Let's do an experiment using bad boxed text.

[Oryan77]

The thread asking about the old post about the 2e adventure "The Forest Oracle" gave me an idea. Every so often I go and look up that thread just for kicks because that adventure is written so poorly.

Are there any DMs out there that would be interested in a little experiment?

I would love to read some stories about a DM that writes his own boxed text similarly as bad as the boxed text from the Forest Oracle:

http://www.enworld.org/forum/genera...st-tsr-adventure-module-s-ever-published.html

A group of seven men approaches. They are following the road east, and are making good time, neither tarrying nor running. Their faces are expressionless. One is dressed as a cleric of some sort, and another is dressed as a traveling drummer. The others could be peasants or serfs going from one location to another for the harvest season. Each carries some sort of weapon. It is plain that they are not soldiers by their haphazard way of walking. They do not seem to be joking loudly or singing as they advance.

The more confusing & funny the boxed text is, the better. Then for 1 entire session, actually read your boxed text to your players as they continue on with the game (in the campaign you are currently running, don't make a one-off game just to do this). Don't tell them anything about it ahead of time, and don't laugh or acknowledge how bad it is while you read it (or even after you read it). Just run the game like you normally would and act like everything is normal. But keep mental notes of your players reaction to all of your boxed text. You can fess up after the session just so your players don't think you're a crackpot. But then post the reactions you got here so everyone can see.

I'm just wondering if players would actually notice the bad boxed text. And if they did, I'd love to hear what they say about it. Will they be confused and ask questions? Will they point out how unnecessary any of the description is? Or will they play along with it as if it is normal? And to help out, maybe we can help you create this terrible boxed text?

If anyone is interested, then you can give a brief explanation of the scenes you want to read boxed text for and we can help you write it. Doing this for more than just one scene would be better too. Just make the entire session kind of screwy with your descriptions, but play it off like you don't notice anything is screwy. If a player asks you, "Dude, what's up with this description?" just say things like, "What do you mean? Oh, yeah, I guess that doesn't make sense." and quickly move on to deflect the attention.

What do you think? Fun idea? Or an annoyingly waste of time?

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Speaking from experience with home-brews on both sides of the screen, I can say without equivocation that our group would notice...and pounce on it like starving wolves.

This IS the group that I've posted about before...where a DM on-the-fly gaffes in changing the chieftain of the tribe's welcoming speech resulted in aching ribs.

 

[Piratecat]

I love the idea but could never carry it off.

Anyone want to have a "worst homemade boxed text" contest?

 

[Oryan77]

I love the idea but could never carry it off.

My problem is that I think I would not be able to do it with a straight face. I would struggle not to laugh out how lame I was being.

My players are those people that will react to any little twitch on my face. If they think my NPC is up to something, they'll look at me intently to see if they can read my face and metagame something from my dopey expression.

It doesn't help the situation when I notice them doing this and I start to grin. Then they say, "See, I know he's up to something. We can't trust this guy." Then I am forced to speak out of game, "Guys, it's a one-legged orphan dying from disease & starvation." Then they respond with, "Yeah, but you have this look on your face and I don't trust him. I check my money pouch."

Anyone want to have a "worst homemade boxed text" contest?

Might be fun. It's sort of the angle I was going for with this thread. But the thread doesn't seem to be getting much response. I'm sure a funny contest would get more attention. We'd need to set some standards and come up with a generic scenario for everyone to base their boxed text off of.

 

[Camelot]

You find yourself in a room. The room is not too large but not too small. There are no doors or windows. The walls, floor, and ceiling are all made out of bedrock. You realize you have been stripped of all your possessions. No matter how much you search, you cannot find anything else in this room. How do you get out?
​

 

[Theo R Cwithin]

"In this room, which is unextraordinary in all respects, save those that deserve mention of some sort, is a being that neither crouches nor stands, and does so without any obvious expression of hostility or delight. This being is neither a true beast, nor a man, nor a goblin, though it has skin of a hue intermediate between a drab blue and a drabber yellow, and a face which scowls somewhat nonchalantly in the manner of a barnyard animal, or perhaps a rain barrel. It holds in what may or may not be accurately described as its hand a pastry, arguably a tart or a cake, but clearly neither. What do you do?"

 

[Herremann the Wise]

Anyone want to have a "worst homemade boxed text" contest?

I'd love to have Ceramic DM back but I think this would be fun.

You run into the big cavern past several boulders and feel enraged at a donkey being drowned by an assassin. As you look up into the darkness you see a black lich mouthing the horrible words of a spell.

I think that about transgresses every rule I can think of.

Best Regards
Herremann the Wise

 

[jonesy]

As you carefully sneak into the white round empty well lit room a rather large imposing centaur jumps out and surprises you by knocking you out with his mallet. Somehow this reminds you of home.

The party is unconscious. Roll for initiative.

 

[dvvega]

I have two generic examples of bad text that I have encountered over and over in published modules and thus a lot of home brews where the DM has mimicked published writers thinking they could guide him to be a better DM.

1)
I'm not sure the first time I encountered boxed text of this style, however it has appeared in more than one home-brew and in many published modules as well. It goes something like the following generic pattern ...

The caverns is described in great detail. Maybe a couple of paragraphs of detail. You can feel the dampness, see the mist, etc. Then at the end of the whole reading, which takes around 1 to 2 minutes at least, there is the added line ... and in the centre is a large Red Dragon.

I do not know about you however if I ever walked into a cavern that had a Dragon in the middle of the damned place, I would NOT care about the rest until I had dealt with the Dragon.

2)
Is it a grammar thing because every time the party enters a village they are greeted by the village people. That single line in a lot of boxed text starts my players dancing to YMCA or some such.

D

 

[Oryan77]

I do not know about you however if I ever walked into a cavern that had a Dragon in the middle of the damned place, I would NOT care about the rest until I had dealt with the Dragon.

This doesn't seem to bother me for a few reasons:

1. If the DM mentioned the Red Dragon at the beginning of the text, nobody is going to pay any attention to the rest of the text. In fact, players may even interrupt the boxed text just so they can "act first". From a DMs perspective, it is unnecessary and annoying when a player does that. If a DM is giving you time to view your surroundings (with boxed text) before anyone has made any actions, why would you sacrifice that free time?

2. As a player, I'd like to hear the description of the area, especially if there is a Red Dragon there. How can I come up with a good reaction if I don't know what my possibilities are? There may be something in the environment that I could use as an advantage if I need to deal with this dragon.

3. I understand he is just trying to spice things up by describing his environment. It may be a little long-winded, but the amount of time I spend listening to box text throughout the session can't be all that much. I'm not so high maintenance that I'm going to be critical of a DM that is just trying to help me out as a player with (what he thinks) to be some nice detailed descriptions of his game world.

The way I see it, the more info I get as a player, the better I will be able to react in game as a PC.