Charwoman Gene
Adventurer
The only D&D game I play with romance in it is the soap-opera like multi-character solo game I ruin for my wife.
In game romantic relationship
- Thread starter Similkameen
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D'karr
Adventurer
That was pretty funny.
Stormborn
Explorer
In my experiance romantic relationships, either between PCs or a PC and an NPC, can add value to a game, depending on the game, the characters, and the players themselves. I also find that such relationships, when between PCs, are frequently best to be developed at least to some degree outside of the game.
It sounds like the accusitory PC/player is saying that because of the whole "if they are antagonistic it must be to cover up secret feelings" cliche. The easiest way to settle it is before the next session, when everyone gets together to play, just say "Hey Bob, does your PC have romantic inentions toward my PC?" If Bob says "No" then everyone knows there is nothing and you move on. If Bob says "Well, yeah." Then you say "I don't really feel like that my character would develop that kind of relationship with yours. So she will not be accepting any development on that front."
There. Issue settled. It is OK to talk about in game stuff out of game. And if you do it it settles everything. If you are uncomfortable with that direct approach then talk to the DM and have him/her do it.
It sounds like the accusitory PC/player is saying that because of the whole "if they are antagonistic it must be to cover up secret feelings" cliche. The easiest way to settle it is before the next session, when everyone gets together to play, just say "Hey Bob, does your PC have romantic inentions toward my PC?" If Bob says "No" then everyone knows there is nothing and you move on. If Bob says "Well, yeah." Then you say "I don't really feel like that my character would develop that kind of relationship with yours. So she will not be accepting any development on that front."
There. Issue settled. It is OK to talk about in game stuff out of game. And if you do it it settles everything. If you are uncomfortable with that direct approach then talk to the DM and have him/her do it.
Charwoman Gene
Adventurer
Oh boy. Yeah well, it's been more than a year and I keep botching up the plot so it still applies.
Similkameen
First Post
Stormborn, I'm interested that you have ever seen romantic relationships add value to a game. Do you have anything to add, about when or how it is successful? You mean the PCs develop the relationship outside the game, in character? Are you saying that is done so it doesn't take over the game and make it tedious for the others? Or something else.
I understand it depends on the circumstances, and in my case this being a new game with folk I haven't played with before, I don't know all those things. So yes it could best be discussed out of game, in my case.
el-remmen
Moderator Emeritus
Yeah, I am having a hard time distinguishing between the OP's personal comfort with the idea of an in-game romance and the character's. . . So maybe she can clarify?
For my own part, I love this kind of stuff since to me the dynamic between player characters (and their immediate NPC allies/rivals) is as important as the desire to save the world or hoard treasure.
I mean, would LotR be as interesting without Gimli and Legolas rivalry-turned-friendship, or Aragorn's (potentially ill-fated) love for Arwyn, or even Sam homoerotic loyalty to Frodo and his desire to get back to the Shire to marry Rosie.
I only used Lord of the Rings as an easy example, but could have easily used a variety of fantasy and mythological sources.
Anyway, my point of this is that while the centrality of romance/relationships in a D&D campaign varies to taste, I think that at whatever level it can inform and develop the characters and their epic missions.
It can range from a simple declaration like, "You all notice that X character has been tending to unroll her bedroll closer to Y character when you camp for the night" that never goes any further, to detailed role-played complications. . . It is a matter of what the DM and players are comfortable with and where they want to game to go.
Again, I think it can add a lot, but I do see the potential for a game to be derailed if not handled correctly, people are immature (or thin-skinned) about it, or it leads to other players being left out of the spotlight.
To me it is the in-character relationships that make the other stuff matter - it is just about how much focus on them you want to give.
In this case, the I love the idea of a PC stirring up trouble by intimating that there is unresolved desire between two other PCs. It jsut makes me think that character is up to something, and figuring that kind of stuff out is FUN!
For my own part, I love this kind of stuff since to me the dynamic between player characters (and their immediate NPC allies/rivals) is as important as the desire to save the world or hoard treasure.
I mean, would LotR be as interesting without Gimli and Legolas rivalry-turned-friendship, or Aragorn's (potentially ill-fated) love for Arwyn, or even Sam homoerotic loyalty to Frodo and his desire to get back to the Shire to marry Rosie.
I only used Lord of the Rings as an easy example, but could have easily used a variety of fantasy and mythological sources.
Anyway, my point of this is that while the centrality of romance/relationships in a D&D campaign varies to taste, I think that at whatever level it can inform and develop the characters and their epic missions.
It can range from a simple declaration like, "You all notice that X character has been tending to unroll her bedroll closer to Y character when you camp for the night" that never goes any further, to detailed role-played complications. . . It is a matter of what the DM and players are comfortable with and where they want to game to go.
Again, I think it can add a lot, but I do see the potential for a game to be derailed if not handled correctly, people are immature (or thin-skinned) about it, or it leads to other players being left out of the spotlight.
To me it is the in-character relationships that make the other stuff matter - it is just about how much focus on them you want to give.
In this case, the I love the idea of a PC stirring up trouble by intimating that there is unresolved desire between two other PCs. It jsut makes me think that character is up to something, and figuring that kind of stuff out is FUN!
Similkameen
First Post
I think this is the crux of the matter. I am comfortable with role-playing something like this. I don't know whether the other players would be "creeped out" or find it "offensive". There is quite a lot of relationship tension in the game, it is developing well and is fun. Antagonism, lack of trust, erratic players...
Being the only woman doesn't bother me at all. Not knowing the other people well enough is an issue. But also I haven't seen adding romantic relationships adding to the game, especially between PCs. Or even a PC to an NPC. It can derail the game.
So my concern is more will the players find it uncomfortable. Will it wreck the party dynamic? So if I develop this along "I'm insulted at the insinuation that my antagonism is something else", then it will give me time to get to know the group better.
Similkameen
First Post
Sorry I'm not being too clear here. As a player my discomfort with the idea of an ingame romance is that is will derail the game and make others that I don't know too well uncomfortable. I am also not convinced that romantic relationships add to a game at all. I haven't seen it successfully done.
As a character, I will likely be lost. The character is already trying to figure out whether there is anyone in the world who can be trusted. She mistrusts just about everyone, having been kicked when down, and kicked when doing nothing offensive at all. She is just starting to feel that the character who is supposedly in this relationship, could possibly be trusted, since he is an honourable type. So this intimation will likely cause her all sorts of conflict, she will be more confused about who to trust. She isn't looking for any kind of romantic relationship.
Her goals are to figure out who she is, can she have integrity as a tiefling in her world. So could be lots of fun to play.
Does that clarify sufficiently
To exclude romance from D&D is to not be true to the source material. Almost ALL of the literary inspirations of D&D (INCLUDING the uber-macho Conan stories) feature romantic relationships of some kind. Arthur and Guinevere (and Lancelot). Bradamante (the female knight from the legends of Charlamagne) and Ruggiero. Tristan and Iseult. Conan and Valeria (and Belit, etc.) The list goes on.
The important thing is that DM never forces the players in engage in romance. He can make it a possibility, but should never just say "your characters are attracted to each other, play it out". But then, I prefer old school sandbox-style campaigns where the players can do anything they please without the tyranny of an over-arching plot.
In my experience, romantic relationships add a great deal to the role-playing experience. They don't even have to take away from old-school orc-killing and treasure plundering. After all, what better motivation to raid an ancient tomb than to present your lady (or man) with the crown of some long dead noble (complete with a curse to provide future adventure hooks for the DM). I've had players with romantic relationships that didn't extend to their characters, non-involved players whose characters where intimately involved, and couples whose characters were also lovers. It isn't inherently disruptive as long as the DM sets and enforces boundaries for acceptable behavior at table (no bringing outside fights to the game, etc.). And to repeat, a DM should never attempt to tell players how their PCs feel about other characters.
The important thing is that DM never forces the players in engage in romance. He can make it a possibility, but should never just say "your characters are attracted to each other, play it out". But then, I prefer old school sandbox-style campaigns where the players can do anything they please without the tyranny of an over-arching plot.
In my experience, romantic relationships add a great deal to the role-playing experience. They don't even have to take away from old-school orc-killing and treasure plundering. After all, what better motivation to raid an ancient tomb than to present your lady (or man) with the crown of some long dead noble (complete with a curse to provide future adventure hooks for the DM). I've had players with romantic relationships that didn't extend to their characters, non-involved players whose characters where intimately involved, and couples whose characters were also lovers. It isn't inherently disruptive as long as the DM sets and enforces boundaries for acceptable behavior at table (no bringing outside fights to the game, etc.). And to repeat, a DM should never attempt to tell players how their PCs feel about other characters.
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