Monsters of Suck

[Voadam]

I never even heard of a topiary guardian before this thread (except in The Shining ). . . what book is is in? I really like the idea of it.

I think that is in MMIII, one I don't have. A quick check at the WotC art gallery for that book should confirm it though.

 

[Shade]

In terms of modern monsters, I like them, but I can see how the jovoc could get some votes due to their sheer gimmicky nature.

Jovocs rule!

 

[rounser]

Wolf-In-Sheep's Clothing. One of my all-time faves yet it always gets a lot of complaints
Mimic. Ditto. Basically all the Gygaxian "That's not really a codpiece!" monsters are hated

These are okay if played correctly IMO...having been on the receiving end, PCs get peeved because DMs don't tend to play them very fairly (i.e. giving no giveaways that something's up whatsoever, because they so want the wolf-in-sheep's to work, whereas in D&D reality and retrospective player opinion it's done something that would spill a bean or two).

House hunters might have taken the mimic theme a bridge too far. Return to the Keep on the Borderland's "shy tower" and Hackmaster's cave entrance with teeth monster are in a similar vein.

 

[Shroomy]

I think that is in MMIII, one I don't have. A quick check at the WotC art gallery for that book should confirm it though.

It is indeed in the MMIII. I've used them before and I quite like them. However, I thought it was kind of a pain to apply the template due to some confusing wording and rules issues. Or maybe it was because I was drawing up the stats after my bed time.

 

[Mercule]

I'm going to stick my foot in and say, most aberrations, especially the beholder. Also, spawn of Tiamat. The flind have also always annoyed me.

 

[Alzrius]

There are a lot of Spelljammer monsters that deserve to be in this category. I don't mean the lovable weirdos like the giff or the dohwar either.

Things like the gameroid, which was a blatant rip-off from Japanese TV, or the space giant. Sheer suckage there.

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

I'm going to stick my foot in and say, most aberrations, especially the beholder. Also, spawn of Tiamat. The flind have also always annoyed me.

Flind should be a prestige class. I was horrified to see them as a monster in 3E.

 

[Gez]

I actually like the WiSC. You've got to forget all the rational baggage of the real world, and do away entirely with the cumbersome concepts of evolution and plausibility.

It's a fantasy world. Magic exists. Demons and devils and fey and aberrations and gods and wizards exist.

Come on, tell me the evolutionary plausibility of a species of monsters like the demons? No two races in that species are remotely alike, as far as anatomy is concerned, except for a lot of anthropomorphic convergence that doesn't seem to be dictated by anything, really. Oh, and they can mutate from one form to another, several times. And interbreed with anything. And they also evolved to be the embodiment of chaos and evil.

Demons are really monsters of suck, in a rational worldview.

Now suspend your disbelief some more. Take a more magical worldview. Magic. You know, things like spontaneous generation. Monsters are creatures that appear not because of "normal" events, but because there's an opening for them appearing. Just like a slab of meat left to rot will beget maggots, a dark and gloomy cave will beget shadow monsters. An abandoned necropolis will beget undead. A sinister forest near a town with naive and curious children will beget wolves-in-sheeps'-clothing. Any unexplored, unknown place will create monsters; because the unknown inspires fear, and fear is what creates monsters.

 

[Mercule]

Just like a slab of meat left to rot will beget maggots, a dark and gloomy cave will beget shadow monsters. An abandoned necropolis will beget undead. A sinister forest near a town with naive and curious children will beget wolves-in-sheeps'-clothing. Any unexplored, unknown place will create monsters; because the unknown inspires fear, and fear is what creates monsters.

Gez is my hero of the day. Old concept, but it kicked off the old creative juices all the same. Nicely worded.

 

[STARP_Social_Officer]

Cloakers.

You can use them exactly once, before your players twig and they will never, ever take chances again. If they see a cloak hanging on a hook, they'll set fire to it by default. What kind of stupid idea is the monster that looks like clothing anyway? Much better to use a phasm or a mimic - they can look like anything.

Cloakers. For sure.