And the Winner of the 2004 Darwin Award Championship is Hector Sanchez. Based on a bet by the other members of his golfing threesome, Hector tried to wash his own testicles in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are just a bad mix. Sanchez actually managed to get up and straddle the ball washer machine near the Tee-box, and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by quickly spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the post of the ball washer was more than strong enough to support his body weight, and his scrotum sack was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez then broke a new $300.00 graphite shaft driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was attempting to use as a cane and walk back to his cart to seek medical assistance. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome was asked to leave the course. This last candidate wouldn't normally count, because the golfer didn't die. But because he cannot reproduce as a result of his qualifying act of stupidity, so they have allowed it. And he wins this year's contest! Obviously, a word to the wise is stay away from the golf ball washer machine when you're with beer drinking buddies!
