[IronDM] Iron DM Returns! Winner announced!

[Warden]

I had nearly three hours before we left for a field job in South Carolina, for which I would not be back until late the next day.

I hear ya on that one. I only had three hours to write my own entry as well, with work and a last minute schedule change. 24 hours can actually seem like a lot, IF you have the time to pour in the entire 24 hours (minus sleep). But when the rest of your life -- you know, the kind that pays you money -- comes knocking, it gets cut down pretty quick.

 

[TroyXavier]

I've enjoyed this a lot and congrats to all the winners so far.

 

[Evilhalfling]

Dremmen, good game. Im sorry that you had so little time to write your enrty - mine took better than 5 hours to finish. It was still a complete wreck at 2 hrs, I am impressed by what you mangaged to submit. Esp the Enchanted forest/dryads - although zomie hookers? ew.

to readers: Sorry about my first paragraph, it was actually tacked on as an afterthought to provide better justification for the title of queen. As the PCs would prolly not ever find this out, it could have been cut, or edited. If I can edit this first pargaraph now I will, perhaps even changing the wand as well (as described below)

I was worried about the linear nature of my adventure, but honestly I write linear adventures. I try and avoid railroading and am willing to let the campagin arcs go off in nearly any direction, but my actual adventures are straight forward. When I have run my group through mystries, 1-2 players do most of the work, dragging the others along. I have done non-linear one shots, it looks like I need more practice in it.

You didnt mention that I forgot to set the level and number of appropriate adventures -
which was my first regret (not last) after posting it.

I was very proud of Nightshade - name/theme/poison/clues - good old google.
and most nervous about the see - I never found a great way to tie it in. Im not sure that you caught that a See is the seat of a bishop, such as the See of Canturbury. The fact that all the legends are oral increases the chance of this misconception. Its a good pun, but there is no great reason for it to be there and if you take out the archron fight, its a pretty boring set.
I disagree about the arrogant archon, LG can be easily offended by any other point of view, and LG can certainly be violent. This was really just an exuse for a second fight for the adventure, and Im not that happy with it either.

Oh the wand (sigh). I was going to use spell locate creature first (in a scroll or item), and missed the change in spell duration. The simple way to correct this would be to give it 50 charges - but even this change assumes the PCs would be willing to burn out the wand on a single adventure.

 

[Tinner]

I do appreciate the feedback, although I think it's a little too harsh for people who do this for fun. It's one thing to want to do this for a living but if it's something you do for fun, I think it's a little too harsh. But that's just me.

Actually, I like the frank and honest feedback. That's something I rarely get from my home group when I DM, so here it's a welcome change of pace.
Plus it fits in so well with the whole Iron Chef parody too. CarpeDavid, you're not a fortune teller or minor government official are you? I'm pretty sure you're not an actor or sports figure either ...
The criticism I got was excellent, it helped me see some weak spots in my adventure writing that I hadn't seen before. If I get knocked out next round, I will regret not getting more such commentary.

 

[reveal]

Actually, I like the frank and honest feedback. That's something I rarely get from my home group when I DM, so here it's a welcome change of pace.
Plus it fits in so well with the whole Iron Chef parody too. CarpeDavid, you're not a fortune teller or minor government official are you? I'm pretty sure you're not an actor or sports figure either ...
The criticism I got was excellent, it helped me some some weak spots in my adventure writing that I hadn't seen before. If I get knocked out next round, I will regret not getting more such commentary.

I also appreciate frank and honest feedback. I just thought the feedback in this is a little harsh, that's all. Maybe I'm just too sensitive.

 

[carpedavid]

Sorry about my first paragraph, it was actually tacked on as an afterthought to provide better justification for the title of queen. As the PCs would prolly not ever find this out, it could have been cut, or edited. If I can edit this first pargaraph now I will, perhaps even changing the wand as well (as described below)

I would ask that the contestants don't edit their original posts - they need to stay in the form that they were judged in, in order for observers to be able to make sense of the contest.

If you feel up to posting a revised version of your entry (or just the parts that you're unhappy with), feel free to do so in a separate post.

I'm reading the 5th round matches right now. If I'm ambitious, I'll try to get to posting a judgment tonight. Otherwise, look for it tomorrow.

 

[Wulf Ratbane]

I also appreciate frank and honest feedback. I just thought the feedback in this is a little harsh, that's all. Maybe I'm just too sensitive.

Well, the criticism is supposed to be harsh-- we've even coined a term for it (nemmerlesque).

Take comfort that it isn't personal. Harsh and impersonal.

 

[reveal]

Well, the criticism is supposed to be harsh-- we've even coined a term for it (nemmerlesque).

Take comfort that it isn't personal. Harsh and impersonal.

Going back and looking at it again, I think I was just being a little b-, er, whiner.

The feedback is definitely not too harsh. I think I was just stung and am over it now.

I know my adventure needs work.

1) Yes, I made it a high level adventure because of the monk. Looking back, I definitely should have made it lower.

2) I would have fleshed out the political intrigue in the town more if I had more time. 24 hours is not enough. I'm the type of person who will write, come back to it, write, come back to it and so on until I'm happy with it.

3) The darkwood dagger was, indeed, an "oh crap I gotta put this in there" object.

4) While Diamond Body does give them immunity to poisons of all kind, I would think that if a monk had been drinking poison every single day, sometimes more than once a day, for 50 years, there's a chance that it could affect him in some way.

5) I never actually stated how much foxglove was given to the mayor. Brother Sebastian's plan was to get the politican to become suspicious of one another not to just outright kill the mayor.

6) No, I didn't say how Brother Sebastian got the Mohrg's but, again, I didn't think I had enough time.

Overall, the criticism was fair and deserved and I definitely will sign up next time.

And I still think it would be cool to fight Brother Sebastian to the edge of the impossibly high wall, only to have him jump over the side.

 

[WinnipegDragon]

I'm a similar writer to you Reveal, in that I can't just sit and and pump out an adventure in 2 or 3 hours. I think I spent 9 hours or so on mine.

I guess that's why I hated losing so much, because you put so much into it, and so it's hard to see the flaws that exist in the finished product. It doesn't mean that they aren't there, just that you hate to think that you made bad decisions or glaring errors.

 

[howandwhy99]

I guess that's why I hated losing so much, because you put so much into it, and so it's hard to see the flaws that exist in the finished product. It doesn't mean that they aren't there, just that you hate to think that you made bad decisions or glaring errors.

Quoted for truth.