Kender versus Warforged

[Bardsandsages]

Warforged.

Kender are crap.

HERESY!

I think it would be the kender - he'd steal the key the warforged uses to wind up his clockwork mechanism.

It's not stealing if you just find it....

 

[pawsplay]

Who cares? We all lose, really.

 

[lukelightning]

Considering that all kender were wiped out of existance by their own stupidity, I'd say the warforged wins by default.

I've always hated kender. "It's not stealing if you just find it" blah blah blah. That's on par with "I'll just keep swinging my axe, and if it happens to chop you in half and kill you that's not murder..."

What are kenders' defining traits? Stealing things and insulting people. In real life we call people who do that "losers" "criminals" and/or "mentally ill." I've seen players piss and moan when they aren't allowed to indulge their kleptomaniacal kender's desire to steal from fellow party members. You know what? People who steal from friends are scum, so why would any party tolerate this?

 

[Falkus]

What are kenders' defining traits?

As I recall, its curiosity and fearlessness.

 

[Cam Banks]

As I recall, its curiosity and fearlessness.

And an almost fanatical devotion to the Kingpriest....

....I'll come in again.

Cheers,
Cam

 

[thedungeondelver]

The Kender would steal all the nuts and bolts out of the warforged's armor and it would collapse. Of course, it would collapse on top of the kender, depriving the world of not one but two of the worst-ever notions created for D&D, leaving the game richer for it.

 

[kigmatzomat]

What are kenders' defining traits?

Depends on which aspects the players latch onto. Lots of people play kenders to be ... something I probably shouldn't say in front of Eric's grandma but it is really irritating.

Others capture the flavor. Which can still be irritating. The guy in our party who played a kender who desperately wanted to be a paladin, for instance. He was like a paladin with ADHD; heart in the right place but no attention span or ability to plan. Would get excited and charge on his "war" horse (the biggest draft horse he could find). He used "taunt" at times essentially the same way a Marshall would. Which again was troublesome as he'd often wind up pulling the BBEG away from the true fighters.

But he really nailed the general aura of a kender; exasperating but still a worthwhile person. But yeah, if a kender isn't somewhat exasperating it better be an middle-aged or older kender.

 

[demiurge1138]

A kender is a little troublemaker known for fearlessness. A warforged is a Modular Organism Designed Only for Killing.

...yeah, that kender's toast.

Demiurge out.

 

[lukelightning]

As I recall, its curiosity and fearlessness.

Curious+fearless=dead.

The Kender would steal all the nuts and bolts out of the warforged's armor and it would collapse.

A shame for the kender that warforged have neither nut, bolts nor armor.

 

[wingsandsword]

The Kender would pickpocket the warforged as a neat talking statue and walk away with it

The best way I've seen Kender kleptomania handled is that the PC can't control it, hence it's kleptomania. The DM rolls for them periodically, whenever he wants.