Hey there Armando_81!
I’ve been occasionally checking this forum now and again for about 12 years, and I’ve finally created an account today to congratulate you on getting this far. It’s pretty amazing that you’ve stuck with the IH project for all this time, and I wish you well getting the rest of the way to publication!
Well thank you very much.
I did sort of give up on things for about 6-7 years or so (was a bit deflated after the 4E Vampire Bestiary - my own fault entirely though) and pursued a few other avenues.
I can't stress enough how things are going great with the writing and art.
I've over-reached with the page count (my usual idiocy), over spent with the art (ah well you only live once) and still a few months before I can say "its pretty much done". But I am having fun doing all this again and I hope my enthusiasm for this project comes across in the final release.
Apologies for very few spoilers to date - I don't want to drip feed things (because I often take so long) and I think hitting with a big bunch of stuff for the Kickstarter preview will make more impact.
I can’t speak to the rules, but I know a little graphic design, so here are a few pieces of layout feedback:
I appreciate every bit of feedback.
I like the marble-and-gold design a lot, and the fancy stat block border is really cool. It does take a lot of space away from the content, so you might need to make a tough decision whether to re-format it, or remove it, or remove some text. At very least, you must keep it from crowding (or even overlapping!) the text.
I know. I'll fix the dragon surround for the stat-block. Tweak a few elements. I have tried to fit the border so it is just between the columns but there is a tiny bit of run off. Its 'meant' to be more graphic flourish than illustration, I just got a bit carried away, so I think I can thin it down a bit when I re-do it.
I really want the 3 column format (and to try and keep the stat-blocks into one page).
- As @dave2008 mentioned, it’s odd that Legendary actions aren’t part of the stat block, but I think Flight actions also should be in there. Honestly, the Salvage and Tactics portions also seem crunchy enough to be included. A 2-column block could help this if you were willing to consider it.
I don't think a 2 column format would help as much as you think. A lot of the stat-block information requires new lines and that was one of the reasons I went with the narrower triple columns in the first place.
I understand space is at a premium and in that example getting the full stat-block in was just too much.
For the monster pages with stat-blocks...
Description (Top Left) - Stat-block (Top Middle) - Background (Top Right)
Adventure Ideas (Bottom Left) - Stat Block Actions (Bottom Middle) - Tactics* (Bottom Right)
*...and potentially run-off stuff
I do have a double width dragon surround (for larger stat-blocks, but it encroaches the Background Text.
Some re-jiggling of where stuff is meant to go, might help.
- Speaking of salvage, that table seems at odds with the rest of the design. Is there a reason that this part needs to be so distinctive?
Do you think it overwhelms the rest? I think I recently increased the size of the header font for the table and it might be a bit too obtrusive.
Solid black across the table header title is strong (I am considering a gold effect), and I maybe over did the 'shadow' surround on the table (black outer glow).
- Is Proficiency connected to CR in some way? It looks lonely out there by itself on the right margin of that line.
I think that is how the recent official stat-blocks handle things. I did notice the claw unfortunately overlaps at that exact spot.
- Do the Bloodied and Disadvantage keywords need to be a different color from the rest?
No maybe not, I agree the red is a distraction. Initially the Dragon Surround was actually red.
- On the whole, the layout is a little disorientating, your eye isn’t really drawn to the upper left (where you want the readers to start, yes?)
Maybe start with an Initial Capital (Gold?), tone down the dragon surround (more graphic look) and move things around.
- and the sections don’t really connect to the ones below them.
I think I cris-crossed things a bit with the serif'ed and sans serif fonts (distinguishing between game mechanics and the text itself) and its better to have the same types together.
- It would make more sense to have the background above the adventure ideas in the left column, for example.
You could be right on that.
Now I should point out the top left is usually the description of the monster. But the left column could possibly be:
- Brief Description (or No Description? )
- Background Info
- Adventure Ideas
Centre Column (stat block)
Right Column
- Additional Stat Information (Legendary, Mythic, Lair, Tactics, Salvage - with toned down header on the table.
- What’s with the little demilich guy in the corner?
I have different graphic icons of each tier (Demilich is the graphic for epic tier), so when you flick through the monster sections its easier to pick out which tier you want.
Crazily though (because I am an idiot at times), each icon gets slightly bigger (and also forms a bit of a jigsaw with the previous one). I may need to tweak the gold page border so that the top corner can potentially be used as a framing device for each icon.
- Is Takeoff a missing flight action? It’s capitalized in the tactics section.
Stalled Landing and Takeoff are the same mechanic. In one its landing (and flapping its wings) in the other it is taking off (and flapping its wings). I could have just called it Wing Flap and avoided confusion.
- Finally, a complete opinion: I think the adventure ideas sound more like Hephaestus adventures than Ardalus adventures.
Agreed. Again Ardalus technically isn't part of the 'book' itself. I was going to just have a standard red dragon in an Appendix to show how I would do an Ancient Red Dragon. After messing about with the idea I just expanded it to be Ardalus, adopted son of Hephaestus and just cranked out a few ideas.
I hope that didn’t sound too critical.
Not at all amigo. This is the time to stick the boot in, while I still have time to change things. Really appreciate the feedback.
I'm planning a web preview (something that is not in the book - for copyright reasons, but is using the mechanics) for October (a few weeks time), November and December. Then in January I should be good to start the Early Kickstarter sign-up page with some actual big previews from the book.
So I will tweak the stat-block and a few design elements for the next preview and hopefully you can give me your feedback on it.
All in all, it’s a great job,
I haven't even shown anything good yet, trust me you'll love it. The 'actual' art is so good, I want to spoil stuff now, but I know I can't.
I love the art, and I can’t wait to see some of the other entries!
The dragon art in the Ardalus entry is just a throwaway piece I knocked up. The actual art, with the real artists is awesome and I am still looking to grab 4-5 licensed illustrations and I think my main colour commission artist has 6 pieces still to finish. Probably looking at 150+ illustrations (half in colour, half in black & white).
