I have to wonder if you've ever tried any of it, because I know from quite a lot of experience that you're completely wrong.
And I'm not blaming the DM, I'm reminding people that there are tools for them.
As for XP, milestone leveling is an official option. Use it if you don't like the pacing of the standard XP chart.
The guidelines are not necessary. Throw them out. The game won't break.
Every time I've had players stressing out over strategic and tactical choices, worried about survival, etc, in 5e, it has not involved even 4 encounters in a day. I've never run a 5e game with 6 or more encounters, nor have I literally ever seen anyone else do so. The game runs fine.