Kender versus Warforged

[teitan]

Considering that all kender were wiped out of existance by their own stupidity, I'd say the warforged wins by default.

I've always hated kender. "It's not stealing if you just find it" blah blah blah. That's on par with "I'll just keep swinging my axe, and if it happens to chop you in half and kill you that's not murder..."

What are kenders' defining traits? Stealing things and insulting people. In real life we call people who do that "losers" "criminals" and/or "mentally ill." I've seen players piss and moan when they aren't allowed to indulge their kleptomaniacal kender's desire to steal from fellow party members. You know what? People who steal from friends are scum, so why would any party tolerate this?

Depends, what were they trying to steal? A kender wouldn't try to steal. A kender simply takes things that look interesting, not valuable and most of the time they do not realize they even did it. This is why they aren't "klepto" in the sense you mean. As far as the taunts, they are like children in that regard, it isn't as you portray it either. Kender's defining traits are their FEARLESSNESS and loyalty to their friends. Anybody who plays them as thieves is playing it wrong. If a kender has a party members item it is something the DM should decide because the player should be just as surprised he has the item as the party member!

 

[Deekin]

As far as the question at hand...

Kender, he would have borrowed the warforgeds weapons before he got his first attack, the Kender would use his taunt to render him flat footed and take his sneak attack for the win!

But the Warforged hands are weapons, and all warforge have light fortifaction. The Warforge, now angre, crushes the kender into a small red pulp.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Kender. At the beginning of the combat, the warforged would find that he can only move his head, and when he asked for his spinegear, the kender would look surprised, take it out of his pocket, and look at it as if he has never before seen it.

"Is that what you mean? I found it lying there!"

Then he would give it back. With a hoopack. He'd hit the warforged in the head with it, which would promptly fall off (missing spinegear).

Of course, the kender would be terribly distraught about it all, and would try to fix the warforged. The end result would be A walking recycling bin that can only communicate with beeps.

He'd steel the warforged's nuts

 

[teitan]

But the Warforged hands are weapons, and all warforge have light fortifaction. The Warforge, now angre, crushes the kender into a small red pulp.

Ahh but the Kender has already stunned the warforged so it doesn't really matter!!!

 

[(Psi)SeveredHead]

Ahh but the Kender has already stunned the warforged so it doesn't really matter!!!

I would think stunning a warforged is difficult... also kender can't pull off bits of a warforged, such as spine-gear, anymore than an assassin could literally remove a human's spine. If anything, removing a warforged's spine is more difficult due to the usual plating and the fortification.

A kender wouldn't try to steal. A kender simply takes things that look interesting, not valuable and most of the time they do not realize they even did it. This is why they aren't "klepto" in the sense you mean.

Kender "thievery" makes the game less fun for a lot of other players. I don't care if the kender only took the non-magical shiny rock in my pocket; if someone did that to me in real life, I would be angry. I especially don't want things going missing and not know about it either - if I were to deliver something, only to find it gone, or found my spellpouch is missing, or whatever, I would be angry. If they took the mayor's pretty signet ring, they're just getting the law on their heads. Etc. It isn't about literal kleptomania, it's about annoying other players at the same table.

As far as the taunts, they are like children in that regard, it isn't as you portray it either.

Most people I've seen playing kender can't do the taunting right (because they're not Chris Rock in real life), but we're supposed to assume they're doing it right and act accordingly.

 

[Banshee16]

The kender would likely have removed some vital component to see how it works, before the warforged ever realized there was a fight...

Banshee

 

[Mr Samedi]

Warforged, not being robots and all, have very few vital components and no gears.

It would be like stealing the "vital components" of a statue.

 

[megamania]

The kender would try to taunt the warforged. However, the warforged has no concept of emotion so he merely stands there. The kender gives up to find a beholder behind the next door.

When a human walk by the warforged stops him and says in his best montone- "Don't feed sugar to the halfling. It rots their brain."