Kissing a shy girl.

[reanjr]

Remember, this is also not always the best place to ask for advice.

That's the thing that always pops into my head when I hear questions like this. I suppose anonymous questioning among a group of people whose opinion you respect is always good, but I just can't get the feeling out of my head that ENWorld just doesn't seem like the place. Maybe I just prefer real life interaction too much.

That said, I wanted to disagree with the single failure, give up take on the situation. Persistence pays off in many aspects of life. This is just one of them. Though, maybe I'm not the best person to listen to. I have a horrible problem with moving friendly flirtation to something more than friendly. It's much easier to start out with romantic intentions, though it is not successful more often than not. Which just leads me to believe I fall into the nice guy trap easily. I'm going to go cry now.

See what you made do, RangerWickett!! You made me cry!!

...

I'm OK now.

 

[reanjr]

My only problem is why does it always seem that the
men are taking the exam and the women are the ones administering the
exam?

Societal expectation? Men are more comfortable with failure? Men are more needy of a relationship?

 

[Nellisir]

why does it always seem that the men are taking the exam and the women are the ones administering the exam?

Whether you attribute it to societal or biological influences (or both), men are typically more aggressive and overt in seeking to initiating a relationship. That puts the woman in the role of accepting or declining it. The man, presumably, has already administered his "test", and if she failed, he wouldn't be pursuing her.

Beautiful plumage.
Nell.

 

[Dyne]

That's the thing that always pops into my head when I hear questions like this. I suppose anonymous questioning among a group of people whose opinion you respect is always good, but I just can't get the feeling out of my head that ENWorld just doesn't seem like the place. Maybe I just prefer real life interaction too much.

That said, I wanted to disagree with the single failure, give up take on the situation. Persistence pays off in many aspects of life. This is just one of them. Though, maybe I'm not the best person to listen to. I have a horrible problem with moving friendly flirtation to something more than friendly. It's much easier to start out with romantic intentions, though it is not successful more often than not. Which just leads me to believe I fall into the nice guy trap easily. I'm going to go cry now.

See what you made do, RangerWickett!! You made me cry!!

...

I'm OK now.

You know what's worse? Falling into the "nice guy trap" before you have any relationship with the girl, or even know much more than her name.

Don't even ask how that's possible. I'm not even sure myself.

 

[Acquana]

It's not as bad as it seems.

Glad things worked out for you. I wish I inhabited the parallel universe you live in; it seems like a much more hospitable, forgiving place than the one I inhabit.

Hey, Cynic McAngstyFace over there! Ease off, man, and let the drama llama out to graze. You wanna think this is waaaay more complicated than it is. It's just relationships. I know that sounds retarded, but it's true.

The guy I'm with now was shy too, Rangerwickett, but I think you know most of that story. Heck, my guy was 21 before his first kiss! And he's a guy! And ... um ... I stole his first kiss without knowing. -_-;;

The physical stuff just satisfies a biological need, the emotional need is the one that needs to be bolstered first. It's perfectly fine for someone to be conisdered "going out" before anything happens. Some people just need more time, usually when inexperienced and intimidated by their partner's history.

Slow down, dudes, seriously. Watch for signals in your partner. If they're shy by nature, let them be the one leading. It's frustrating as all heck when you've been farther before and have to start all over ... slowly ... But hey, it's worth it if you care, right? I let my guy lead when we started going out. Everything's wonderful now!

And, hey, RW. Congrats. Seriously. Coming from a rather *ahem* aggressive woman, I knew you would be taken off guard by shy. Believe me, I felt the same way with mine. I was constantly afraid I was going to scare him off. So don't worry. You'll do fine.

 

[fusangite]

You wanna think this is waaaay more complicated than it is. It's just relationships. I know that sounds retarded, but it's true.

My uncle held seven world records in Track and Field between 1959 and 1968 and won a bronze medal at the 1964 Olympics in Tokyo. He was the second person in the world to run 100m in 10 seconds flat.

But his coaching, while very inspiring, left a lot to be desired in the field of technique. "Just run!" he would tell his athletes.

 

[Acquana]

My uncle held seven world records in Track and Field between 1959 and 1968 and won a bronze medal at the 1964 Olympics in Tokyo. He was the second person in the world to run 100m in 10 seconds flat.

But his coaching, while very inspiring, left a lot to be desired in the field of technique. "Just run!" he would tell his athletes.

So uh ... Are you in high school? I don't think much more needs to be said than that.

 

[fusangite]

So uh ... Are you in high school? I don't think much more needs to be said than that.

So uh ... Evidently some remark I've made on this thread has offended you. For future reference, I would prefer it if you would notify me of what the offending remark was instead of proceeding directly to the ad hominem attacks.

 

[RangerWickett]

Fusangite, you seem to think that Jessie-Lynn (Acquana) is pissed at you. She's an ex of mine, so trust me, she's not angry at you. It's just that she went through high school, and she thinks that she was a moron during high school. She thinks that the level of bitterness you displayed about relationships is akin to how she felt during high school.

She may have lost touch slightly with how important high school relationships are while you're in high school. Sure, now that she's graduated college she can look back and say she was a dolt and that all the worrying wasn't worth it in the long run, but at the time it was something she cared about, and not worrying would have been insincere.

So Fusi, don't take Jessie's comment as an attack. She's just trying to say that being angry, sad, or angsty about how bad things are never helps. In the long run it's better to have happy memories than angsty ones.

By the way, Jessie. Fusangite is 9 years older than you. So .

Of course, that doesn't mean angst still isn't silly.

And to give you guys an update, I went and hung out with Cat (my girlfriend) until 4am tonight, even though I have work tomorrow at 10am, because I enjoy spending time with her so much. We have a date this Sunday, which will hopefully involve lots of sitting together, talking, holding hands, and watching Cowboy Bebop. *grin*

So yeah, I need to go to bed. *wink*

 

[Rel]

We have a date this Sunday, which will hopefully involve lots of sitting together, talking, holding hands, and watching Cowboy Bebop. *grin*

Yes, but what about the kissing?