In game romantic relationship

[Similkameen]

I'm new to this forum, and I apologize if this whole question has been discussed in forum before.

I'm the only female player in a party of equally mixed male and female characters. I've never played a character who gets romantically involved with another character. I would have thought it would just make the game degenerate.
There was an aspertion cast on my character, that another character's problems were related to the romantic aspect of the relationship between us. I had thought the relationship was more acrimonious than romantic. The DM has set up a scenario that involves tension between the two characters, partly alignment based, partly situational.

Is this something I let die away? Do I confront the other character about his intentions towards me? Would having a romantic relationship between two characters add anything to the game? I would have thought it would
exclude the remainder of the party.

Any thoughts as to how it show be played?

 

[Hella_Tellah]

Is this something I let die away? Do I confront the other character about his intentions towards me? Would having a romantic relationship between two characters add anything to the game? I would have thought it would exclude the remainder of the party.

Any thoughts as to how it show be played?

How does your character feel about her admirer?

 

[fba827]

in my experiences, it rarely adds much to the game.
If you gloss over it, there is little point to even having it there other than to say it's done.
If you focus on it, then it ends up putting focus on just the two of you and excluding the other party members.

i mean, if everyone in the group is okay with it and/or wants it in, sure, have it in, but don't focus on it or else other party members will just end up sitting around watching the two of you roleplay out your romantic dinners ...

all that said, i guess it really depends on your individual group as to what sort of tolerance there would be for it.

 

[Similkameen]

How does your character feel about her admirer?

Mostly struggling not to be too antagonistic. And there is nothing that says the character is an admirer, another character is intimating that he is.

 

[Similkameen]

in my experiences, it rarely adds much to the game.

If you focus on it, then it ends up putting focus on just the two of you and excluding the other party members.

i mean, if everyone in the group is okay with it and/or wants it in, sure, have it in, but don't focus on it or else other party members will just end up sitting around watching the two of you roleplay out your romantic dinners ...

all that said, i guess it really depends on your individual group as to what sort of tolerance there would be for it.

Pretty much sums up my feelings on this. I don't know the rest of the players well enough to know how they would feel about it. The other female characters are pretty gender neutral in playing as "she".

 

[justanobody]

I don't play in games with romantic relationships between the party or anyone else personally. I like to play D&D, not The Dating Game.

If the plot has this going on and you don't like it, then tell the DM to drop it.

The only thing it could add to the game from anything I have seen is as you said a disruption of the game, and the party fighting over trying to get things done while "the couple" are too busy messing around.

It could add dynamic tension to the party if done right and observed correctly by all, but I have never seen that pulled off.

and last but not least...Welcome to ENWorld!

 

[Hella_Tellah]

Mostly struggling not to be too antagonistic. And there is nothing that says the character is an admirer, another character is intimating that he is.

Ah. Well, I can think of a few approaches, off the top of my head. She could:

• Get fumingly angry at the intimation that anyone would be romantically interested in a very serious priestess of the church/questing knight/dread witch.
• Feign interest in your supposed admirer as a means of getting him to stand in front of her when big nasty things want to harm her.
• Do her utmost to play matchmaker for the accused lovestruck, in hopes that this will take the heat off of her.
• Express puzzlement at first, then allow him to try to impress her. You know, what reasonable people do.
• Purchase a tazer. Proceed to taze anyone who attempts any grabbiness.

What I'm saying is, whatever you do, don't be boring. Do something that is rooted in having an effect on another character. Do something that says, "I want to interact with my fellow players," whether that means a romantic relationship or not.

More questions:
What game are you playing? What is your character like? What is the accused admirer like? What is the accuser like?

 

[Similkameen]

Thanks for the welcome, and I echo your thoughts. No value added. Need a way to deflect this game element.

 

[Similkameen]

Ah. Well, I can think of a few approaches, off the top of my head. She could:

• Get fumingly angry at the intimation that anyone would be romantically interested in a very serious priestess of the church/questing knight/dread witch.
• Feign interest in your supposed admirer as a means of getting him to stand in front of her when big nasty things want to harm her.
• Do her utmost to play matchmaker for the accused lovestruck, in hopes that this will take the heat off of her.
• Express puzzlement at first, then allow him to try to impress her. You know, what reasonable people do.
• Purchase a tazer. Proceed to taze anyone who attempts any grabbiness.

What I'm saying is, whatever you do, don't be boring. Do something that is rooted in having an effect on another character. Do something that says, "I want to interact with my fellow players," whether that means a romantic relationship or not.

I think you have some good suggestions here, especially if I don't want this to develop. Your #1 or #5 or something like it could work. #2 won't, character already does this as an honourable defender type.
I'm getting the point though, use an interesting in game mechanism to make sure there is no development of relationship. And importantly to be seen as a serious character, angry when those kinds of implications are made.

More questions:
What game are you playing? What is your character like? What is the accused admirer like? What is the accuser like?

Game is 4e. Character is a bristly, unwilling to trust, abused tiefling warlock. Accused admirer is honourable defender. Accuser is unknown, word of mouth - what I was told was...

 

[justanobody]

Thanks for the welcome, and I echo your thoughts. No value added. Need a way to deflect this game element.

Have you tried the "silent treatment" towards the issue?

Just ignore it when it is brought up in game and change the subject, or continue with something else and act like no one said a thing about it?

Maybe the group will get the idea you are not interested in that sub-plot.

I am cold and heartless person so I would take this approach out of game before I sat down.

This dating/relationship thing is over between my character and [insert character name]. Either it quits in the game and I continue playing, or I quit the game which in turn will mean I am not here so it ends either way. So it is over, and you only need to chose whether you want me in the game or not.

This approach may not work for you.