At one point, we'd simplified minion attacks even further -- a group of minions would make one attack roll, and the damage would be based on the number of minions involved in the attack (for example, one minion would attack for 2 damage, so 4 minions would make an attack together, rolling once, to do 8 damage total).
Generally, it's the same average damage as rolling separately, but the language and timing got a little clunky, as we had to then consider that the minions would probably need to all act at the same time, which then created complexity when you wanted some minions to move and attack, but other minions to attack and then move... ultimately, rolling one attack for each minion felt right to most DMs. But we kept their damage flat, to keep the variance of minions lower.
Side effect: minions never get that "lucky hit" (crit). But they are only minions, after all.
now back to your regularly scheduled minion discussions....