jasper
Rotten DM
Lost Mines of Phandelver Session 1
Wolfish Rogues
Day 1
PC Killed 0 Monsters Killed 9 Capture 0 Escaped 4
Gain a level, 80 GP, 10 downtime days
I have a super weak group of two Jasper Rogue 1 and Horton Rogue 1.
The Rogue duo are driving a wagon of questionable ale and beer their drinking buddy Gundren “Honest” Rockseeker had asked them to deliver to Phandelver. Around noon they come across an obvious ambush. Horton scouts ahead and discovers the dead horse which are functioning as road block, were Bundren and Sildar’s horses. They take out one goblin and the other flees.
Examining the site two bodies were dragged northwest and an empty map case is under one horse. They lead the oxen driven wagon into the woods following the goblin and body dragged tracks until the woods get too thick for the wagon. They tie off the oxen and follow the tracks to a brook which varies in width and depth as little as five feet to as much as ten feet. They spy a goblin behind a heavy thicket of kudzu.
Horton, “Hope it is not Killer Kudzu.”
Jasper, “If it was the goblin would be dead. I just got a wonderful idea.” She reaches into her pocket for her playing cards.
Horton, “Not the idea that got us banned from Vegas,”
Jasper smiles, “Trust me. Excuse me Pvt Pyle of Goblin Company Wilson. Dice. Dice. Dice. I know it boring. Boring. Just so boring on guard duty. And you know that Sgt Carter is not around to make you behave. I aim to misbehave. Do you aim to miss behave? Bet you can’t can beat me in bones. I bet you a Slim Jim. What you going to do?”
Pvt Pyle being dash, confused, and weirded out by Jasper bets his horse Jerky. And wins even when Jasper throws her cheating d6. Pvt Pyle bets his jerky against Jasper’s Beef Stew C rations.
Jasper, “Hey where did those come from.”
DM, “Shut it. The DM is writing.”
Jasper is also keeping up some patter and questioning Pyle. Until she mentions the ambush point and Pvt Duke. Pyle goes for his sword but with Horton being in stealth (23 really. 23 hides at freaking first level Sigh). Horton releases his arrow catching Pyle in the forehead. Jasper steals.
Jasper, “Um hum!”
Jasper recovers her swag and loots the body of the goblin. They drag him into the kudzu. They enter the brook and following into the cave. Finding a kennel, they feed and befriend a wolf. They also listen in to Lt Klarg about the captives at small air hole which connects the kennel to HQ. They light a torch and get lucky as they go deeper into the cave complex. Spying a guard on a bridge they dash into a side tunnel. Getting lucky again the side tunnel branches north and south. The south side leads to kitchen and torture chamber, and the north curves back to east. Hearing their friend being torture, they plan to distract the goblins with a wolf howl. Jasper hides in an alcove and Horton around the corner. It takes a couple of tries but the first goblin is distracted and is killed as he turns the corner to face Horton. The second goblin is shot in the back just before he turns the corner. The distraction does not work a third time.
Jasper feeds the wolf another Scooby snack and hides under its belly like Ulysses. As she is approaching Pvt Griffin and Sgt Carter, she leaps on to the wolf’s back and fires an arrow. (Nat 20 23 points OH QUICK counting.)
Jasper, “25 points”
Horton, “I did 14 points to the 7-point goblin.”
DM, “Rogues. Rogues. You both deadly. And I think I may have to do a dice check.”
Sildar is saved and has the following information. The three Rockseeker brothers (Gundren, Tharden, and Nundro) recently located an entrance to the long-lost Wave Echo Cave, site of the mines of the Phandelver’s Pact. Klarg, the bugbear who leads this goblin band, had orders to waylay Gundren. Sildar heard from the goblins that the Black Spider sent word that the dwarf was to be brought to him. Sildar doesn’t know who or what the Black Spider is. Gundren had a map showing the secret location of Wave Echo Cave, but the goblins took it when they captured him. Sildar believes that Klarg sent the map and the dwarf to the chief of the Cragmaws at a place called Cragmaw Castle. Sildar doesn’t know where that might be, but he suggests someone in Phandalin might know. Sildar’s contact in Phandalin is a human wizard named Iarno Albrek. The wizard traveled to the town two months ago to establish order there. After the Lords’ Alliance received no word from Iarno, Sildar decided to investigate.
Telling the goblin family members to keep quiet for five minutes. The group escapes. They lose the wolf to wild about a mile outside the cave system.
The dice seem to love the players during this session.
Wolfish Rogues
Day 1
PC Killed 0 Monsters Killed 9 Capture 0 Escaped 4
Gain a level, 80 GP, 10 downtime days
I have a super weak group of two Jasper Rogue 1 and Horton Rogue 1.
The Rogue duo are driving a wagon of questionable ale and beer their drinking buddy Gundren “Honest” Rockseeker had asked them to deliver to Phandelver. Around noon they come across an obvious ambush. Horton scouts ahead and discovers the dead horse which are functioning as road block, were Bundren and Sildar’s horses. They take out one goblin and the other flees.
Examining the site two bodies were dragged northwest and an empty map case is under one horse. They lead the oxen driven wagon into the woods following the goblin and body dragged tracks until the woods get too thick for the wagon. They tie off the oxen and follow the tracks to a brook which varies in width and depth as little as five feet to as much as ten feet. They spy a goblin behind a heavy thicket of kudzu.
Horton, “Hope it is not Killer Kudzu.”
Jasper, “If it was the goblin would be dead. I just got a wonderful idea.” She reaches into her pocket for her playing cards.
Horton, “Not the idea that got us banned from Vegas,”
Jasper smiles, “Trust me. Excuse me Pvt Pyle of Goblin Company Wilson. Dice. Dice. Dice. I know it boring. Boring. Just so boring on guard duty. And you know that Sgt Carter is not around to make you behave. I aim to misbehave. Do you aim to miss behave? Bet you can’t can beat me in bones. I bet you a Slim Jim. What you going to do?”
Pvt Pyle being dash, confused, and weirded out by Jasper bets his horse Jerky. And wins even when Jasper throws her cheating d6. Pvt Pyle bets his jerky against Jasper’s Beef Stew C rations.
Jasper, “Hey where did those come from.”
DM, “Shut it. The DM is writing.”
Jasper is also keeping up some patter and questioning Pyle. Until she mentions the ambush point and Pvt Duke. Pyle goes for his sword but with Horton being in stealth (23 really. 23 hides at freaking first level Sigh). Horton releases his arrow catching Pyle in the forehead. Jasper steals.
Jasper, “Um hum!”
Jasper recovers her swag and loots the body of the goblin. They drag him into the kudzu. They enter the brook and following into the cave. Finding a kennel, they feed and befriend a wolf. They also listen in to Lt Klarg about the captives at small air hole which connects the kennel to HQ. They light a torch and get lucky as they go deeper into the cave complex. Spying a guard on a bridge they dash into a side tunnel. Getting lucky again the side tunnel branches north and south. The south side leads to kitchen and torture chamber, and the north curves back to east. Hearing their friend being torture, they plan to distract the goblins with a wolf howl. Jasper hides in an alcove and Horton around the corner. It takes a couple of tries but the first goblin is distracted and is killed as he turns the corner to face Horton. The second goblin is shot in the back just before he turns the corner. The distraction does not work a third time.
Jasper feeds the wolf another Scooby snack and hides under its belly like Ulysses. As she is approaching Pvt Griffin and Sgt Carter, she leaps on to the wolf’s back and fires an arrow. (Nat 20 23 points OH QUICK counting.)
Jasper, “25 points”
Horton, “I did 14 points to the 7-point goblin.”
DM, “Rogues. Rogues. You both deadly. And I think I may have to do a dice check.”
Sildar is saved and has the following information. The three Rockseeker brothers (Gundren, Tharden, and Nundro) recently located an entrance to the long-lost Wave Echo Cave, site of the mines of the Phandelver’s Pact. Klarg, the bugbear who leads this goblin band, had orders to waylay Gundren. Sildar heard from the goblins that the Black Spider sent word that the dwarf was to be brought to him. Sildar doesn’t know who or what the Black Spider is. Gundren had a map showing the secret location of Wave Echo Cave, but the goblins took it when they captured him. Sildar believes that Klarg sent the map and the dwarf to the chief of the Cragmaws at a place called Cragmaw Castle. Sildar doesn’t know where that might be, but he suggests someone in Phandalin might know. Sildar’s contact in Phandalin is a human wizard named Iarno Albrek. The wizard traveled to the town two months ago to establish order there. After the Lords’ Alliance received no word from Iarno, Sildar decided to investigate.
Telling the goblin family members to keep quiet for five minutes. The group escapes. They lose the wolf to wild about a mile outside the cave system.
The dice seem to love the players during this session.