Lurker in need of help with psychology assignment

[Wulf Ratbane]

Come on. Do you have children? My daughter is super smart. She figures stuff out really quickly.

So the apple does fall far from the tree.

 

[Torm]

So the apple does fall far from the tree.

Okay, Wulf. You're on your own in this thread - I'm out. You keep failing too many Diplomacy checks.

 

[Crothian]

I was spanked but I have no kids and have no idea if I would spank them. But I do think there are far too many people who stick their noises into other families business by telling them what they can and can't do.

 

[Algolei]

Don't know about others, but I don't remember my groundings .... they were just a fact of life, happened to friends, didn't really phase us.

But I remember every spanking.

For me it's the opposite: I only remember a few of the spankings (the ones I didn't deserve), but I remember all of the groundings.

A spanking was an immediate punishment, a concise lesson. But for me a grounding lasted long after the feeling of contriteness had passed, so I resented it.

 

[Henry]

Im in my early 30's.

I was spanked as a child, as well as other discipline measures.

I do not have a child currently.

If I have a child in the future, Spanking will be part of the discipline measures used.

There is absolutely no valid argument for spanking children.

How about that my parents raised a courteous, generally law-abiding child who is a member in good standing of society, and if I had children I'd like to emulate my parents' example?

 

[Henry]

So the apple does fall far from the tree.

Wulf, let's be civil, please.

 

[der_kluge]

How about that my parents raised a courteous, generally law-abiding child who is a member in good standing of society, and if I had children I'd like to emulate my parents' example?

That's a false analogy, Henry. Are you saying that you can't raise a good member upstanding member of society who is law abiding if you *don't* spank them?

That's like saying you can't have morals if you aren't raised in a religious environment.

 

[Desdichado]

That's a false analogy, Henry. Are you saying that you can't raise a good member upstanding member of society who is law abiding if you *don't* spank them?

That's like saying you can't have morals if you aren't raised in a religious environment.

I think what he's saying is that he grew up in an environment in which he was occasionally spanked, he does not feel like he was abused, and in fact, he is quite happy the result of the way he was parented. And that he hopes to do as well by following the same parenting strategy. It's the same as many of the rest of us have said. It seems like you're putting words in the mouths of those who have not unilaterally condemned the practice of spanking. Clearly it's worked for parents for thousands of years ("spare the rod, spoil the child" not exactly being a spring chicken as far as sayings go) and I (and others) don't have much faith in this new breed of philosopher who wants to discard thousands of years of wisdom for a (IMO) faddish, PC and New Age unproven strategy of parenting.

 

[der_kluge]

I think what he's saying is that he grew up in an environment in which he was occasionally spanked, he does not feel like he was abused, and in fact, he is quite happy the result of the way he was parented. And that he hopes to do as well by following the same parenting strategy. It's the same as many of the rest of us have said. It seems like you're putting words in the mouths of those who have not unilaterally condemned the practice of spanking. Clearly it's worked for parents for thousands of years ("spare the rod, spoil the child" not exactly being a spring chicken as far as sayings go) and I (and others) don't have much faith in this new breed of philosopher who wants to discard thousands of years of wisdom for a (IMO) faddish, PC and New Age unproven strategy of parenting.

I don't think there's anything new age-ish about it. And I don't recall me ever saying that I thought anyone who spanked was wrong, or out of line, although the practice isn't necessarily legal in some states. That's a different topic of discussion. All I'm saying is that it's not necessary. And since when is "thousands of years of wisdom" right? People believed that the earth was flat for a long time, too, and that didn't make it right.

 

[Torm]

That's a false analogy, Henry. Are you saying that you can't raise a good member upstanding member of society who is law abiding if you *don't* spank them?

That's like saying you can't have morals if you aren't raised in a religious environment.

What I took from what he said was that he considers the good job his parents did to be the only "instruction manual" with any verifiable results that he has - not that it isn't possible to have other successful methods.

Parenting is such a subjective thing - you can have data that indicates that 95%, or whatever, of kids respond positively to a particular method of reward and punishment, and that still means that 5 kids out of a hundred would get screwed up if their parents tried to use those methods and blame the failure on the kids as though they were defective. They would be BAD parents, in truth, if they failed their kids that way, but "bad parents" by societal standards for failing to apply the "tried and true ways." It all kind of reminds me of the fable of the man and his donkey on the way into town - you can't please everyone, so do what you know is right.

Considered corporal punishment does not equal abuse. But the conversation is pointless, because it is so subjective and emotional a subject that I could never convince you of that, and you'd never convince me that I am wrong. And the fact that there are people in this thread who were spanked as children and consider it to have been abuse, and others who were and are thankful for the discipline it instilled, is just proof that neither one of us is right - except CASE BY CASE.

I keep trying to get out of this conversation, but I keep getting pulled back in.