Lurker in need of help with psychology assignment

[Torm]

...New Age unproven strategy of parenting.

Don't bring "New Age" into this - a lot of what people consider "New Age" is actually people trying to incorporate the "Old Ways" (pre-17th century, mostly) into their lives in a modern setting. And spare the rod, spoil the child was a standard, pre-17th century.

The "new ways" of parenting aren't BAD - I understand they come from the best of intentions, trying to eliminate abuse that people may not have been as aware of for most of history - but a lot of them are experimental, which isn't something you necessarily want to do with your kids (as a matter of fact, it is a crime in and of itself to experiment on humans), and they risk throwing out good proven historical methodology with the bathwater.

 

[Desdichado]

I don't think there's anything new age-ish about it. And I don't recall me ever saying that I thought anyone who spanked was wrong, or out of line, although the practice isn't necessarily legal in some states.

The legality of it is open to interpretation in pretty much every state. From what I've seen, folks who are too militant about applying child abuse laws to spanking are rarely successful in the courts as well. And you may not have said it was wrong per se, but you did say it was child abuse (which is wrong) and that it's not necessary. If that isn't the same thing, I don't know what is.

And since when is "thousands of years of wisdom" right? People believed that the earth was flat for a long time, too, and that didn't make it right.

Speaking of a flawed analogy...

 

[Desdichado]

The "new ways" of parenting aren't BAD - I understand they come from the best of intentions, trying to eliminate abuse that people may not have been as aware of for most of history - but a lot of them are experimental, which isn't something you necessarily want to do with your kids (as a matter of fact, it is a crime in and of itself to experiment on humans), and they risk throwing out good proven historical methodology with the bathwater.

Well, yeah, that was exactly my point. These methods are unproven; they've generally had, what, at best some scanty results across one or two generations tops? Since Dr. Spock or so? Considering that, at least in my opinion, old fashioned morality, responsibility, respect, and all that jazz have gone downhill fast over that same period, I'd say the results are far from promising.

Still, I'm "speaking" as if this were all some monumental truth or something like that; the real truth is that I can't even use the same strategies with success from one of my own kids to the next. At least not necessarily. All four of them have very different personalities and respond differently to different methods of teaching and instruction and discipline, so to be as good a parent as I can be, I have to tweak my methodology from kid to kid, and from age bracket to age bracket as they continue to grow.

There ain't no good manual for raisin' kids; it's a bit of a trial and error approach, I'm afraid.

 

[Wulf Ratbane]

Well, all I know is that when I do have kids, I want to have Joshua Dyal's baby.

 

[Henry]

I don't think there's anything new age-ish about it. And I don't recall me ever saying that I thought anyone who spanked was wrong, or out of line, although the practice isn't necessarily legal in some states. That's a different topic of discussion. All I'm saying is that it's not necessary. And since when is "thousands of years of wisdom" right? People believed that the earth was flat for a long time, too, and that didn't make it right.

d_K, you asked for a valid argument, and I gave you one - namely, that empirical evidence shows that spanking can be a valid part of child discipline, because if it weren't, it would never work, same as how "time outs" and removal of privileges can be. However, just as spanking doesn't work in all cases, neither do time-outs, groundings, or privilege removal work in all cases. I've known some children in my family who will laugh at such punishments, and simply walk away from them, get their little butts put BACK in time-out, and walk away AGAIN. It works - but not 100 percent of the time.

If it works for your family, then all is copacetic there - it works, plain and simple. But I also wouldn't be so quick to say that corporal punishment in child- discipline has no value, because the burden of evidence says otherwise. When you can prove to me that I was emotionally and physically damaged because my parents raised me with a ready hand and an occasional hickory switch when I was young and testing what I could get away with, then I'll be ready to listen. However, because I saw that loving hand FAR more than I saw the other one, I tend to think they had a pretty good strategy.

Side track - Ever see the TV Show Titus? When you talked about touching a hot stove I got this image of Christopher Titus (From the TV show "Titus") about how his dad raised him -

MOM:"No, no, Christopher..."
DAD:"SHH!" (Smiling) "you want to put the fork in the light socket? Go ahead, son..."
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!
DAD: (Smiling) "Won't do that again, will you?"

 

[Magonus]

1. Yes, on occasion.
2. Don't have kids yet, but would, on occasion.

 

[der_kluge]

I keep trying to get out of this conversation, but I keep getting pulled back in.

Same here.

We'd be better off arguing whether god existed. It'd be more fruitful.

 

[Desdichado]

Well, all I know is that when I do have kids, I want to have Joshua Dyal's baby.

Get in line, bub.

 

[Wulf Ratbane]

Ultimately the only authority one human being has over another is physical. You may not like it, but that's the truth.

And I'd much rather my children explore those boundaries and learn about the nature of that authority from me than from the police, or evil men.

 

[Torm]

We'd be better off arguing whether god existed. It'd be more fruitful.

You forget Who you're talking to - I definitely exist.

Unless of course, you meant some other god.