Magical swords that no one will make

[Frostmarrow]

Self-depreciating Greatsword.

"I'm really not that great. I'm nothing special. I mean, I take two hands, and a greataxe does as much damage -- that's something that's great, a greataxe. I mean look at that x3 crit, that's something you can call great. I've got nothing a dagger doesn't, and no one's calling them 'greatknives.'"

ROTFL

 

[the Jester]

Don't have much to add, but GAWDAM this is a funny thread!

 

[Epametheus]

Intelligent armor that bitterly resents getting scratched, and tries to compel its owner to keep it shiny and in top condition at all times (and also tries to prevent the owner from fighting, since battle would damage it).

 

[Ferret]

A pair of stilettos, who think they are the shoes and think they have a fashion sense. "That sword so doesn't suit!"

 

[Robbert Raets]

- A Ring of Invisibility that won't shut up. Even if you beg it to.
- A sword that was created by an alcoholist mage and demands that it's wielder is a tee-totaller....
- A sword that was created by a very, very drunk mage and has 'inherited' the effects of near-toxic blood alcohol levels.....
- Sherlock Holmes' pipe;
- Sherlock Holmes' violin......
- Excalibur's younger brother/sister.

 

[Darklone]

- Excalibur's younger brother/sister.

With an inferiority complex. "Put me into a stone please, ok? And could you ask a king then to draw me from there? Pleeeze?"

 

[Robbert Raets]

With an inferiority complex. "Put me into a stone please, ok? And could you ask a king then to draw me from there? Pleeeze?"

Exactly my point.

 

[Inconsequenti-AL]

A friendly weapon, with a helpful streak miles wide. It's also actually useful to the wielder - doesn't try to kill them, kill innocent bystanders, make them kill their friends or pick fights with 'things that are best left alone' - like Gold Dragons!

I don't think I've ever even heard of an intelligent weapon like that... Does no-one make them? Anyhoo, the novelty would probably make me throw it away!

OR

A scythe that insists it was the property of The Grim Reaper. It would have to be crappy enough to make that unlikely - i.e. whiny, inappapropriate enchantments (i.e. Merciful) and a special power of making unfunny comical illusions.

An intellegent Sword that insists it was created from the remains of a plowshare.

That's nifty - I think I'm actually going to use this one!

 

[Eccles]

This is torn straight out of a Warhammer game we played.

A magical sword called "Carnage Visors".

It protected its wielder from the horrific fear-causing effects of the undead by making the user blind to them.

Think "Joo Janta 2000 peril-sensitive sword"...

 

[Frostmarrow]

This is torn straight out of a Warhammer game we played.

A magical sword called "Carnage Visors".

It protected its wielder from the horrific fear-causing effects of the undead by making the user blind to them.

Think "Joo Janta 2000 peril-sensitive sword"...

Carnage Visors - The Cure.