Judgement for Round 1, Match 3: MortalPlague vs. tglassy
I always enjoy when a match produces two entries that would dovetail nicely with each other. Such is the case with these, I think. It's not as uncommon as you might think, given the shared set of ingredients. It is, however, incidental. Fun, but incidental.
The adventures:
"Legacy" has a lot going for it, even while having some questionable, if not downright troubling, flaws. To begin with, I can't figure out why Barras even needs the Falling Sky. What does he get out of it? I haven't got a clue.
Then there's the infernal book. I realy like the role it plays in the adventure, but that assumes buy-in from the PCs, which I doubt will happen. As soon as the DM says, " She hands you a tome written with infernal scr–" just about every party ever is going to say, "Nope!"
If that's going to be the hook, the DM is going to need a way around it.
Also, a large chunk of this adventure assumes the PCs won't have access to some other means of ingress (like flight – that's a thing!). If they bypass the runes and kill Solis without questioning him, they may never know what's really going on.
After that, though, once the PCs get inside the base, the adventure opens up to allow for different directions, if not much more actual adventuring. The trek to Barras (if it happens at all) could use a little fleshing out, but all-in-all, things have gotten really interesting by this point.
It would be nice to have a little bit of direction for determining the fallout from the various options. If the ice demon is summoned and killed, how do Barras and the Archdevil respond? If the PCs just leave Solis to his misery, what happens then? If they kill Barras, what happens? Does Solis, having found his redemption, disband the Falling Sky or become an effective leader and take them in a new direction?
I want to have unanswered questions at the end of an adventure to build future adventures on. But I need some sort of closure, and I'm not sure the adventure, as written, fully delivers.
However, the core of the adventure really does deliver. If the PCs fall for it, I really like the idea of tricking them into completing the ritual (a suitably devilish scheme). Even if they don't, it pays off, unless they abandon the mission altogether.
Then they get to offer Solis what he says he wants (death – a decision with immediate consequences) or a chance at what he really wants (redemption). That's satisfying stuff, and provides some of the closure I previously suggested was lacking.
In the opposite corner, "To Catch a Fallen Star" ("Star") has the pieces of a good adventure and, indeed, the basic structure is pretty solid. It's got a good variety of scenarios and comes to an exciting finish with a tight time-limit. Its stakes are clear. It looks pretty good.
I'm never clear enough about the NPCs' motivations to feel as if they can be used to full effect, however. Of the two that are clear (the Lich and Lorcan), only one actually appears in the adventure. Fortunately, he is the villain.
The other NPCs feel like they could really add to the adventure, if only there were more to them.
What reason does Mayor Knisty have for hiding his head in the sand? Is he playing a Wormtongue role here, or does he have other reasons for being willfully oblivious?
Has Ms. Prylia noticed something dark in her adopted son, or is she oblivious, too? How did she come to adopt him in the first place?
And how does the beggar woman know any of the things she speaks of? Is she Lorcan's mother? Was she experimented on?
Answering these questions would make the adventure far more rich and it feels like a great opportunity was missed.
And then there's the anticlimactic end of Lorcan if the PCs fail to stop him in time. What could possibly be gained by ending the adventure that way? Who is going to find that to be a satisfying conclusion?
Still, it's a solid adventure, with no glaring flaws (except that possible ending scenario). The same cannot be said of "Legacy," despite the abundance of intriguing opportunities offered in the latter.
If the use of ingredients didn't matter, that would decide the match, but they do, so let's take a look:
Ingredients:
Feckless Leader. The feckless leader in "Star," the Mayor, seems somewhat incidental, at best. If we knew more about his motivations, this ingredient could be far greater, but, as is, I'm not sure what it adds to the adventure.
In contrast, Solis in "Legacy" really is the crux of the adventure. I'm not sure how important it is that he be either a leader, or a feckless one (as opposed to any other individual Barras wants to replace), but that's only because I don't understand how the Falling Sky is important to the adventure. It is unquestionable that his nature as a feckless leader is central to the action.
Sea Change. For those who don't know, a sea change refers to an unignorable, likely fundamental transformation, generally one that changes the status quo. I'd also accept some sort of clever word-play with the component words.
In "Star," the nearest I can find is the transformation into the Lich, but that happens well before the adventure begins. It can't be the restarting of the experiments, because it's really just a continuation of something that was happening before. If it's just the consequence of finishing the adventure – all adventures do that (or should)!
In "Legacy," we can't even point to the transformation into Lichdom, as that doesn't even get mentioned in the backstory. The likely outcome of the PCs' actions will result in such a change, but, as in "Star," this is a natural consequence of completing the adventure. Fortunately, the sea change is actually a goal of the villains, so it is not just something the PCs can bring about – it is also something the may (likely?) actively work against. (And, as a bonus, this ties the ingredient nicely into the feckless leader). Therein lies the difference.
Cold Calculation. With the introduction of an Archdevil of Cold and an ice devil, things looked promising for this ingredient in "Legacy," but I'm not seeing where any calculation (unfeeling, literally cold, or otherwise) plays any role in this adventure. Perhaps the (unlikely?) decision to grant Solis's request for death (that then leads to the summoning of an ice devil) is meant to apply, but it seems a stretch.
I don't really see anything in "Star," either, though. If it is meant to apply to the experiments on the villagers, that would work, if only it didn't all happen off-screen. I don't think I can give this one to either entry.
Son of a Lich. Not surprisingly, this ingredient features as the central figure in both entries. As a villain in "Star," Lorcan has reasonably sound motivations, a fleshed-out backstory, and a reason why it matters that he is the son of a lich.
"Legacy" has a (potentially) more interesting character in this role, but the fact that he is the son of a lich is inconsequential. He could be any relation to Barras (or none, at all) without affecting the adventure, and Barras doesn't have any explicit reason called out for being a lich, either! The character has a good role in the adventure, but the ingredient does not.
Infernal Rubric. While the Book of Vile Darkness is not explicitly infernal in origin, given the nature of the book, I'll give it to "Star." Going with the "teacher's manual" definition of rubric, it's hard to get more wicked than that particular tome! The reveal is a nice little twist at the end, too. Unfortunately, the book, itself, amounts to nothing more than a macguffin during the adventure – and not even one the PCs are going to encounter until it's all done with!
Meanwhile, the clearly and necessarily infernal set of instructions that appears in "Legacy" is something the PCs actively use to move things forward (assuming the DM can find a way to convince them to do so). Likely, this ingredient was meant to be tied in with the "cold calculation" ingredient, which would have strengthened both, but given that that ingredient falls short, the link does, too. Regardless, this is certainly the strongest ingredient in "Legacy," and stands above its use in "Star."
Falling Sky. Regrettably, falling sky is used glaringly poorly in "Legacy." Naming a band of raiders "Falling Sky" after their preferred tactics is tenuous at best. Why not name them "Death from Above?" Or "Wyvern Riders?" Or anything, really? That's the problem with just using an ingredient as a name. Names almost always could be something else. Added to that, the fact that the raiders need to be airborne is questionable, anyway. Their base needs to be mostly inaccessible for the adventure to work, but how did they find the base, or train all of the wyverns, anyway? Without some explanations, it strains credulity, somewhat.
Worse, as I mentioned earlier, there is never any indication why they exist, in the first place. What does Barras get out of sending wyvern riders to burn fields and raid caravans? Does he need the resources? Why? Does he want to spread terror? Again, why? As it happens, this ingredient underscores one of the major problems I have with Barras as a villain. We know what Barras wants to happen during the adventure, but why?
"Star" is somewhat disappointing with this ingredient, too. The start is promising, and it hangs over the whole adventure till the very end. But it does so as an unspoken bit of scenery, faded into the background. With a little detail, we could have an ominous backdrop (and might have a sense of why a falling star seems like a falling sky). What a waisted opportunity. Still, even if the ingredient appeared nowhere in the entry, it would still be better than the one in "Legacy."
Conclusion:
So, here we are with the ingredient comparison at 3:2, again. This time, the stronger adventure has the weakest set of ingredients, which means I have to weigh the degree of variance between the two entries in each of those two areas against each other.
As far as the the adventures go, "Star" is a lot more solid than the other. I believe "Legacy" has the potential to be truly special, but not without adjusting for its problem areas.
On the other hand, even though "Legacy" only has one better ingredient than "Star," the quality of use of those ingredients is generally far superior. Can that outweigh a less-inspiring, but nearly flawless entry's edge? Normally, I would say yes.
This time, I come back to "falling sky." My issues with it bring me back, full circle, to the adventure. And that's where I think I have to make my decision.
I want you to know, MortalPlague, that I'm torn about this. Having lost my fair share of Round 1 matches, I'm sure this stings a bit, especially given how close it was. Your adventure doesn't have more problems than most – and they certainly aren't unfixable. I really want to give it a run, in fact.
But tglassy's was just more sound in this match and, thus, the newcomer with the 675 word-limit takes the upset over 2014's IRON DM.
tglassy advances to Round 2.
Normally, I'd try to give the outgoing contestant some bit of constructive insight tailored to their style, but you, of course, already have a good handle on things, MortalPlague. I've no doubt you'll come out swinging the next time around.
