I'm too "cool" to game

[jester47]

I have actually found that the turn off for women and other people is not the game but the fact that people try to hide it. If you are hiding the game, then they start to wonder what else you are hiding from them. Instantly they are wondering if they can trust you.

Sometimes my non-gaming friends ask me what I did last weekend and I'll say somthing like "Well, Saturday night we had our D&D game and then sunday I went hiking."

I am pretty much a jock. I game and I am damned proud of it. Just like anything else it is a lot of fun when done right. Try it, put it out in the open, when someone asks "whats that?" you say "oh its just my D&D collection." In most cases they will take it like you just said Movie Collection, or snail or butterfly or stamp collection, or ant farm or wahtever.

If you are ashamed of it enough to hide it then you don't need to play it.

BTE

Aaron.

 

[HeavyG]

our sick friend was actually the last segment of Return to the Tomb of Horrors.

Oddly appropriate...

 

[Chauzu]

Nobody seems to really care if I do.

 

[Left-handed Hummingbird]

Yeah, me too. I'm way too cool to game.

But then - gaming becomes cool because me and my cool friends are doing it.

 

[Harlock]

How do I tell people I game? I think the "I grok Spock" t-shirt and tapped up glasses give it way. Seriously though, there are always going to be people that judge you based on what games you play, what clothers you wear, what beer you drink etc. Who gives a rat's rump what prejudice jackasses think of it? You really care enough about someone like that enough to want to impress them? Newsflash: I am married to a beautiful woman, have a cool little kid, have lots of friends and game and do not hide it.

 

[I'm A Banana]

Come! Join the "OUT OF THE BASEMENT!" Movement!

We need T-shirts or bumper stickers or something.

The key I think is to enjoy your hobby, but don't foist it on others (just like any other hobby you have). In general, people aren't nearly as adverse to it as they once were.

Look, a certain negative stereotype is associated with a gamer, but if you don't fit that stereotype, there's really no reason to be affraid of being put into it. Just make sure D&D doesn't *define* your personality, and you should be fine. People will decide if you're a cool person to hang out with independantly of D&D, and then when they find out you play, it won't be a problem...it's just something aurin does. Just like Bob plays fantasy football, and Jonas likes bad kung-fu movies, and Marie has a bit of an anime fetish, and Kim's really into alt-punk music, or whatever.

The key is to get your name and personality first, and then you don't need to be affraid about revealing D&D to them. Keep your books in your room, maybe, but put 'em on a shelf. Don't invite people to look at them (unless it somehow comes up in conversation), but if someone sees them, don't be affraid to explain it.

Explaining it is sometimes the hard part...you just have to instantly associate it with something else that they register as cool/interesting. Say it's like Lord of the Rings, but one guy's the director, others are the actors, and you don't HAVE to follow a script. Say it's like a videogame, but on pencils and paper (works really well if you or your friends enjoy CRPGs). Say it's kind of like telling a story with a big group of people all contributing the characters. Say it's like an impromptu play performance. Say it involves devil summoning and ritualistic self-mutilation. The key is just to associate it with something they already find cool (since you're cool, and you're associated with it, it shouldn't be a problem).

If anyone gives you the "OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, YOU'RE SUCH A F-ING NERD!" (which I honestly can't see happening) then they probably have bigger problems when they judge someone based upon a collection of books in their room.

Speaking from experience, if you keep this hidden throughout all of college, you're passing up perhaps the most prime opportunity for RPing there is. There are a lot of people in most colleges who play, or who at least want to give it a try. And even if they are nerds -- you'll never find a more dense collection of nerds around than on a college campus.

 

[HiLiphNY]

Yeah, I remember the days back when it mattered to keep my gaming habits ultra top secret. . . .ahh the logistics. That said, I'm a pretty conservative guy - read: no goth, black hair, spikes, etc. In fact, I'm a trader for a bank in NYC. No one would suppose from looking at me that I played any sort of RPG. I'm married, 32 and now have all my books in my condo out in the open. How do I explain? Easy, any of the previous responses are good enough for me. I don't usually bring the topic up, and certainly not usually around my banking work-crowd. However, more than a few know, and don't really care. The wife has no interest, but is happy if I'm having fun. Her only real complaint is the hygene level of some (a very small minority) of my gaming group at any given moment - and she does have a point! Laff! SOAP people! EVERYDAY!!!

 

[Henry]

I'm 32, have a weird sense of humor, and have an expeditious retreat spell cast on my hairline - I gave up on looking "cool" long ago.

But one of the most important lessons I can possibly leave you with is this one: A person who doesn't do the things they love because they are worried about the opinions of others who probably really don't care about them, are wasting time on a fruitless pursuit. Life is so short on this world, that the time not spent leading a fulfilling life is hurting only yourself. Play D&D, get the amount of education you need to succeed, take the job that makes YOU fulfilled at the end of the day - and if you can't find it, take a job that gets you by, to heck with the prestige of it, and keep looking until you find the job that you WANT to do.


A long time ago, there was a phrase "keeping up with the Joneses" - referring to doing the things your peers did because you wanted to not stand out from the crowd in a negative way. The fact is, the Joneses don't care about you - they have their own worries and deficiencies they want to hide from everyone.

If everyone in this world stopped worrying about how they compare to other people, and starting setting goals for themselves that THEY should reach to better themselves, then this world would be a lot less catty, mean-spirited, and cold place. The personal goal is what matters; the goal one thinks others have for you is a fruitless quest.

"In the end, the race is long, and it is only with yourself."

 

[Viking Bastard]

If all the 'respect-yourself-nobody-cares-be-yourself' doesn't work for you (it should btw!), and you still feel like a total dork about D&D (GEEK POWER!), just tell people it's 'Theatre - just with rules'.

Instead of being dorky, you're suddenly all artistic 'n stuff.

 

[Richards]

You may be too cool to game, but always remember this:

After a month without bathing, you'll be too game to be cool.

Johnathan

(Boy, does the wisdom just drip off of me, or what?)