarrassing because he is blinded by a phaser blast and keeps pressing the COM button instead of the FIRE button. This ticks off many Klingon fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, drinks wine, gets drunk, and meets data in a dark alley. Unfortunately it doesn't help the plot.

A little later, Data avoids Federation Phaser fire using the trade mark move from the Matrix. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Picard and his Away Team beams to the farmlands of France. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, the audience gets a feeling of Deja Vu. Because Geordi kills the fake Klingon assassin, who flys out of the window. This seems verrrry familiar...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'by Zeus!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

The crew discovers that Blah has a Hair Growth Implant! This makes things very dangerous!

Then, one of the crewmembers says 'I want my hair back!' Even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Blah, the Starbase falls into Earth's gravity well, crashing into Starfleet Headquarters. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Blah.

Soon, Riker shoots at Data. But this accomplishes absolutely nothing.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called the Ferengi Wastes. In a fit of rage, Blah attempts to activate his Data's Hair Growth Implant! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Blah by tricking him into drinking Rogaine. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Beverly Crusher saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with not having any hair. Picard then gives a boring speech about why Rogain should be free for the masses.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.


THE END


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Congratulations!
You have now written a Next Generation movie
that's just as good as the ones shown at theaters!
Print this movie out and send it to Rick Berman

 

[ninthcouncil]

Star Trekrosthesis

Written By:ninthcouncil
The film opens with some really annoying credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see three Vulcans eating a pie. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly.

Here, we see the TNG crew. They are having a pissing contest. This scene is lame.

During this scene, Picard whines about his prostate problem.

The crew is then interrupted! As a result, the TNG crew must rescue idiot Admiral Janeway from a stuck elevator. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data eats his own head. This scene is embarrassing.

But suddenly, there is an action scene involving Troi failing to open a peanut butter jar! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finds out that that Data is not an android, that's just a big joke played by the rest of the crew, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

Soon, a member of the TNG crew talks to Neelix, who has his head stuck in a cow, who is recognized by many TNG fans, though this person doesn't really help the plot.

Then, Slobodan Milosevic, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Slobodan Milosevic is not REALLY that bad, because just wants us all to love each other (especially him).

The crew then learns that Jack Chick is in grave danger! And they must come to the rescue!

A few minutes later, there is an embarrassing scene where Data sings 'Pretty Vacant.' The audience groans.

And later, Worf is even more embarrassing because he is the only character who can't piss higher than Picard, dodgy prostate and all. This ticks off many Klingon fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, succeeds in opening the jar of peanut butter. Unfortunately it doesn't help the plot.

A little later, Wesley Criusher is forced to eat a huge jar of chili peppers by Geordi. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Picard and his Away Team beams to the volleyball court of a French nudist resort. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, the audience gets a feeling of Deja Vu. Because all the female characters wear unecessarily short skirts. This seems verrrry familiar...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Melonfarmers!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

The crew discovers that Slobodan Milosevic has a clothes mangle! This makes things very dangerous!

Then, one of the crewmembers says 'Donald, where's your troosers!' Even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Slobodan Milosevic, the Enterprise accidentally vapourises the Exeter. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Slobodan Milosevic.

Soon, Riker shoots at his own beard. But this accomplishes absolutely nothing.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called Betty's Kitchen. In a fit of rage, Slobodan Milosevic attempts to activate his clothes mangle! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Slobodan Milosevic by injecting him with lard. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Elvis Presley saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with his prostate problem. Picard then gives a boring speech about wearing women's undergarments.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.


THE END


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Congratulations!
You have now written a Next Generation movie
that's just as good as the ones shown at theaters!
Print this movie out and send it to Rick Berman!

 

[Villano]

This is fun.

I wrote a dirty version that would surely offend Eric's Grandmother, so I won't print it here.

But, here's an excerpt anyway:

"But suddenly, there is an action scene involving many nipple clamps! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately."

Trust me, you don't want to read the whole thing.

 

[Nightstorm]

Star Trek -The Real Generation

First get rid of that old, tired crew and start with a new one 10 years later. Only Data(being an android) has survived a Borg infestation of the last crew. He's now Number one of the new Enterprise that is ran by openly gay /Betazoid/Hunk. In this movie Data intergrates and becomes an complete human android having stablized his emotion chip with the help of the openly gay/Betazoid/Hunk Captain. Yum