I find this is best achieved by having more and more detailed rules, not by having less, so that the appropriate sub-system can be called up as necessary, and no one has to make a game design decision to resolve a situation, or if it is ultimately necessary, the GM can refer to the closest likely resolution mechanism with minor adjustment. Fundamentally, I want to engage the same parts of my brain that I use when playing a conventional board game when I play a TTRPG, just in a much broader gamespace, with a variable victory condition and a much more shifting endpoint, in addition to the whole roleplaying, embodying a character and exploring a fictional world element.
To paraphrase Brennan Lee Mulligan, I want to play a character who "wants to save the world as quickly and efficiently as possible" and then to be stymied/challenged by forces outside of my control that I can do my best to conquer. I play a lot of games, I don't want the one I play when I'm pretending to be an elf to not be an interesting one, just because I'm also pretending to be an elf.
We would probably hate trying to share a game - thankfully, we don't have to, and can instead simply enjoy chatting on here about the differences
I prefer having a simple set of rules that says "when a character attempts something that should not be an automatic success or failure, pick whatever attribute/skill combo fits best, decide the difficulty, and roll on this single chart that works for pretty much everything" so as not to need to figure out which rule applies.
When I play an RPG, I usually (but not always) want to engage the same parts of my brain as I do when writing a story, but with the added factor that I do not control anything other than the actions of my own character. The rules are just something the GM uses to help adjudicate success or failure of my actions, not something I want to be constantly thinking about as I play and figuring out rules-based strategies - I've got other alternatives where I can do that, I sit at the RPG table to help create a collaborative story with some fun over the chance our characters may fail spectacularly at their objectives. I'm not looking to make it a chess game with additional dimensions, or to strategize beyond "what would it make sense for me to do right now if I was in this character's body with their skills?", I want to use creativity over strategy, and have just as much fun (often more) trying to do that with an non-optimal character as with an optimal one. I don't want to consult the rules when making a decision about my action, the rules come afterwards for me in determining whether that action succeeds or not. My characters usually tend to be dropped into situations they never intended to be in, are not trained to be in, and don't want to be in. Or, I enjoy playing Frodo/Sam far more than Aragorn/Boromir
Occasionally, I may be in the mood to play an RPG with a more tactical combat feel. Usually, I meet that need through wargaming (with a heavy preference for skirmish games), but I will
sometimes do it in an RPG, just for a bit of variety.
But you know what? I love that this single hobby has options that suit both of us.