IRON DM 2017 Tournament

[Iron Sky]

IronDM Round 2, Match 2

Deep Crude

Harbinger
Crude Map
Convergence of Clouds
Fatal Flaw
Compromised Position
Fairy Tale
Loaded Dice

The first adventure in a modern/near-future campaign.

The players are merc “problem solvers” and not yet a team.

You are all lounging in the finest hotel lobby bathroom in New York City, trying awkwardly to look busy. Maybe the pay for this job was too good to be true. Several other individuals are doing – and probably thinking – the same.

Describe all the player characters without saying who is who, mixing in a hard-looking, heavy-browed man in a long coat.

The Client walks in exactly on time, motioning for his bodyguards to stay outside. Isaiah Daniel Hann II.: young for a billionaire, clean cut in a custom-tailored Enzo suit that matches his ebony nail polish.

He stands in the center of the bathroom, taking everyone in nervously. "I'm glad you all could make it. Sorry for the meeting place; the joys of the paparazzi.”

He flops glossy magazines down. The latest TIME Magazine proclaims 2 Isaiah: The Prophet of New Oil above Isaiah wearing biblical robes and holding up a laptop like a stone tablet. A second is OUT headed with The Bi Billionaire: Crude to Refined over Isaiah astride an oil barrel in a white suit, wearing a rainbow of gem-studded rings.

“I'm sure you understand that what I say is confidential. My lawyers are on retainer, speed dial, and over for cocktails regularly in case you forget. That said, there's not much time so I'll just summarize the essentials. I contacted you individually, but I'm assembling a team. The 'what for' takes a bit to tell and is... personal.

“I came out accidentally when my father caught me and my boyfriend Hadrian, um, 'occupied' in the hot tub three months ago. The shock triggered the heart attack that killed him – or rather the advanced congenital aortic valve stenosis they found did. He'd have disowned me if he'd lived, but instead I inherited control of Intercontinental Reserves and #34 on Forbes' richest billionaires ranking.

“Intercontinental was already struggling and when Father died, stocks tanked. Untried CEO, peak oil in the rear-view, discovery rate plummeting; a tough hand. But I had an ace up my sleeve: Hadrian, as brilliant as he is beautiful.

“When we were buddies in college, we drove to Atlantic City together, raked it in at the craps tables with these dice he'd made and palmed in when he was up to roll. Programmable somehow, turned them off when the casinos kicked us out – on suspicion since they couldn't prove anything. Didn't even know he was gay until a couple of goons called us 'cheating faggots' after tossing us. He just said 'I prefer “sharping fairies”' and kissed me hard. Took the beating of our lives and I found the love-of-my-life in process.

“Anyway, he'd told me about this 'deep AI' he'd built at MIT and thought he had an idea to apply it to petroleum geology, then explained with gibberish about 'fuzzy data', 'weight decay', 'emergence', 'inverse problems', 'backpropagation”... yeah. He's the smartest person I've ever met – and I went to Harvard – so I believed him utterly.

“When I proposed it, the board laughed and asked me if I had some magic beans for sale too. In response, I took a position with the entirety of my inheritance shorting oil. For the non-market inclined, that means I bet every one of my billions that we'd increase world supply enough to lower the price. The board – and the press – sat up and took interest.

“I gave Hadrian an unlimited budget, spent millions on computation time and storage. To get enough we used all the major cloud vendors at once: Azure, AWS, Salesforce, HPE, SAP, IBM – you name it – running his 'Concrudence' AI's algorithms, massively parallel.

“Six weeks later, Hadrian emailed me a map of world oil reserves.

“I've seen dozens of them so I didn't get what the big deal was.

“'Concrudence did it.' 'Did what? We already knew all that.' 'No, it invented it. On its own. From nothing.'

“Then I got it: Concrudence worked like I promised the world it would! I felt the energy future – and futures – of the whole world shifting in my hands.

“So we knew it could find what we already knew about, just needed to set it loose to discover what we didn't.

“That was two weeks ago. Two days ago, Hadrian stops giving me updates or... anything. Yesterday I get an ominous email that just says 'Ave prophetam, vivat Caesar' with a picture of us. Not only am I worried about him, but I have billions at jeopardy if he doesn't come through. Here's where you come in: I have my own security, but I need you to fly to Washington to ensure Hadrian is safe. My jet leaves in an hour. Who's going to be on it?

At this point the hard man in the coat produces a knife and leaps to gut Isaiah. Isaiah's security burst in and overzealously kill the assassin whether the PCs have him subdued or not.

The man has no identification and burned-off fingerprints, his phone history cleared except for Isaiah's hiring email and a picture of Isaiah.

Isaiah is shaken, but thankful for any PC aid and even more insistent about Hadrian's protection.

Heading to Hadrian's house after arrival in Washington they find him lying in a pool of blood near a smoldering server rack, the house ransacked. Several thugs loom over Hadrian.

Queue firefight.

The hitmen flee if losing which may result in a car chase. If the PCs flee, the are chased with a similar result. The thugs are Asian, with Chinese prison tattoos, pictures of Hadrian with address, and no other ID. If captured even torture won't budge them.

They return to find Hadrian barely alive.

He clutches at a PC and gasps out: “Didn't have enough inputs... used clouds to... hacked satellites... government server farms... finally enough... fed Concrudence... thought they couldn't track... someone did... Concrudence perfect... my weakness... hubris... killed me... too many to get away with it all... so close to fin-... only tri-... only tri-... Isaiah... love... sorry... remember... Atlant-... City...”

As he dies he thrusts something into the PC's hands – a pair of bloody dice.

Calling Isaiah: anguish and anger. “His last words! Falling in love in Atlantic City!”

Isaiah pushes them to find whatever of the map they can so Hadrian's death has some meaning. More cynical players will note that his billions are backing a fantasy unless they can find something.

Distantly approaching police sirens and tight time/action management add tension while searching for clues:
• The computer equipment is trashed – rigged to self-destruct.
• Books on craps, programming, AI pack the shelves.
• Old map printouts at various levels of refinement lay scattered. Most have GPS coordinates printed or scribbled on them.
• Most prototype maps have three equidistant points that converge more and more on subsequently dated maps until they meet at a single point.
• Hadrian's tattoo: Alea iacta est.
• The dice results don't seem entirely random if rolled, but aren't fixed either.

Solution: the dice are programmed, each roll adding up to one digit of a 4-digit GPS coordinate per rol. They cycle through 9 GPS locations(72 rolls) then repeat. They form three equidistant points from each of the three actual locations due to Concrudence not completely finishing.

The final GPS locations map out to Antarctica, the Congo, and Kazakhstan.

Isaiah dispatches company geologists to travel with the PCs to the coordinates for confirmation, ordering the PCs to keep the final destinations need-to-know in his increasing paranoia.

In various countries, the PCs face an array of difficulties and dangers:
• Extremes of heat, cold, elevation, and weather.
• Diseases, poisonous vermin and plant life.
• War zones, brutal regimes, untamed wilds.
• Travel hazards/breakdowns/sabotage.
• A variety of global intelligence agents attempting to kill or capture them to learn what data Hadrian “stole”.
• One of the geologists attempting to steal or destroy any data.
• Corrupt/suspicious/hostile local officials, warlords, rebels, criminals.
• A dogged reporter trying to get the story out while they try to keep it on the down-low.

If the PCs figured out the GPS locations, but not that they are approximations, they will be hundreds of miles off in some of the most dangerous and/or unstable regions in the world. A few such trips should bump them towards figuring out the corrected coordinates.

When the PCs reach the actual three locations, massive reservoirs with tens- to hundreds-of-millions of barrels of light, sweet crude are discovered.

If they succeeded, Isaiah uses his regained (and vastly expanded) wealth to reward them handsomely and buy off the various governments pursuing them. They have a major ally/employer for the rest of the campaign.

If they failed, Isaiah loses everything and begs them for protection. The campaign likely becomes about finding what exactly Hadrian hacked into and/or being hunted by major powers.

 

[Gradine]

Dreams in the Clouds
A 5e Eberron adventure for mid-level explorers

Harbinger
Crude Map
Convergence of Clouds
Fatal Flaw
Compromised Position
Fairy Tale
Loaded Dice

Hook
A mysterious traveler carries a map for sale, claiming it leads to a motherlode of dragonshards. However, he has been refusing to sell the map directly to House Tharashk’s prospectors, only offering it to groups of experienced adventurers and explorers. The PCs might purchase the map on their own, or a Tharashk representative might hire the PCs to buy the map and scout out the location themselves, offering them the seed money for the map and a cut of any potential profits.

The traveler is an eladrin agent of the Prince of Sweet Dreams, disguised as an Aereni Elf. He insists that those who claim the map will reap a great reward of dragonshards, and this is the truth. The map is well-detailed, but does not lead directly to any motherlode. Adventurers who follow the path described find themselves unwittingly passing through the barrier to the fey plane of Thelanis, in the Expanse of Reveries.

Expanse of Reveries
The Expanse is a realm of eternal dusk, inhabited primarily by woodland animals and Eladrin. Stars twinkle brightly in the fair skies, and almost seem to move and shine to form various shapes and constellations. Thirteen moons shine through night sky. All creatures, even elves, can sleep and dream within the Expanse.

The map changes within the Expanse. Gone are the well-detailed elevations, replaced instead with what appears to be a child’s drawing of trees, hills, and rivers. The name “The Expanse of Reveries” is written at the top in a flourished, if somewhat crude, font. Three other features stand out: a trio of massive soaring redwoods (which can be spotted in the distance) labeled the Slumber Spires; beyond that a crystalline palace labeled the Somnolent Citadel, and a dark cloud (which can also be spotted far in the distance) labeled Gathering Storm. Faint thunder can be heard from that cloud, and as time passes it grows larger and closer to the Spires and Citadel, changes which also reflect on the map.

The Expanse operates under dream logic. The gorgeous landscape looks like a painting, and in fact close examination of plants or flowers reveals what look like brush strokes. Locations may change suddenly, making retracing one’s steps impossible. One can arrive at a destination simply by wishing it, so travel is (or at least feels) quite short.

Slumber Spires
The Slumber Spires are home to mostly eladrin, but other fey creatures as well. The vast majority of them are asleep, drifting slowly through the air around the spires. Some appear to be having a fitful rest, and there is concern among the awake regarding the dark cloud in the distance. These fey pay homage to the Prince of Sweet Dreams and the Lady of Fantasy, who reside within the Somnolent Citadel.

Somnolent Citadel
The Citadel is home to the Prince of Sweet Dreams and the Lady of Fantasy, archfey and the rulers of this realm. The Lady always sleeps, and the Prince is always awake, providing sweet dreams to the sleepers of this land (any creature who completes a Long Rest and sleeps has wonderful dreams, and awakes with Inspiration). The Prince has been seeking adventurers to explore the approaching dark cloud, which he fears will bring a terrible storm. The distant thunder is already causing the Lady to stir in her slumber. The Prince explains that this realm is a creation of the Lady, who has dreamed the Expanse and most of its inhabitants into existence. If the storm reaches the Citadel, the Lady will awaken, the dream will end, and the Expanse and everyone within it will cease to exist. The Prince promises a great reward, as well as safe passage back to Eberron, to any adventurers who offer to help save the Expanse.

Gathering Storm
More dark clouds roll in from the distance, merging with the Gathering Storm as the storm itself continues to grow in intensity, the rain growing heavier, the lightning and thunder more frequent. In fact, one can hear thunder without lightning, and what almost sounds like loud, deep laughter from high above. Adventurers who desire to find a means to explore the clouds above will find a herd of tame griffons grazing nearby, willing and able to fly them above. A herd of manticores attack any riders who approach the cloud.

Crystal Keep
Atop the cloud is a massive floating fortress known as the Crystal Keep. While the keep itself is made of stone, it is adorned on every wall and tower with gleaming crystals the PCs should recognize as dragonshards of every type. The Keep is home to Duke Goffroc, the leader of a community of cloud giants who have been trapped in Thelanis since before the fall of the Giants of Xen’Drik. The giants have not aged, and have not even really noted the passage of time. As far as they are aware, they are still in Xen’Drik, at the height of their empire. They will refuse to believe anything otherwise.

Goffroc has called a gathering of other cloud giants, who have been arriving one-by-one on solid cloud transports. The gathering is a festival of sorts, with feasting and song and dancing (quite loudly), but the highlight for these giants are games of chance. In particular, the Duke himself has been engaged in a game of dice with Baron Zeckran, and the pot has grown quite large, large enough to either ruin Zeckran with a loss, or potentially challenge Goffroc for leadership with a win. In particular, Zeckran is angling for Goffroc’s Eye of Dragons, a Syberis dragonshard roughly the size of a halfling child, embedded in Goffroc’s golden, gem-studded mask. It is the symbol of his wealth and claim to leadership. The shard itself would be worth a small fortune back in Eberron, to say nothing of the mask itself.

The giants are accustomed to ignoring smallfolk, and the Drow servants are extremely flustered with all of the activity, and may be willing to refuse to raise an alarm if the PCs promise to help with a few mundane tasks. If the giants notice the PCs they will demand tribute, in the form of gems, jewelry, precious metals or dragonshards, but will not be hostile unless tribute is refused, or they are caught stealing.

Goffroc and Zeckran have been playing a game of dragondice (constructed from the bodies of modrons) that has gone on for three days. Zeckran’s dice are loaded, weighted so that he always rolls high. Goffroc has been playing fair and square, but the nature of the Expanse of Reveries has meant that he has always rolled exactly what he’s needed when he’s needed it. They alternate between play and rest every hour.

Both giants seek to enlist the aid of the PCs in private once they become aware of them, and both will offer a horde of dragonshards and a promise to leave the Expanse in exchange for such help. Goffroc is convinced Zeckran is cheating; Zeckran wants help beating Goffroc, or failing that, stealing the Eye for him. As long as the game continues, however, the storm continues to grow and approach the Citadel.

Resolution
There are numerous ways to resolve the giants’ game:

• Revealing that Zeckran has been cheating will cause him to forfeit the game and his share of the stash, and earn him the scorn of his comrades (moreso for getting caught than for cheating).
• Zeckran has also been sleeping with Goffroc’s wife Aughra, and can be caught in the act. Revealing to Goffroc that Aughra is cheating on him will cause him to grow despondent, and lose the dice game on his next throw.
• Revealing that it is Zeckran who has been sleeping with her will cause Goffric to fly into a rage and attack him, killing him easily without interference. Goffroc will then kick everyone out and float away in his keep, causing the storm to disperse.
• PCs who attempt to steal the Eye of Dragons will note that it contains a large gash on its back where it had been inset into Goffroc’s mask. This imperfection in Goffroc’s crown jewel will cause a major scandal (so much so that Zeckran will insist the PCs return the Eye so he can reveal it himself); the crystal’s perfection is the symbol of Goffroc’s power. If revealed, the festival will descend into chaos as the giants fight over leadership. Goffroc will likely be the first to fall. Those giants who survive the melee will flee to gather strength and allies, and the newly liberated Drow will promise to steer the Keep far away from where anyone will find it.

The Prince will grant each adventurer his Boon of Sweet Dreams (for 30 days, gain Inspiration from every long rest) and puts the party to sleep. They awake back in Eberron. The map changes again; it’s now a gorgeous drawing of the Expanse; a keep on the clouds overlooking a crystalline citadel and three tall feyspires.

 

[Rune]

Round 2, Match 1: Deuce Traveler vs. tglassy

I want to start out by saying that I really like both of these adventures. They set different tones and, thus, different expectations of the players, but they both have some very satisfying moral dilemmas for the players to grapple with. I'll get back to this in a bit.

First, the ingredients:

Mass Hysteria. "Dale's Reckoning" ("Dale") introduces this ingredient mostly as a consequence of failure on the PCs part (or failure to act, at all). As such, it is tied up in the stakes of the adventure. And, as such, this is a strong use of the ingredient.

On the other hand, "Quarantine" gets pretty clever with it – presenting both the effects of the plague and the response to it. Throwing out different versions of an ingredient in an entry to see what sticks runs the risk of diluting its significance. That isn't really what's happening here, though. It's more like two sides of the same coin; they're pretty much all about the disease. In that role, they are present throughout the whole adventure. Always looming, always directly relevant to the PCs. This isn't just a strong use; it's exceptional.

Dragon Scales. Alas, these appear to be naught more than macguffins in both entries. Neither version needed to be dragon scales to fulfill their roles in the adventure. "Quarantine" gives us some lore to try to explain it, but the lore is no more relevant than the ingredient.

Violent Solution. This is another one where "Quarantine" gives us more than one variation of the ingredient. Both the governmental solution and Raynor's solution to the plague-problem have certainly been violent (if ineffectual). One of the solutions presented to the PCs (slaying a dragon) is also violent.

Here, the recurrences serve to echo an overarching theme. Significantly, the PCs can take a cue from the actions of the government and of Raynor and choose their course accordingly (although, unlike those others, the PCs actually have a chance of success with the violent option). All of this is directly relevant to the action of the adventure – and the PCs' role therein. I am inclined to view this ingredient favorably.

"Dale" doesn't use the ingredient to hang a theme on, but it is just as potent. The central decision that the PCs must face – the one that affects the outcome of the adventure more than any other – is whether or not they choose to kill the dire bear. Strong.

Talking Animals. This is obviously weaker in "Quarantine" than in "Dale." Significantly so. In the former, the animals don't even actually talk. In the latter, every single NPC except the Archdruid is a talking animal.

Last Laugh l read these entries multiple times. Whenever an entry fails to include an ingredient, I end up expending a lot of extra energy trying to see if I've missed something very subtle somewhere. When my search is ultimately fruitless, my frustration is compounded. I can find no last laugh (metaphorical or otherwise) in "Dale."

Meanwhile, as the end stage of the disease in "Quarantine," this ingredient adds color, although not much more to the adventure. At least it's there, though.

Mission of Mercy. "Dale" presents us with Dale's mission, merciful because it is penance in place of execution. Adding him to the party is sure to complicate their efforts in fun ways. But, ultimately, the mercy component doesn't really matter.

"Quarantine" hands the mission over to the PCs (and, ironically, offers a possible violent solution for it). This is the stronger of the two.

Wandering Monster. The wandering monster in "Quarantine" is functional. It's relevance is limited by it's nature, but, as a hook, it's pretty good. I'll say more about the adventures' hooks, later.

In "Dale," we get a wanderer who is no monster (Dale) and a (temporary?) monster whose wandering is all done before the adventure begins. It seems to me that there was an opportunity to explore a theme buried in there, somewhere. Unfortunately, however, the ingredient doesn't quite work as presented.

On the usage of the individual ingredients, "Quarantine" stands somewhat firmer than "Dale." There's more to it than that, but we'll return to the subject after discussing...

The adventures: As I said at the outset, both of these adventures look good. More importantly, they both look fun! But "Dale" raises some fundamental questions that threaten to undermine the foundation of the adventure.

And they all, interestingly enough, revolve around the Archdruid. I'll start with the mechanical questions. I recognize and accept that 5th edition D&D doesn't care if its NPCs follow the same rules as the PCs when it comes to their construction. But when the PCs are confronted with a druid who can cast while wild-shaped, they are definitely going to notice and they are going to wonder how. And the adventure doesn't answer that question. That's a problem.

Likewise, how the scales were created – and how they do what they do. The scales, collectively, amount to an artifact and this makes the creator seem even more powerful. Is he really a deity? If so, how does killing him factor into things? And, oh yeah, what happens to the dire bear if it is reduced to 0 hp? Does it change into another animal after reverting to normal, like a level 20 moon druid would? Each time they reduce it to 0 hp?

That could make for a really cool (and very challenging) encounter, but some guidance is needed.

Then there's the fundamental flaw in the Archdruid's original plan. I get the desire to provide a means of keeping future generations Awakened, but why not just teach his first batch to be druids and let them do further awakenings on there own? Surely setting aside a store of 1000 gp agates for spell components would be easier than creating and protecting the scales? And they would be far easier to replenish, too!

Okay, the animals might have difficulty with the verbal and somatic components, but, then again, the dire bear didn't seem to have trouble with them.

Oh well. There's still a lot of goodness there.

I did want to briefly talk about adventure hooks. On the surface, the hooks presented in both adventures are simple and decent enough. "Quarantine" has something deeper, though – when the players hear about (or witness) the giggling ogre, they are bound to get hooked by one of the most potent motivators there is: simple curiosity.

Added to this, the different layers of challenges that the PCs will have to negotiate make for a far richer adventure than its length might otherwise suggest.

I don't mean to imply that "Dale" is overly simple. It pretty directly gets to the climax, but that climax has enough going on – mystery, a moral dilemma, and a pretty (or, possibly very, depending on the answers to some of the questions raised earlier) challenging combat. This is all very satisfying and the varied possible outcomes that stem directly from the PCs' actions just make it more so.

That's the one area of the adventure where "Quarantine" falls somewhat short. It doesn't really present any explicit outcomes. Instead, it gives us some situations and lets us infer the outcomes based on what the PCs deal with – and how. We are given the stakes of various failures, in the guise of goals for success, but little is said of the lose threads that might result – particularly regarding the PCs' relationships with the various factions and NPCs in the adventure. This sandboxy set-up fits my style of DMing well enough, but explicit suggestions would be better. Even so, it is a really solid adventure, through-and-through.

And there's one more thing that helps with that: the ingredients. Specifically, how well they are woven together to create the fabric of the adventure itself. I've not said much in this tournament about this because, frankly, it hasn't yet been in evidence well enough to make comparisons, but an IRON DM entry should strive to make every single ingredient as relevant to each other and the adventure as they are to the PCs. The best entries come close. "Quarantine" is one of these.

Let's take a look:

Mass ysteria is woven throughout the whole and, consequently, is directly tied in to all of the other ingredients. Violent solution is directly tied in with all but the wandering monster, last laugh, and mission of mercy. Talking animals with mass hysteria, last laugh, and wandering monster. Last laugh with all but violent solution. Mission of mercy with all but talking animals. Wandering monster with all but violent solution and dragon scales. Dragon scales with all but talking animals and wandering monsters.

Even the ones that aren't directly woven together are tangentially related. That's a tapestry!

A good weave like this goes a long way toward mitigating those poorly-used individual ingredients.

tglassy, you appear to have an intuitive knack for this. The speed with which you are able to put up a quality, competitive entry is impressive. That speed may have bitten you this time around, though. The later rounds in an IRON DM tournament demand polish from their entrants and your entry could have benefited from it. That said, I don't think I have any other useful advice for you; you're already good.

Of course, you might not have beaten Deuce Traveler, anyway. This entry is one of his most solid, and that's saying a lot!

Deuce Traveler advances to the championship round. Yet again.

 

[tglassy]

I need to ask for clarification, Rune. At the end of your review, you mention how all of Deuce Traveler’s ingredients are woven together like a tapestry. You used that as the reason he won, and then reviewed each of his ingredients as to how they related to each other. But you didn’t do the same for my entry, nor did you explain how my ingredients lacked the quality his did, which is what that statement insinuated.

I feel I wove my ingredients together very well, and am confused as to how I did not do so as well as he. Could you show me where your thought process was, since you didn’t go into it in your review? I’m not necessarily arguing with the result, but I can’t follow the thought process that led you to that result. Thanks!


Sent from my iPad using EN World

 

[Deuce Traveler]

Thanks! I'll admit that after reading [MENTION=6855204]tglassy[/MENTION] 's entry I knew it would be close. I wouldn't have been surprised if it went the other way, especially since I knew the dragon scales part of my entry was a pretty weak link. I just couldn't find a way to make it stronger. I actually thought about a government representative known for his signature dragon scale armor to be more a part of this, but that didn't really improve its usage. I also thought about making a dragon conspiracy against the town, but I'm not sure it would have made the dragon scales more of a mcguffin. Ultimately, I connected the ingredient as best I could have and moved on, but I have a suspicion that if tglassy could have found a way to incorporate his use just a bit better, I would have been knocked off and he would have moved on, especially since his talking animals ingredient was so much better used than mine. Either way, I'll take a bow to him. He had me sweating.

 

[Rune]

I need to ask for clarification, Rune. At the end of your review, you mention how all of Deuce Traveler’s ingredients are woven together like a tapestry. You used that as the reason he won, and then reviewed each of his ingredients as to how they related to each other. But you didn’t do the same for my entry, nor did you explain how my ingredients lacked the quality his did, which is what that statement insinuated.

I feel I wove my ingredients together very well, and am confused as to how I did not do so as well as he. Could you show me where your thought process was, since you didn’t go into it in your review? I’m not necessarily arguing with the result, but I can’t follow the thought process that led you to that result. Thanks!


Sent from my iPad using EN World

The truth is, I didn't do a good job of explaining it in Deuce's either. Several hours of finger-typing on a defective touch-screen, plus frequent interruptions by my wife, plus a general sense that I had gone on over-long conspired to cut me short. I'll try to be clearer. For a good weave, I'm not just looking at the number of connections, but the quality of them. Just as the ingredients should be integral to the adventure, they also should be intricately inseparable from each other. Some of yours were, which is not atypical if a good adventure (and why I haven't been calling them out).

Quite a few of Deuce's were, which is atypical.

I'll give you some examples.

Neither of you used the dragon scales ingredient especially well at an individual level, but your use was clearly well-integrated with the others (except last laugh). Some of these connections were stronger than others, of course. The wandering monster is at the heart of it, but the violent solution, while a delicious dilemma, is only loosely linked to that particular ingredient. Meanwhile, Deuce also uses the ingredient to present a dilemma, not particularly centrally, but inseparable from the violent solution. There are other links that could be explored within this example, but the contrast is sufficient. Which is better? Neither, in isolation.

How about the mass hysteria? Your use is intricately bound to the scales and the talking animals (which are, themselves, inseparable), but it’s other connections are tenuous, at best. The mission of mercy is a byproduct, but need not have been. The violent solution is intended as a solution to that very problem, but it could have been any violence-related problem, really. The wandering monster created the problem (literally), but not while it was a wandering monster. And it can’t be blamed for stealing the scale, because Dale already did that! In contrast, Deuce’s mass hysteria is intricately tied to the wandering monster (who spread it), the violent solution(s) which are responses to it, the last laugh, which is its end stage, and the mission of mercy, which was necessitated by it. The dragon scales and even the otherwise weak talking animals are tied in, too, but not inseparably.

And Deuce’s has a lot more like the latter than the former. Upon further reflection, however, I do believe I was remiss in neglecting to call yours out. You do generally do a good job of this, probably better than most and I should not have glossed over it. (In fact, now that I think on it, I’m starting to wonder if you’ve competed before under a different name. No problem if you have. Just wondering.)

But this wasn’t a deciding factor in Deuce’s victory. Certainly, any implication that this was so was due to poor communication on my part. He won because his adventure was more solid (remember those fundamental questions?). He won because his ingredients were more numerously used better on an individual basis. It just so happens that his tapestry was exceptionally strong, but I think this is as much a reflection of those other two factors as it is a contributor.

I think that’s enough from me, for now. Do please offer insights into the production of your piece; I’m sure we’re all very interested! (Also, I’m totally running your entry! I know just where to use it!)

 

[tglassy]

Thank you, that does help.

This one was fun to write, as I love moral dilemmas like this. I’ve always had an interest in the Awaken Spell, it seems like it can be used for so much, so when I saw Talking Animals, I decided to go in that direction. What if there was a village of Awakened Animals? That’d be cool.

With Mass Hysteria, I figured the one thing that would send a village like that into hysterics is loosing their intelligence, so I needed something that would do that. It became easier if there was something keeping them intelligent that could be stolen. Hello quest!

Yeah, the dragon scales were a Macguffin. I almost had the wandering beast be a dragon, but when I decided on having the moral dilemma of killing or not killing the Archdruid, druids can’t wildshape into dragons. I suppose I could have made it where the Wandering Beast was a Dragon, and they needed to get a new scale for the Macguffin, but I really liked the possibility where taking the Violent Solution causes the Last Laugh, which I’ll explain now.

I had defined Last Laugh as something happening even though you did something that was supposed to stop it. I had it in two places. The first was Dale. He stole a scale in order to leave town, everything the party does is to get the scale back, but in one of the outcomes, killing the bear, Dale winds up swiping the scale again. He gets the last laugh.

But more pronounced is the devolution of the village. The point of the adventure is to stop the village from devolving. To do this, you’re supposed to kill the bear and get the scale. But killing the bear actually makes permanent the devolution, thus it having the “Last Laugh”. I suppose I should have made it more explicit rather than taking such a broad definition of the phrase.

Also, the Mission of Meecy is the entire quest. The party is on a Mission of Mercy to help the animal village. They aren’t going to get anything out of it, as they don’t know about the treasure horde. I thought that was rather obvious but again, I suppose I needed to be more explicit.

I actually really liked this adventure. It made me want Wotc to make rules for Awakened Beast PCs. It was fun to write. Thank you for your consideration. I’ll have to be more careful next year to make sure my prompts are clearly defined.

Also, I’ve never competed in this before. Tglassy is my name and always has been.


Sent from my iPhone using EN World

 

[Rune]

Round 2, Match 2: Gradine vs. Iron Sky

Once again, we have another tight match – perhaps the tightest yet of this tournament. We have two excellent adventures that are both pretty close to each other with regard to ingredient-usage. As I set out to write this, I have no idea which is the winning entry.

I need to address something before I get into it, however. I haven't specifically called out whether or not subtitles that convey adventure-relevant material counts against the word-limit. Until now, it's been an intentional gray area that hasn't been relevant. Now, though, Gradine's entry runs slightly over if I do.

I don't really feel the need to do so in this instance, though. The information conveyed is very brief and only imparts system, setting (as summed up in a single word), and a level-appropriate range. I'd have even been okay with an advised number of PCs being referenced. This kind of information is important for the running of the adventure, but isn't really part of the adventure, either. It's not egregious, and won't be penalized. If it was egregious, it would have been.

Now, the ingredients:

Harbinger. A harbinger is a forerunner who heralds the coming of someone else. Or, of change, itself. "Dreams in the Clouds" ("Dreams") doesn't really have anyone in either role, although the wandering plot-hook – er, mysterious traveler – comes kinda close, if you squint hard enough. As do the PCs, themselves.

"Deep Crude" ("Deep") does far better. I'm pretty sure that the harbinger is meant to be Isaiah, but Hadrian actually fits a bit better. Either way, the ingredient is central to the adventure, and, thus, to the PCs.

Crude Map. This one goes to "Deep," as well. "Dreams" gives us a flavorful map that fits the adventure well and serves to highlight the dream-like setting the PCs find themselves in. But it need not be crude to function in the adventure and it's necessity is questionable to begin with, given that travel is done by thought.

Whereas, the GPS coordinates provided by the loaded dice in “Deep” not only fit the bill in their own right, their inaccuracy doubles down on the crude component and, of course, the actual crude at the destination compounds it. Better yet, most of the adventure comes out the pursuit of the map's buried treasure.

Convergence of Clouds. "Deep" uses this ingredient pretty cleverly, as Hadrian's hacking of governmental server farms. As the catalyst that sparks all of the conflict in the adventure, it is certainly relevant, but it is weakened by the timeline. Had it not happened before the PCs show up, it would be much better.

In "Dreams," I never understood why the festival of the cloud giants was going on in the first place, but the fact that it is becomes a pretty big deal for the adventure. Must it be a convergence? Yes, because politics. Must it be clouds? Well, yeah. Because cloud giants (which tie in well with the fairy tale ingredient, but we'll get to that). Well done.

Fatal Flaw. I was a little disappointed with how this ingredient was handled in both entries. In "Dreams," it appears literally, as a flaw in the dragonshard that could actually prove fatal to Goffroc. As a piece of the social puzzle that makes up the latter part of the adventure, the relevance to the PCs is pretty significant, if the PCs have a reasonable chance of finding out about it. What disappoints me is that there is also room here to tie in a character flaw of Goffroc that leads to his downfall, but I'm not really seeing it. Zeckran or Aughra might qualify, but barely. Frankly, it feels like a missed opportunity.

But, "Deep" is perhaps too subtle, here. It's characters have flaws hinted at and, in particular, those suggested flaws in Hadrian (his general hubris, his gambling and, especially, his need to hack) do bring about his death (although not necessarily his downfall). But, as with the convergence of clouds, its relevance is undercut by timing it to occur before the PCs show up. Of course, Isaiah's father's heart defect also fits, but is completely buried in the backstory.

Compromised Position. This ingredient is the one I found hardest to identify in both entries. In "Dreams," the situation that seems to fit best is the agreement with the Drow to access the Crystal Keep. It opens up the social puzzle. Its relevance is clear.

"Deep" throws around quite a few dangerous situations, though none of them seem like over-run defensive positions. The ever-narrowing sets of coordinates lead to a kind of compromised location (in that it is in the middle), I suppose. But it's kind of weak.

Fairy Tale. The love story of two gay men in "Deep" is another clever interpretation of an ingredient ("Deep" has a few of those), but, other than providing emotional weight to the adventure, it doesn't seem to matter much. And, even if it did, it would work just as well if either Isaiah or Hadrian were a woman. Or simply not lovers.

Meanwhile, "Dream" is pretty much all fairy-tale (in that it happens in a faerie-realm, but in other ways, as well). Now, I'm a sucker for such things – and for dreamscapes – in RPGs, but I'm not going to focus on the scenery. Instead, I want to talk about the giants – and Jack.

Specifically, the subset of folk- and fairy tales known as Jack tales (one of which being Jack and the Beanstalk). The protagonist in these stories survives – and comes out on top – by virtue of his wits and quick-thinking.

And that's exactly what the PCs get to do in this adventure. In fact, a violent course would likely be suicidal (or maybe not, depending on what mid-level means and whether or not the PCs can divide their enemies into smaller groups – but that, too, would require wits and quick-thinking). At any rate, it all works on a more-than-superficial level. The only thing that would make it better would be if the PCs needed a giant beanstalk to get up to the clouds (when I adapt this for my table, they will!).

Loaded Dice. Zeckran's dice in "Dreams" play a pretty significant role in the social puzzle, but are ultimately just a piece of it.

Hadrian's loaded dice in "Deep" are a whole lot more directly relevant by virtue of being the tool with which the PCs unfold the adventure.

"Dreams" edges "Deep" out in the ingredient-usage area by a margin of 4:3.

The adventures:

At first pass, "Deep" appears to throw up a pretty significant red flag: the entire first half is taken up by background exposition! It is, at least, in the form of a monologue, so, if the PCs are willing to patiently hear it all (which is a big assumption!), they will at least get all of the relevant information. Still...the entire first half! Not a good sign!

The second half is so efficient at conveying usable information, though, that I can't really conclude that the first half damaged the entry. Added to that, the actual structure of the adventure works well. At first linear, all of the early action serves to propel the PCs further into the adventure.

Then, the PCs get to solve a nifty puzzle (and later figure out why it is inaccurate and solve that, too). There appear to be no other paths forward, so I do wonder what happens if they can't figure it out, but it doesn't seem insurmountable. It would be less satisfying, but an NPC could figure it out.

After that, the scope opens up to something that looks like a sandbox. It's still technically linear, since the various events aren't tied to the specific locations, but it won't feel linear, so that's okay. As it turns out, "Deep" is quite a solid adventure.

However, "Dreams" is also a solid adventure. An early exploration section leads to a social encounter, wherein the PCs learn about the real stakes of the adventure (unless they skip that part, because the adventure actually is set up as a sandbox).

And then they get up to the Crystal Keep and its social puzzle. If the DM is liberal with information that will help the PCs make decisions, this part could have an enormously (because, giants. Get it?) satisfying pay-off. If they instead blindly stumble into a solution, it works – just without the satisfaction part. (I do wonder, though, how the giants can promise to leave a place they refuse to believe they're in – or how they would pull it off, anyway.)

They're both really good adventures. I think the hooks are where we can find the difference. "Deep" gives us the old standby: greed. It's a good hook, but it assumes (as the adventure explicitly does) a mercenary motivation on the part of the PCs. It's the only thing offered throughout the adventure to keep them motivated.

"Dreams" has a more universal hook. Not the mysterious traveler – that's just another trapping of the fairy tale. Once in the Expanse (by whichever pretext), exploration of the unknown and a sense of wonder provide a more widely-applicable motivation until the PCs find out about the life-or-death stakes (which personally involve them) that will carry them through the rest of the adventure. All of this makes for a fantastic adventure that is just ever-so-slightly better than “Deep.”

Iron Sky, you put up an excellent entry, certainly of high enough quality to handily win against your average Round 2 entry. But Gradine's was far from average. He really stepped up his game and gave us an outstanding entry that is likely to be well-remembered by players and DM, alike.

By the barest of margins, he takes the match. Gradine advances to the championship round.

 

[Iron Sky]

Thanks, Rune, for judging! I agree with pretty much all of your points, the below is just commentary in the off chance anyone is interested.

I originally started to plot out a fantasy adventure which I find the easiest as you can make a world that fits perfectly for the ingredients. Then I read Crude Map a few times and just knew I had to do something modern.

Crude Map then linked to Convergence of Clouds as cloud computing, then the Loaded Dice as programmable dice. Who had them? Well, it was new technology so whoever was doing it could be the Harbinger. Then it broke down a bit, as Rune pointed out, and I felt more of stretch to tie the others in.

I originally was going to have them find fairies at the crude sites, but I'd set myself the goal of straight modern/near-future and so settled on the Fairy Tale instead - hence the lengthy exposition to make it a full Tale. I tried to figure out how to have the PCs interact with the Fatal Flaw, but kept on coming up with TPK-worthy situations that would have made it a good ingredient but a bad adventure so it felt somewhat tacked on. (Note, that Isaiah's father had a heart attack due to a flaw in his heart as a bonus use).

The Compromised Position in my entry I do think you missed: a position in the stock market is a placed order on securities or futures. The Isaiah staked all his billions on just such a position, which was then Compromised by Hadrian going quiet. I tried to call it out by actually using the word position... I'm wondering if bolding the ingredients helps? The PCs still don't interact with it directly, but I still wanted to call it out as I had a huge AHAH! when I figured it out.

In retrospect, with most of a week since to think about it, I would have had the whole adventure stand as a fairy tale, shortened the exposition, and used the extra wordage to introduce two sets of loaded dice - one with the password to Hadrian's account so the PCs could access the clouds and get a map printout, the other set with the refined coordinates. I also would have sought to make a specific Fatal Flaw they could interact with rather than having a handful of ones they only observe.

After dinging several adventures while judging last your for burying ingredients in the backstory, I committed the same sin. Live and learn I guess.

Anyway, congrats, [MENTION=57112]Gradine[/MENTION] on a superlative entry! As much as I liked my entry, as soon as I submitted it and read yours I had no idea which way it would go. I'll look forward to seeing what you produce for the championship round!

 

[Rune]

Thanks, Rune, for judging! I agree with pretty much all of your points, the below is just commentary in the off chance anyone is interested.

I'm always interested.

(Note, that Isaiah's father had a heart attack due to a flaw in his heart as a bonus use).

Yeah, I caught that (on one of my later passes), but – as you are well aware – it was buried in the backstory and, hence, not particularly relevant.

The Compromised Position in my entry I do think you missed: a position in the stock market is a placed order on securities or futures. The Isaiah staked all his billions on just such a position, which was then Compromised by Hadrian going quiet.

I mean, kind if. But it really isn't compromised, yet, while the PCs are still in play. Otherwise, what is the adventure all about?

I tried to call it out by actually using the word position... I'm wondering if bolding the ingredients helps? The PCs still don't interact with it directly, but I still wanted to call it out as I had a huge AHAH! when I figured it out.

I'm indifferent on the matter. If you're gambling on an interpretation, pointing it out to me might help me identify it, but if I can't find it on my own with multiple passes, it's probably a bit of a stretch, anyway. When it pays off, it pays off, but it wouldn't be gambling if it were a sure thing.

In retrospect, with most of a week since to think about it, I would have had the whole adventure stand as a fairy tale, shortened the exposition, and used the extra wordage to introduce two sets of loaded dice - one with the password to Hadrian's account so the PCs could access the clouds and get a map printout, the other set with the refined coordinates. I also would have sought to make a specific Fatal Flaw they could interact with rather than having a handful of ones they only observe.

After dinging several adventures while judging last your for burying ingredients in the backstory, I committed the same sin. Live and learn I guess.

It's always different when you're under the gun! It seriously was a very good entry, though!

Anyway, congrats, [MENTION=57112]Gradine[/MENTION] on a superlative entry! As much as I liked my entry, as soon as I submitted it and read yours I had no idea which way it would go. I'll look forward to seeing what you produce for the championship round!

Without checking, I think this might be Gradine's first Round 2 win. In which case, if so, congratulations to [MENTION=57112]Gradine[/MENTION] for breaking the Wicht-barrier! (And that joke would have been both relevant and funny a mere 15 years ago.)