IRON DM 2011--Rules, Entries, Judgements, & Commentary

[Rune]

Round 2, Match 1: howandwhy99 vs. Waylander the Slayer

[sblock=Summary of Judgments]By a margin of 2:1, [MENTION=1830]Waylander the Slayer[/MENTION] advances to the Round 3, Championship Match to face the winner of Round 2, Match 2.

[MENTION=3192]howandwhy99[/MENTION] will face the contestant defeated in Round 2, Match 2 in a match to determine the 3rd place contestant of this tournament.[/sblock]

 

[Waylander the Slayer]

Thanks Judges. I agree with your criticism; i do think that what i had plotted out was too ambitious for the format. The word limit really crimps in what you can and cannot include in write ups (i.e, i think 2500-3000 words might be the more effective range). The whole plague plotline, upon hindsight, could have been cut, though i enjoyed writing that part more than anything.

I wanted to expand more on the witchlords (i.e., each of them are witches with slightly variant powers who are part of a coven etc.), but the background was big enough as is.

I also had a lot more on the plague and an entire encounter with the centipede/brainworm breeding ground that i cut out due to length issues.

Institutionalization was poorly used and could have been a lot more creative upon hindsight, the same with the "disreputable" part of the dragon. I wanted to design the Institute encounter further, where the PCs would have to get themselves institutionalized to get to the mad cleric, and deal with the out of control asylum as they tried to get to her.


Funny thing- I had Dragons Port as two words, but combined it to keep under the word count.

I loved howandwhy's set up, it is definitely twisted and clever and a very different scenario. Still unclear on why they stole the pet than kill the dragon, especially since he was sleeping.

I'll have to rethink things for the next round and consider making it more of an encounter than an adventure, though the latter is probably more of my strong suit.

 

[BriarMonkey]

Round 2, Match 2: BriarMonkey vs. Pour
1996 Words

Ingredients:

Swingset
Four and Twenty Blackbirds
Rakshasa Prince
Field of Stars
Consequences
Strand of Prayer Beads

Consequences of Court

An adventure for Pathfinder, or D&D 3rd Edition (3.5).

Background:

A minor noble, Lord Hennig, has tried many things to improve his standing in the royal court, however none of his schemes has fared well. Recently though, a new plan has been hatched.

Along the southern borders of the kingdom roam several small gnoll clans. For some time, there had been no real problems with the gnolls, other than the occasional missing livestock. In Hennig's eyes though, these gnolls provided a way into favor at court. Hiring a small mercenary company, Hennig sent these men to "stir up" the gnolls; arouse them into raiding into the kingdom. These mercenaries did just that - unfortunately, their arrival coincided with the rise of a particularly strong and charismatic gnoll leader, Gnarl Headtaker. Gnarl united several clans under his claw and began a rampage across the countryside, not only slaughtering the majority of the mercenary company, but laying waste to any farms and hamlets they encountered as they moved north into the kingdom.

In a political move, Hennig offered that he could resolve the gnoll problem. That opportunity was given to him. Unaware that the mercenary company had been destroyed, he unsuccessfully tried to find them so as to now stop the problem he had started. Now, with no troops, he panicked. The King was not approached for troops, as Hennig felt that would show poorly on his person. Instead, he decided to act upon an offer from the agent of a Prince whom he had never met, and enter into an alliance.

At a banquet for the newly allied nobles, Hennig soon found out that he was now allied with the Rakshasa Prince, Maneevala. Again, he panicked and offered a gift to cement their relationship. Unfortunately, he offered Maneevala's wife an exquisite jewel encrusted gown, the "Field of Stars" - so named because when struck by low light, the entire gown lit up as though it were made of the heavens themselves. The only problem with this offer was that the gown was currently the property of the Queen. Maneevala offered that when his wife was adorned with the new gown, he would give Hennig a small force of troops to help him deal with his gnoll "problem". Of course, this would be in exchange for a small favor, to be asked of at a later time.

Now in yet another difficult position, Hennig tendered the services of another mercenary company, this time of guildless thieves - led by a man named Rafferty. This company was given the task of stealing the Queen's gown. While Rafferty accepted the job, some ill will was built into the relationship when Hennig refused to give half the job's fee in advance. In response, one of Rafferty's lieutenants had something very personal stolen from Hennig's wife - her strand of prayer beads. These beads were made of perfect black pearls and corded with spider silk and gold; in their own right they could have paid for a large piece of the job. The beads, considered collateral at this point, were then hidden with a halfling baker friend, who baked the lot into a pie of four and twenty blackbirds for "safe keeping".


Set Up:

As the PCs enter the picture, there are several different threads in motion.

To start, Rafferty's company of thieves are planning the theft of the Queen's gown, the "Field of Stars". They already have a man on the inside at court, so as to provide details on the movements of the royals. Similarly, they have an operative in the housekeeping staff, as well as within the grounds keeping staff. All at this point are gathering intelligence.

Additionally, Maneevala, the Rakshasa Prince, is having one of his generals ready a small force of about 200 troops. Once the Rakshasa's wife has received the promised gown, he will allow his general to travel to Lord Hennig's aid. While deployed, the general is to keep his eyes open to any weaknesses in the kingdoms military and defenses. These are to be noted for possible future exploitation.

As the company of thieves works their plan, Hennig is working on his own plans. To start, he is planning how to employ his new troops to effectively remove the gnoll threat. Similarly, while he fully believes the thieves he hired to be behind his wife's missing strand of prayer beads, he can not yet take any actions against them - as they are needed to obtain the gown. Thus, he has sent his crier out, in as secretive a way as he can muster, to hire adventurer types to find and return the beads to his wife.

The gnolls, some several dozen strong under Gnarl Headtaker, are rampaging across the southern countryside. They care not for anything save to slake their bloodlust and avenge themselves against the humans and their allies of this land.

Further, the King and the court are becoming concerned that Hennig is taking too long in dealing with the gnoll problem. Should another town fall to the gnolls, the King will have to suspend Hennig's role and handle the matter himself - which would, of course, lessen Hennig's influence at court.

In the mean time, the local thieves guild has caught wind of something big going down. Unfortunately, they haven't much more information than this. But, because they have been excluded from the endeavor, they are actively seeking out the source as there are "fees" to be paid.

And finally, Hennig's wife, Lady Elzbeth Hennig, fully expects that her husband is up to one of his "schemes" again. In an effort to save not only her reputation, but possibly her husband's neck, she is looking for someone to try to dismantle his plotting without calling undue attention to him, or her.


Hooks:

1) Refugees from the south have entered town, claiming that a massive gnoll is leading a rampage across the lands. None are spared from being devoured while still alive, or having their heads ripped from their bodies.

2) A man, calling himself Thom Henshroud (Hennig's crier), approaches the party. He inquires if they are willing to undertake a task of finding an important religious artifact, lost within the city. He will pay handsomely for it.

3) Rumors abound in the taverns and guild halls as to a gnoll incursion in the south. The town of Southfordeshire is apparently in the line of their warpath, only a few days from where the gnolls' last attacked.

4) A representative of the local Thieves Guild approaches the party. They have reason to believe that a significant job is underway in their city, possibly revolving around the royal court. The party is asked if they would be willing to find out what is actually going on and who is behind it. Honorary membership in the guild is part of what the task will reward.

5) A priest asks the PCs to a meeting at the childrens park, by the swingset, of the local temple. This is on behalf of his influential friend. It is a matter of importance to the kingdom's well being.


Details:

Timelines:

There is about 1 week of time before the gnolls strike the town of Southfordeshire - if for no other reason than the gnolls are not moving in a straight line from place to place. They tend to amble and zig zag as they look for victims and any potentials for personal gain.

Similarly, Rafferty's company (comprising about 14 individuals, not including paid informants, etc.) is about 3 days from making their move to steal the "Field of Stars" gown from the Queen.

Therefore, there will be a minimum of 3 days before Hennig will be able to "gift" the gown to Maneevala's wife and expect to gain any form of military support.


Working the Hooks:

The PCs may advance from one of more of the hooks given, each of which takes a different direction initially. It is because of this that the timelines above should be noted as any one can impact the decisions and actions of another.

1) If the PCs interview the refugees, they will find a member or two of the original mercenary company. These men, in utter shock of the horrors they witnessed, are willing to tell the PCs anything they are asked about, that they had a role in (see the background above).

From here, the PCs could either head south to try to deal with the gnolls; or they could confront Lord Hennig.

2) If accepted, Thom describes the strand of prayer beads and indicates that while valuable, their sentimental value far exceeds their worth. He gives them the only lead they have, which is that Rafferty, or someone in his company, has stolen them. Thom will also tell the PCs where the company is staying.

He will not tell the PCs why Rafferty is in town, nor what connection they have to himself or Hennig.

From here, the PCs are most likely going to confront, or otherwise try to check out, Rafferty and his company. These thieves are professionals and are paid well to keep their mouths shut. But, there is also hubris and bravado involved when dealing with these sorts - effective diplomacy, or just good old fashioned snooping can lead to who hired this company, and may even reveal that they are here for a job involving the royal court.

3) If the PCs are only working this hook, they will most likely head south to confront the gnolls.

If all plans go on schedule, what happens next depends on when the PCs arrive into the gnoll's area. If they arrive after day 3 and before the end of the week, they will have another group (Maneevala's troops on-loan) in the area combating the gnolls; if the arrive prior to, or on, day 3, they will be the only opposing force in the area.

If, by whatever mechanism (most likely by killing Gnarl Headtaker, which will cause the weak alliance to crumble), the PCs are able to handle the gnolls by themselves, they will return as heroes. Otherwise, Henning will have already claimed credit for removing the issue.

4) If the PCs accept, the representative will point them in the direction of the halfling baker, Louf Baker (who happens to be a guild member - but the representative won't tell them that). They are told to ask Louf about his Four and Twenty Blackbirds Pie.

Louf will be evasive due to torn loyalties, but if plied with enough drink or coin, he will eventually point the PCs toward Rafferty.

5) The priest's friend is Lady Hennig, and she will implore, or bribe, the PCs to help them.

She will explain that they have had strange visitors over the last few weeks and recently had a banquet where one of the guests was introduced as a Prince - but he looked like a tiger-man. It was after that banquet that her husband started acting weird. He became very secretive and started meeting with even more strangers. At about this same time he became involved with the gnoll issue.

If the subject comes up, she will note that her strand of prayer beads also went missing during this time.

She wants this whole issue with the tiger-man, the gnolls, and all these strangers to be cleared up - with as little noise as possible. If asked, she will grant an audience with Lord Hennig.


Wrapping Up:

Depending on how the PCs handle this scenario, any of the following may occur:

Handling the gnolls (this deprives Hennig of his options, he may or may not try to pursue the relation with the Rakshasa);

Handling Rafferty (this deprives Hennig of his military aid, but the gnolls are still a problem);

Returning the beads (Rafferty may bail on the job without having collateral).

 

[howandwhy99]

Not the result I was aiming for, but I didn’t really fulfill my part. Thank you to the judges for reviewing. I see the contest a little like a contract where they put forth effort to analyze entries for the participants benefit, only this time I didn’t hold up my end of the deal. I appreciate your giving feedback in spite of this. Thanks to Waylander too for making that possible. You deserve the win, best of luck in the championship.

The rest is a drawn out examination of my entry for those interested.

[sblock]My take on high level adventures is everything is bigger in scope. The dungeon, monsters, magic items, spells, etc., all are vastly more challenging for the players. In-game time typically passes more quickly, travel extends farther and is faster, and enemy’s henchmen forces are bigger too. What I posted was mostly a starting situation and background with this scope, but didn’t include all the meat needed in the ongoing scenarios. More detailed if/thens for potential conflicts and future timelines didn’t make it in. This was partly time-related, but the word count really hit me this go around too. If everything was smaller, it might have looked more like a traditional location-based adventure with goals, knowledge, and timelines for the major NPCs. But, from my point of view, high level adventurers do tend to look more like regional campaign locations, but without lack of future planning.

One thing that may have led to confusion was a major screw up with the PC level requirements. This is 7th-8th in my house rules where levels are all equal (lvl 1 PCs vs lvl 1 regions, treasure, monsters, etc.) AD&D has a system I've yet to understand. It’s from DMG p174 where a level 8 "very old" blue dragon covers 7th to 16th dungeon levels, which I take as PC levels too. So this is more a 10th-12th level adventure and right in line for stronghold play.

Ingredients:
When I saw institutionalization I couldn't pass up how this is a major element of high level play. For me, city-states and baronies are different power levels of strongholds PCs create or conquer. A likely possibility was the PCs overthrowing the beginning draconic government structure and gaining loyal citizens through trial and error from instituting their own structures. Sticking their authority in the hooks made this most of the adventure. What I was worried about was if the rest of it would be ancillary to this major element of play.

Why a dragon? I don’t know. I couldn’t answer that one. I guess because D&D players want to engage in the machinations of dealing with one at some point. He’s disrespected in the city, but wants his “treasure” back for easy control again. It's a major motivation. Plus, in the end, he's still going to cheat the PCs unless they ditch the game he's playing with them. The Lost ingredient as rulership against multiple enemy factions didn’t feel direct enough to me to qualify, so I was aiming at the initial navigation of the major NPCs and factions merging into a more traditional overland search where retaining spatial orientation is a factor.

Sslaritha is a witchdoctor per DMG p40, but retains little witchy-ness per se. A more traditional witch is likely a Druidess, but Druids, like most AD&D sub-classes, are very setting specific. This comes into never having reached a final stage where I usually focus on flavorful descriptions and names using evocative language inspired from the design - kind of how authors title a work at its end. Also Sslaritha’s a lord because she holds regional control and engages in stronghold rulership. I was thinking of playing on parthenogenesis for the gender duality I read into witchlord, but dropped it early on as a nuance taking too much time to make work.

The breeding ground was supposed to be ground because the basilisk didn’t care for doing such in water as originally attempted. The blinding of the creature was for easy handling once finally found by Sslaritha, thus waking the dragon due to its bond to it. Neither of these elements made it into the final entry. Rereading it, the timeline of the background away from the dragon's lair is off and confusing and too split apart for coherence. This demonstrates to me the need for finishing the work. What I keep handing in is some version of the in-transition second drafts and not a final draft. That is my biggest challenge at the moment. As it stands it is lacking in providing more details and coherence than my previous work and that one has many elements I still view as needing clarification.

Finally, there is a lot of weakness inherent in the scenario itself. Wicht’s questions about the sensibility of the situation and dubious background actions of its major players point out a few. There are more unmentioned. These really come from the kernel of the adventure not being hammered out enough early on. I found something that worked for me to build a long term adventure and I started on that hoping to clear up and make connections for inconsistencies later. That time never really came and its a bad strategy to start with. It comes down to motivation and balancing what I want to explore with providing readers a quality, playable adventure.

Anyways, I kind of expected to get ribbed for more monster machine madness with the basi-lizards. But I'm happy to learn I get another go around for one more entry. Thanks again.[/sblock]

 

[Pour]

Expiation
A 4thcore adventure for one dead character of Epic tier


Adventure Background
Like so many Epic heroes before him (or her), the PC has died and found himself in Naraka, the hell of atonement, a vast nexus of astral domains ruled by the death god Yama. Though a hideous and agonizing place, it is not inherently evil, and Yama is an unwaveringly fair judge of souls. He has weighed the karma of the PC in question. Found lacking, the PC has been deposited in an appropriate hell for his expiation, where he might suffer for an allotted time before eventual reincarnation.

Accompanying every soul in Naraka are two Yamaduta, or followers of Yama, a tempter looking to lure a soul away from the true path so it can be devoured, and a witness who chronicles a soul’s progress with complete impartiality.

Unlike typical expiation, the PC is subject to very special circumstances in his quest for enlightenment. His tempter is none other than Prince Jath, a powerful demon spirit and next in line to assume the throne of the rakshasa- vacant for millennium much to the relief of the heavens and the earths. He has corrupted and devoured 9,999 souls in succession and by Yama’s law needs only one more to ensure his transformation into a demon king. Then he might take his place at Yama’s left hand as chief demonic counsel.

As a result, the PC has also garnered the interest of the exarch Chitragupta, the Divine Witness who sits at the right hand of Yama and informs his lord of every soul’s karma before judgement. Not particularly benevolent, Chitragupta is compelled to aid the PC mostly out of selfishness, unwilling to share a place beside Yama.

On Bhur (the material world), Chitrajupta employs animals as his eyes and ears, and none are more cherished than his birds. It is no different in Naraka, and the witnesses of the PC’s journey are his holiest animals, blackbirds. They provide a vital clue for a discerning PC moving throughout Naraka assembling his strand of prayer beads, though there are many ways to assemble the strand and navigate Naraka.

The enlightened path interprets prayer beads as droplets off those who pray, be it blood, sweat, tears or spittle. Chitrajupta’s true thrushes try and indicate this throughout the journey, and the PC has twenty-four tries to collect four of these liquids to truly appease Yama.

However, the more materialistic and obvious solution are brass prayer beads, obtained from any number of sufferers, and most easily from the lazy rajahs. These too will get the PC to Yama’s palace for a second judgement.

The ideal scenario has the PC collecting four droplets and entering Yama’s palace, but any combination of brass beads and droplets could work, so long as four droplets are eventually collected. Alternatively, twenty brass beads could be collected, but the PC won’t like the results very much...


Hooks
Ideally, the PC will have died in a land where gods and concepts comparable to those of Hinduism exist. However, this adventure would not be out of place for a deva character in any land or circumstance, and could also extend to agnostics and those of the Primal and Psionic power sources where the afterlife is much more vaguely conceived when compared to Divine classes and their established canon.


Event 1: Temptation
The PC wakes on a floating marble platform amidst a black sea kissed by starry domains, Naraka. He’s been shaken awake by a seven-foot-tall rakshasa. Despite his menacing appearance, Jath acts much like a humble seneschal, offering frequent compliments and seemingly-sound advise, always well-spoken and polite.

It is likely understood rakshasa are evil, and a monster knowledge check will identify Jath as a demonic paragon of his kind. Regardless of whether or not the PC trusts him, and only a Hard Insight check gives any definitive sense of malice, the prince will accompany the PC throughout the journey, trying to gain his trust so that he might betray it later. Worst-case scenario, he’ll follow along invisibly to undermine the PC’s efforts whenever he exceeds his ten round limit (see below).

By Yama’s law, Jath is obligated to offer the PC a choice: endure the necessary years of suffering in accordance with his karma, or brave the road to Yama’s palace for a second judgement and the chance at either the heavens of Svarga or reincarnation upon Bhur. Attempting the path toward second judgement comes with risks, though, and Jath is quite clear that failure to reach Yama’s palace will cost the PC’s very soul.

If the PC accepts, Jath provides him with a strand of his own orange hair. He explains the PC must collect prayer beads worthy a transcendent soul, which will act as a road map across Naraka’s starry expanse, each bead illuminating a corresponding small hell in the starry expanse, and allowing passage from domain to domain until at last they reach Yama’s palace.

Along the way, they’ll be accompanied by a witness, or in this case a flock of blackbirds. The birds are friendly, and the astute PC will notice the difference between the twenty whistling thrushes and the four true thrushes with a Hard Nature check. The PC might be given a Moderate Insight check if they note their divergent behaviors once inside the small hells, as well.


Event A: If the PC refuses to chance his immortal soul to transcend Naraka, he has proven wise by Chitragupta’s estimations, but will remain unplayable in the game for however long the DM deigns (usually in-game centuries) or until he has a change of heart (suffering even in a temporary hell is still torture). This refusal does not affect Jath’s streak, though he will continue to tempt the PC (as the DM should the player) to embark on the journey over time.


Event 2: Small Hells
Upon entering a small hell, begin initiative. The PC has 10 rounds (roughly one in-game minute) to uncover a proper bead before he starts succumbing to the hell’s affects (fire, cold, the risen dead, etc.). If initiative reaches 20 rounds or he falls unconscious, the PC’s soul is forfeit, whereupon Jath devours it and the character is permanently dead.

By Yama’s law, Jath is unable to attack the PC directly, but he will cloud issues, question morality and misdirect (which, after the tenth round, might include illusions and darkness). It is in the prince’s best interests to mix truths with falsehoods, and only pick the choicest opportunities to try foiling the PC, perhaps when they’re near 20 rounds, or very low on hit points. He is reluctant to expose his true motives too early, though, and might even help the PC through one or two hells to gain his trust.

In each hell, there should be sufferers. All of them are constantly praying amidst their anguish. Some of them will be excreting some bodily fluid as mentioned above, while others will be jingling all kinds of tempting ornate beads. The material beads should be easiest to get, though still require some skill or minor combat challenge.

Each of the small hells contains a lavishly-adorned rajah set upon a jhoola (a wooden swing), with a large, brass prayer bead somewhere on their person. They are representative of the path of least resistance, but also of least effort, and even after the PC has claimed the brass bead, it requires he lounge upon the swing in order to navigate to the next hell. The collection and swinging shouldn’t take more than 3 rounds, feeling too easy and somehow wrong.

It is up to the DM how many clues to give the PC in regards to droplets versus beads, however, with twenty-four tries it’s encouraged the PC work it out for himself.

Ideas for 24 possible small hells:

The Hell of Roasting, Strangling, Boiling Oil, Ice and Hammers, Driving Nails, Endless Falling, Inescapable Drowning, Children’s Toys, Starving Beasts, Paper Slivers, Dull Flaying, Slow Dissection, Ravenous Hunger, Brittle Bones, Broken Glass, Weeping Sores, Ripened Molds, Blind Madness, a Million Miles, Unrelenting Screams, Buried Hopes, Sudden Lashes, Slipping Doom, Hopeless Healing...
​

It is possible for the PC to earn blemishes. These are representative of materialistic actions and negative karma throughout his quest, as decided by the DM. If the PC attempts to loot any of the treasures encountered throughout the dominions, if he succumbs to vice or threads a brass bead, if he kills without provocation or debases himself in some way, he’ll earn a blemish. These blemishes are cumulative and have a direct affect on the PC’s appearance (too many blemishes caused by greed might give the PC a crooked and miserly appearance, for example). They are a major catalyst for how the PC is received in Yama’s palace.

Navigating
After a bead or droplet is collected on the strand, the PC, Jath and the witnesses will be transported back onto the floating marble platform, where a new domain will appear in the sky. From there its as simple as wishing to enter. Upon the platform, it’s safe to take short rests, but not extended.


Event 3: Yama’s Palace
Whether bearing a string of four droplets or laden with brass beads, the PC is welcomed into the god of death’s halls, a magnificent palace of ivory and gold floating in the center of starry Naraka.

In the central hall, Yama holds court. He is a forty-foot titan of bruised, blue flesh, possessing four arms heavy in golden accoutrements. Five blazing red eyes to match his bloody robes and two curling tusks around which his greasy mustache is wrapped. Upon a throne of brass artifice resembling a water buffalo, a hundred white lions resting at his feet, he grants the PC a second judgement.

If the PC brought Yama four droplets on the strand, with or without accompanying brass beads, he is pleased. If the PC obtained these droplets without any blemishes, he is granted entry into Svarga or reincarnation into any race and/or class he wishes. Yama will even restore the PC’s old body if he wishes.

If the PC accumulated 10 blemishes or less, Yama is unmoved, and will offer him reincarnation as any animal that walks the earth (natural beast) or a sentence in any small hell he prefers.

If the PC accumulated 11 or more blemishes, Yama is furious and names the PC unworthy of a second judgement. The PC must defeat Jath in single combat for the right to return to the lowliest hell, or else be devoured.

If the PC brought Yama twenty brass beads or less than four droplets, he is displeased and sends the PC back to the small hells to try again or accept his sentence.


Conclusion
If the PC survived and Jath’s hopes dashed, he has made a lifelong enemy of the prince. Jath will not stop until his enemy’s soul is devoured, and might employ mortal assassins or manipulate earthly catastrophe to get him back into Naraka.

It is quite possible the PC ends up back in Naraka without Jath’s influence given the nature of 4thcore, where he is subject to new hells and the treachery of other rakshasa princes.


Ingredients
Four and Twenty Blackbirds: The agents of Chitragupta, four true thrushes and twenty whistling thrushes.

Rakshasa Prince: Prince Jath

Field of Stars: The astral realm of Naraka, navigable different lengths depending on the PC’s choice of beads. Site of Yama’s palace.

Strand of Prayer Beads: The road map to Yama’s palace and proof of the PC’s transcendent or materialistic nature.

Swingset: The rajahs' jhoola, representative of the easy and unfulfilled path.

Consequences: Depending how the strand is constructed and collected directly relates to the difficulty of the journey, as well as Yama’s second judgement.

 

[Radiating Gnome]

Round 2, Match 2: BriarMonkey vs. PourJudgement by Radgnome

In this round we've got a fairly conventional adventure (Consequences at Court - CC) stacked up against one that's a very different concept (Expiation - EX). They're both strong entries, lets see how they stack up.

[sblock]
Ingredients

Swingset - Both entries have swings -- CC uses them as a landmark, EX as a accouterment for Rajas. The Jhoola is a cool twist on the idea, turning a problem ingredient into something that feels appropriate to the game, so EX has an advantage there.

Four and Twenty Blackbirds -- I prefer the use in EX for the four-and-twenty blackbirds because it's not taken straight out of the nursery rhyme (baked in a pie). The use in CC works, but the use in EX is more interesting to me. Another Advantage EX.

Rakshasa Prince -- Both are using this ingredient very well. No advantage to anyone.

Field of Stars -- The jewel-encrusted gown, "field of stars", from CC, edges near one of my cardinal sins in Iron DM -- disposing of an ingredient by naming something unrelated -- so , a gown is not a field of stars, but we call it that, and now it is. There could also have been a pair of dancing shoes called the "Swing set". In this case, because the field of stars is based not the description of the dress, it's not quite so egregious, but to my mind it's borderline.

The use in EX is the astral setting of the whole adventure…it's satisfactory, but could have been stronger, too. I'm not going to give either an advantage for this one.

Consequences -- I have to give this one to CC. The whole adventure is written to create a situation where the PCs have choices and those choices have consequences -- a sort of balancing plane where each step shifts the position of all pieces on the board. Very cool.

Strand of Prayer Beads -- The strand of beads in CC is well used as an important dingus for the adventure, but the beads in EX are much more interactive and interesting than the beads in CC. Another advantage EX.

Overall, the ingredients seem to fit much better into EX than they do into CC, so there's a clear leader at this point, however ….

Usability

I really like the creativity that EX shows -- it's a great entry, and the way it matches ingredients together is picture perfect for Iron DM, but an adventure should also be something we can imagine using. EX read like a piece of art designed in the shape of a tool, but never intended to be used as that tool -- a sort of jeweled and decorative sword of state, more accessory than weapon.

I mean, to use this we would have to be in a situation where we're playing an RPG with a Hindu-type setting and cosmology (pretty rare), and be playing in a situation where a solo adventure for one party member makes sense -- I know that's not unheard of, but I don't think I'd ever do it with my group.

CC is a much more usable, traditional adventure, and that's a pretty important advantage.

Creativity -

Honestly, I think this is a wash. CC bit on the "consequences" idea and really lays out an adventure where the players actions and choices have consequences -- a hugely important RBDM value. I wish the ingredients were used a little better, but it's still a very creative, solid entry.

EX is also very creative, very cool, and I find the way the ingredients are matched to be excellent. I only wish some of the elements of the adventure were written to make it easier to use -- it could easily have been written as an adventure for an entire party trying to restore a deceased comrade to life, and that would at least have eliminated one of the two elements that makes it unusable.

Overall

This is a tough call. CC has solid but mostly not excellent ingredient use compared to EX's better performance there. But I think CC is the more playable, useable, serviceable adventure. I suspect this one will come down to a split vote for the judges.

For me, in the end, I'm going to have to give the use of ingredients a little more value, and give my nod to EX and Pour.

-rg
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[Wicht]

For some reason, I am having great difficulty in getting this judgment done. Within a busy schedule I have had word processing crashes (but only when typing this judgment), two unexpected funerals (the second of which is in about two hours from now) and now ENWorld is really glitchy for me. I shall submit this and hope it goes through.

[sblock]Both entries are good, some of the better I think we have seen this contest, but one stands out to me as a clear winner, in both creativity and ingredient use.

Both followed the rules, so no advantage there.

In Ingredient use, again with a possible 2 points for each ingredient (1 for using it and another 1 for using it in what I consider an excellent manner) I graded as follows:

Swingset: Neither entry really moved me here and both get the single point. I do think the use in Expiation to be much stronger but it did not seem all that integral to the adventure.

Four and Twenty Blackbirds: Expiation receives two points for the use of the blackbirds, Consequences of Court just one. The pie was too easy and it could have, honestly, been any sort of pie and served the same purpose.

Raksasha Prince: Again Expiation gets two points and Consequences one point. I like the celestial use of the Raksasha, playing up the spiritual aspect of the monster. The prince in Consequences just seemed like to much of a side villain who does not really enter into the adventure. His army yes, himself, not so much.

Field of Stars: Both entries receive only a single point here. I thought the dress was weak and the fact of the astral field of stars was not really played up much in the adventure description itself, and if not for the ingredient list I might have missed the point.

Prayer Beads: Consequences again suffers in my mind, from using the prayer beads in a way in which just about anything else could have worked just as easily. Making the construction of the prayer beads strand the basis for the adventure in Expiation works well. 2 points Expiation. 1 Point Consequences

Consequences: Here I thought both entries did a good job of incorporating the element. 2 Points each.

As far as useability, I thought both were about equal. “Expiation” suffers from a couple of problems. It lacks a cohesive middle, with the hells not being properly and succintly described. I would have preferred a brief sentence detailing each hell and the challenge therein. I am not too worried about the specific cosmological theme of the entry, being more concerned the events would either be long and drawn out, losing punch, or, once solved, be over too easy. I give it a 3 out of 6 here. “Consequences” is more traditional and probably more portable, with its multiple hooks. I do question the feasibility of some of the plot (why would the nobleman even think to promise a dress belonging to the queen?) but I think it feasible to work things out using the plot given. So 5 out of 6 for Consequences.

In Style, I have to give the edge to “Expiation.” Its a creative piece of work and I think would make a very memorable death 1 on 1 scenario. I hesitate to give it a full 6 out of 6 because I think it could have been better presented so as to include more meat in the hells. Style wise, “Consequences” could have been better presented, I think. Everything's there, but I just don't completely buy into the scenario. I'm giving 4 out of 6 for Style in “Consequences.”
Expiation is the winner in my estimation. The points are close, and both entries were good, but the ingredient use in Expiation was excellent and I really like the chance taken on presenting a different sort of scenario. In this case, I think it works, style wise, though it could be better arranged as far as useability.



“Expiation”
Followed the Rules: 6/6
Ingredient Use: 10/12
Useability: 3/6
Style: 5/6
Total: 24/30

“Consequences of Court”
Followed the Rules: 6/6
Ingredient Use: 7/12
Useability: 5/6
Style: 4/6
Total: 22/30
[/sblock]

 

[BriarMonkey]

Congrats @Pour , that's two for you.

Overall, I have to say that this has been an interesting road to travel. The time restriction is definitely a key element where I've felt the weakest. Quite often, it'll take me a good week, or more, to have all the bits I need to make an adventure I feel comfortable with - and even then, it's normally just a set of line items that gets woven together at the table.

Anymuch, everyone who's going to Gen Con, have fun and raise a pint at the Ram!

Cheers!

 

[Rune]

Round 2, Match 2: BriarMonkey vs. Pour

At this point in the tournament, I would hope to see two good entries of proportional quality in a match. Unfortunately for this match, such is not the case. One of these two entries clearly saw more polish than the other and is in an entirely different class. The other has some good ideas and is a solid adventure, but—especially in the use of ingredients—falls far short of the Iron DM ideal.

That said, we'll start with the structure and style of the adventures.

BriarMonkey's adventure has five hooks, each diverse, and each leading to a different starting point for the PCs. This is a great approach, and one I'd like to see in many a game—particularly in ones with plots as convoluted as this one. Speaking of which, the plot provides lots of opportunity for exploration, intrigue, and...well, shenanigans. There are a lot of elements, factions, and motivations to juggle here, but the end result could be quite memorable. This is a good adventure.

Pour's single hook is very specific—and, frankly, very rare. It requires that a solo player has gotten to epic levels, dies (not so hard with 4thcore, even at epic, I imagine), be none too virtuous at the time of death, probably be in a vaguely Hindu-inspired setting...you get the picture. This is not an adventure that can be placed into a campaign—it almost has to be planned around. But, if you've got all that; the hook is automatic. So...the structure of this adventure is also unconventional. At epic levels, that's probably a very good thing. The stakes are high, the tension is high, but the actual combat-potential is pretty low. It introduces its own mechanic to drive the adventure and determine success. In a way, it's more like an extended skill-challenge than a serious of encounters. At epic levels, that may be a good thing, also—especially given the probability that a dead epic PC just came out of a very tough battle. This is a creative adventure. I like it, even though—let's be honest—I'll probably never run it. Maybe I can steal ideas from it. Come to think of it, I see no particular reason the PC would actually have to be epic, or even paragon for the adventure to work...

Okay, so far, I like them both. But writing an Iron DM entry does not mean just writing a good adventure; it means using the ingredients—and doing so well. Here is where one entry outclasses the other in this match.

Swingset:

In Pour's scenario, the use of the swingset is both symbolic and transitional. The PC interacts with it to move from one hell to the next, but more importantly, the ingredient sets a specific atmosphere—a tension drawn from the juxtaposition of how out of place such an easy means of locomotion is and how perilous the circumstances truly are. Without this ingredient, the adventure would be just as playable, but the tone would change, and that's a big deal.

On the other hand, BriarMonkey provides us with the weakest form of tack-on ingredient—an incidental set-piece that might not even see interaction with the PCs. It is so insignificant, that I didn't even notice that the ingredient had been used until the third reading.

Four and Twenty Blackbirds:

Here, again, Pour's use of the ingredient is more symbolic than anything else. Like the swingset, the absence of this ingredient would likely not affect the play of the game very much. Unlike the swingset, it probably wouldn't change anything else, either.

BriarMonkey's Four and Twenty Blackbirds at least have the potential to make some difference to the game (or at least, the Pie does—what kind pie it is remains irrelevant. That's the problem; the actual ingredient is irrelevant to both entries, so the question becomes, which is better implemented?

At least, in Pour's case, the ingredient actually makes sense in the context of the adventure. The birds are messenger/observers. In the case of BriarMonkey's scenario, there have to be dozens of better ways to hide the prayer beads than baking them in a pie? What happens if someone wants to eat the pie? What happens if events take too long to transpire, and the pie goes bad? What happens if an orc wanders by and steals the pie? Here's a thought—just bury the beads in the ground. Classic.

Rakshasa Prince:

BriarMonkey's Prince is a good villain, with interesting schemes (and the potential to build upon them), but the fact that it is a prince is only mildly relevant. The game would work if it were any power-player. The fact that it is a Rakshasa is negligible. It could be anything, really, and the game would not suffer for it. One way to get around this is through good character-development—the Rakshasa Prince's Rakshasa-ness is not important to the plot, but is important to the character—but we don't have such development, here.

In contrast, Pour's Rakshasa Prince is critical. It is very important that he is a Prince for the plot. It is quite relevant that he is a Rakshasa, given the scenario, and it is important to his character that he be both. Well done.

Field of Stars:

BriarMonkey's Field of Stars boils down to a McGuffin—and it isn't even really a field of stars. There are many possible ways to interpret an ingredient as vague as this, (perhaps a field where many meteorites have fallen, or a contest in which entertainers are systematically eliminated from consideration), but this use is just weak. It's a shiny dress.

Pour's Field of Stars is much more than that; it is the setting for the whole adventure. And what an evocative setting it is!

Consequences:

This is one those thematic ingredients that I love so much, one with real possibilities for significant impact in a game.

Pour's adventure is all about consequences—meaningful consequences of actions the PC has taken in the past and in the course of this scenario. It is a driving force of the game. It is the game. He has a mechanic built around it that serves as the spine of the adventure. I say again, well, done!

But wait! What's this? BriarMonkey's use of the ingredient is more subtle, but, even more fundamental to the play of his adventure! We are given a group of playing pieces, a handful of hooks (to determine a starting place) and a directive: Go. Interact. Stir things up! Outstanding! BriarMonkey wins this category over Pour's very good thematic use of the ingredient.

Strand of Prayer Beads:

Alas, it seems that BriarMonkey spent all of his time on one ingredient. In his scenario this ingredient serves as just another McGuffin. It helps twist the plot up, a bit, but that's about it. It could have been anything, really.

In Pour's scenario, the Prayer Beads are significant. Not only are they symbolic (as prayer beads ought to be), they are inherently tied to the driving mechanic behind the adventure. They are essential.

Spoiler

I'm placing this portion of the judgment in spoiler tags, but, frankly, there is no surprise, here. Pour's Expiation uses almost every single ingredient better than its competitor, BriarMonkey's Consequences of Court. The one ingredient that BriarMonkey uses exceedingly well—really, based the entire adventure on—is matched by a good use by Pour, as well. BriarMonkey's adventure looks like a lot of fun to play, and, really, is better designed as an adventure, but suffers too much from having too little time devoted to the ingredients. Pour's adventure might be impossible to implement in most campaigns, but, taken within its own context, looks fun and is far superior as an Iron DM entry.

My vote is for Pour's Expiation. One last note for BriarMonkey. Man, you have some chops. If you just set aside a little more time to work on your ingredients, you will be producing some strong entries. Seriously.

 

[Rune]

Round 2, Match 2: BriarMonkey vs. Pour

[sblock=Summary of Judgments]By a unanimous decision, [MENTION=59411]Pour[/MENTION] advances to face [MENTION=1830]Waylander the Slayer[/MENTION] for the title of Iron DM 2011.

[MENTION=95387]BriarMonkey[/MENTION] will face [MENTION=3192]howandwhy99[/MENTION] to determine the 3rd place competitor.[/sblock]