First Judgment. . .
Note: The winner and loser's names are hidden by the "spoiler" tag. You must highlight the area to view it.
----------------------------------------------------------
Round One – First Match-Up: Wulf Ratbane vs. LazarusLong
This round’s first match is the perfect example in contrast of what makes a good adventure and thus what makes for a good
IRON DM entry. . . A
winning IRON DM entry – at least most of the time.
But, before we continue with that, let’s look at the definition of
Agoraphobia – n.
a morbid fear of open spaces (as fear of being caught alone in some public place).
Seems to me someone got that wrong, or broaden the definition when it was convenient and then cinched it a little tighter on the other end. I only mention that right from the beginning because it is major error with an ingredient and a major error with even one ingredient can usually sink an entry when faced against adequate use of all the ingredients.
Did it happen this time? Let’s work our way towards it and you can see for yourself.
Specificity vs. Generalities – Right from the beginning I found myself doubting Lazrarus’ entry because of the generality of his set-up. He has some nameless magic making a succubus into a mobile
pool of acid – can I just call time out here and say that that is just too weird and too wacky of an idea even a D&D game? It is just seems silly to me, and I think it would break the suspension of disbelief. I know it is kind of silly to say that in a setting with demons and ogres and magic and stuff, but still there are some things that tear at the seams for no good reason. And this is one of them. And while neither entry had all that strong of a hook to get the PCs involved, Wulf’s situation was specific and involved reasons and reasoning that had the main NPCs involved in the actual action.
Wulf smartly went for detailing that thing you can get away with detailing in an IRON DM entry because it only takes a sentence or two and its presence throughout a scenario only helps to develop it and bind it together with other ingredients, or is a central non-ingredient element that does that does the binding. I am talking about an NPC. And BOOM! There we have Emirkol the Chaotic, with a well-appreciated nod to one of my all-time favorite D&D books (still use it all the time) the 1e AD&D Dungeon’s Master’s Guide*, Wulf not only uses up one of the ingredients cunningly, but sets up a dynamic that is going to drive the adventure. That is, the rivalry between the two priests in the scenario does a lot in and of itself to describe their personalities and how they handle the situation once the PCs are involved. Revolving the adventure tightly with this one NPC also helped to build a foundation for a
specific location/event to interact with, which is narrow in scope, but broad in possibilities. Wulf lays out the situation clearly in his introduction, and essentially creates what will be a great combat-based tactical encounter in the trappings of events happening beyond the scope of the PC’s world, thus revealing more about the setting and giving them some bait for future exposure to the implied culture of feuding priests if they have a taste for it.
Well done.
Shall we contrast with Lazarus’ long-since dead wizard and his superfluous magistrate? Why even bother? You can see where that’d go.
But Laz does redeem himself a bit with some of his other characters. His Chaotic Priest definitely seems weak-willed and his schemes with the statue and his spells and using them to fool the ogres has promise, but his agoraphobia seems kind of thrown in, which is a weak use of ingredient on an already merely adequate use with the chaotic priest. His being “chaotic” does not seem to come into play very much (if at all) in terms of the adventure, and the results of his faith only seems to serve to give him afore-mentioned weakly used. Agoraphobia.
But at least Lazrarus made an effort to explain it and weave it into what was going on. Emirkol’s feigning agoraphobia to get the party out of the tavern (Green Griffon, check) is perhaps the weakest use of an ingredient in all of Wulf’s entriess – and among the weakest ever, by anybody. Blech. The attempt to re-introduce it as a description of the effects of the
Canonize spell is just throwing another handful of dirt on the grave of that is the use of this ingredient.
Aside: Where is that spell from anyway? It is a terrible name. The 4th and 5th definitions listed on Dictionary.com (To approve as being within canon law and To treat as sacred; glorify) show me where the idea came from, the word is too heavily associated with being something that happens to a person or scripture not a location. But the word is neither here nor there, I figured I’d just mention my opinion on the matter.
But the Agoraphobia? I did not see any relation to the behavior ascribed to Emirkol or the effects of the spell that fit the definition I included at the outset of this judgment or that which Wulf himself included in his ingredient review. It is hard blow on an otherwise interestingly little sidetrek adventure.
Intertwining Ingredients: There cases where I like LazarusLong’s individual entry use better than I do Wulf’s. Perfect example is the ogre tribe. Aside from being chaotic, evil and dangerous, Wulf’s tribe of ogres did not have to be what it was for the scenario to work AND had not unique feature to them that made them stand out as worthy of attention in and off themselves. However, Laz’s ogres have a bit of history to them and they have personality that a DM can use to present them in an intriguing and engaging light – they have found an idol to worship and they are easily tricked looking for something to latch on to now that they’ve left their home (not a very chaotic outlook, but an understandable one nonetheless).
Wulf Ratbane, on the other hand, wraps his ingredients together well. The ruby-eyed idol (again another nod to the 1e DMG) with it’s tempting optics within the demon-summoning circle is cleverly put together (though I have no idea what book the ‘Babau’ is from – so I have to ask whether they have some kind of natural acid attack or have acid skin or something in order for the ‘pool of acid’ to be included in this – If it is the case, well it is a great friggin’ idea and I applaud ya for it, and if not and you just decided to make this particular demon sweat acid or what-have-you just to shoehorn the ingredient, then shame on you!) But since the creature is not a core book thing and there was insufficient explanation in the entry I am left with no other choice than to shrug my shoulders and wonder if this entry might have been even better – and turned the obvious weakness of the ‘pool of acid’ into a strength – though it was still significantly better than the charming pool of acid that Laz gives us. And mighty rat bastardly of Wulf to make examination of the acid lead to setting the demon loose.
Oh, and the “
You want these. . . line/description was priceless! I love it!
LazarusLong’s demon-summoning circle made of the innocents killed and dragged there by the ogres is a nice touch – but the means by which the PCs are then to discover the priest’s cave and the circle lacks a real draw.
Conclusions & Loose Threads: Another good thing about including strong NPCs in your adventures is that the PCs can create relationships with them, whether they be helpful, antagonistic or some combination of both. Wulf’s adventure, while not suggesting any follow-up loose threads implies plenty enough. There is the ruined temple, both priesthoods, whether on their own or feuding and the demon’s wrath to deal with. In Laz’s case all we are left with a neurotic priest who feels sorry for himself, but still not pitiable enough to make me (or, I think any, PCs) really give two craps about him.
In the end, it is fairly clear that
is the winner. In the end his entry seemed like it;d be the more interesting to play and while a “self-enclosed” little encounter, had more long-term stuff going for it than LazarusLong’s.
better luck next time. For what it is worth, I think you had some really good ideas and background material, and I think in a future IRON DM you’d likely do much better.
, you move on to the next round, which I hope to have be against the winter of MacBeth vs. CarpeDavid. Congrats!
