D&D 5E need to know if this will work as homebrew?

assembled out of UA and some of the posters here's donations in past threads I give you aberration race one (a better name is pending when I think of one or can make something that sounds right)

Creature Type. You are an Aberration
Size. You are Medium.
Speed. Your walk speed is 30 feet.
Age. ??? typically reach adulthood at age 20. They can live for almost 200 years.
Psionic Power. You learn one Cantrip from the Enchantment, Illusion, or Divination schools. Your casting ability is your strongest out of Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma.
Secondary Arms. You have two slightly smaller secondary arms below your primary pair of arms. The secondary arms function like your primary arms, with the
following exceptions:
• You can use a secondary arm to wield a weapon that has
the light property, but you can’t use a secondary arm to
wield other kinds of weapons.
• You can’t wield a shield with a secondary arm.
Aberrant hide. When you succeed on a Saving Throw, you absorb some of the magic or kinetic energy of the effect. As a reaction, you may spend a Hit Die to heal. If you are at maximum Hit Points, you gain Temporary Hit Points equal to the total rolled the temporary do not stack.
Darkvision. You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light and in darkness as if it were dim light. You discern colours in that darkness only as shades of grey.
Optional content
Languages. You speak common and deep speech

three - eyes stare out from an oversized cranium, six tentacles surround its wide mouth writhing when the creature is pleased.
a body covered in clammy skin, four arms with six digits, and long legs ending in wide splayed crescent toes.
They possess bony armour over their torsos and parts of their heads with what resembles gemstones set in them.
their bone plating comes in a variety of metallic shades, highlighted by bright flourishes of flesh.
 
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ART!

Legend
That seems pretty balanced to me. My only suggestions would be to more closely emulate the wording of similar abilities in official WOTC races. You've done that with Darkvision, but Secondary Arms reads a little awkwardly and could be shortened or made for efficient, wording-wise. the Aberrant Hide thing is cool - I don't recall seeing a racial feature like it, and it's not too powerful.
 

Stormonu

Legend
I think it would be wise to reword Psionic Power as:

Psionic Power You learn one Cantrip from the Enchantment, Illusion, or Divination schools. At character creation, you choose Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma to be the ability associated with this feature.

Also, aberrant hide is a little wonky. Since it triggers on being hit, I can't see you ever being at maximum hit points when it triggers (unless you somehow have immunity). Consider this rewording:

Aberrant Hide. You can absorb some small portion of magic or kinetic energy directed at you. As a reaction when you are hit by a spell or weapon attack, you can spend a hit die to reduce the damage you take from the blow. If you reduce the damage to 0, any additional hit points left over are instead turned into temporary hit points. You can use this ability a number of times equal to your proficiency modifier, and regain all uses after a long rest.

<Edit: missed that the original triggers on a successful saving throw. If you keep the original, it should be reworded a little more cleanly>
 

That seems pretty balanced to me. My only suggestions would be to more closely emulate the wording of similar abilities in official WOTC races. You've done that with Darkvision, but Secondary Arms reads a little awkwardly and could be shortened or made for efficient, wording-wise. the Aberrant Hide thing is cool - I don't recall seeing a racial feature like it, and it's not too powerful.
humorously the arms one is an exact copy of WotC thri-kreen rules for 5e
I can't take credit for aberrant hide beside the name as I believe I got it from one poster's Xenokin race.
I think it would be wise to reword Psionic Power as:

Psionic Power You learn one Cantrip from the Enchantment, Illusion, or Divination schools. At character creation, you choose Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma to be the ability associated with this feature.

Also, aberrant hide is a little wonky. Since it triggers on being hit, I can't see you ever being at maximum hit points when it triggers (unless you somehow have immunity). Consider this rewording:

Aberrant Hide. You can absorb some small portion of magic or kinetic energy directed at you. As a reaction when you are hit by a spell or weapon attack, you can spend a hit die to reduce the damage you take from the blow. If you reduce the damage to 0, any additional hit points left over are instead turned into temporary hit points. You can use this ability a number of times equal to your proficiency modifier, and regain all uses after a long rest.

<Edit: missed that the original triggers on a successful saving throw. If you keep the original, it should be reworded a little more cleanly>
thank you
 



What does this lovable little guy eat?
Why wou!d it join a group? Or is this for a specific type of campaign only, wht would that be?
given I am still working on back story and culture stuff I am uncertain
on food likely a mix of omnivore and something strange.

which I am sadly failing to think of, likely the burnout and depression stopping me from getting my goals done, any ideas that do not make them unable to be party members?
 

It eats organic living material and emotions, particularly fear. Therefore it must eat it's prey alive and in the most terrifying way possible (surprising the victim your dinner helps). The Aberration can survive on plants, but they're not very nourishing or tasty.
 
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Yaarel

Mind Mage
assembled out of UA and some of the posters here's donations in past threads I give you aberration race one (a better name is pending when I think of one or can make something that sounds right)

Creature Type. You are an Aberration
Size. You are Medium.
Speed. Your walk speed is 30 feet.
Age. Voidlings typically reach adulthood at age 20. They can live for almost 200 years.
Psionic Power. You learn one Cantrip from the Enchantment, Illusion, or Divination schools. Your casting ability is your strongest out of Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma.
Secondary Arms. You have two slightly smaller secondary arms below your primary pair of arms. The secondary arms function like your primary arms, with the
following exceptions:
• You can use a secondary arm to wield a weapon that has
the light property, but you can’t use a secondary arm to
wield other kinds of weapons.
• You can’t wield a shield with a secondary arm.
Aberrant hide. When you succeed on a Saving Throw, you absorb some of the magic or kinetic energy of the effect. As a reaction, you may spend a Hit Die to heal. If you are at maximum Hit Points, you gain Temporary Hit Points equal to the total rolled the temporary do not stack.
Darkvision. You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light and in darkness as if it were dim light. You discern colours in that darkness only as shades of grey.
Optional content
Languages. You speak common and deep speech

three - eyes stare out from an oversized cranium, six tentacles surround its wide mouth writhing when the creature is pleased.
a body covered in clammy skin, four arms with six digits, and long legs ending in wide splayed crescent toes.
They possess bony armour over their torsos and parts of their heads with what resembles gemstones set in them.
their bone plating comes in a variety of metallic shades, highlighted by bright flourishes of flesh.
Looks good.

The trick with multiple arms is optimizers use them to figure out ways to multiply damage output.

But designers are aware of this challenge, and modeling how other they design other creatures should be fine.
 

It eats organic living material and emotions, particularly fear. Therefore it must eat it's prey alive and in the most terrifying way possible (surprising the victim your dinner helps). The Aberration can survive on plants, but they're not very nourishing or tasty.
pure fear feels too basic maybe two more as well just to mix it up some more? like hate and something more positive?
 


Maybe it becomes what it eats?

So, it tends to become aggressive around hostiles and helpful toward friendlies?
I am thinking mostly passive for feeding on emotions with a near addictive more active form as it gives both depth and darkness with a way out for more good minded players?
 

ART!

Legend
any thoughts on the description and what could make it better?
Back when I was whipping up homebrew races, I noticed that the flavor text in the PHB follows this general structure:

1 short paragraph, encapsulating origins, traits, themes, relations
2 paragraphs detailing appearance and physical qualities
2 paragraphs about their perspective and attitudes
2 paragraphs about their culture, interactions, and relations
1 paragraph about why and how they go adventuring
 


Stormonu

Legend
Perhaps they consume (emotional) attachments? For example, they may consume the emotion a person attachs to a favorite book; conservative individuals will siphon off the attachment over time so the bond can rebuilt/renewed. Eventually though, the item will turn it into an ordinary object no one cares about. More selfish individuals do it over a shorter interval, or may even consume the item in question as a quick feast. Truly evil individuals may draw off or consume living individuals, causing the emotional attachments (or memory of the existence of) the individual to fade away.
 

Back when I was whipping up homebrew races, I noticed that the flavor text in the PHB follows this general structure:

1 short paragraph, encapsulating origins, traits, themes, relations
2 paragraphs detailing appearance and physical qualities
2 paragraphs about their perspective and attitudes
2 paragraphs about their culture, interactions, and relations
1 paragraph about why and how they go adventuring
helpful but will take a while to do will first need a name to help solidify the idea may be some art in the new year as well.
got at least one paragraph for appearance done so I have a start.
It can be any heightened state of emotion: Joy, grief, terror, arousal. The more extreme the emotion, the healthier the food.

OR

It can be a bottom feeder type like the otyugh or Zoidberg
Perhaps they consume (emotional) attachments? For example, they may consume the emotion a person attachs to a favorite book; conservative individuals will siphon off the attachment over time so the bond can rebuilt/renewed. Eventually though, the item will turn it into an ordinary object no one cares about. More selfish individuals do it over a shorter interval, or may even consume the item in question as a quick feast. Truly evil individuals may draw off or consume living individuals, causing the emotional attachments (or memory of the existence of) the individual to fade away.
all are interesting possibilities the trick is picking one and sticking with it.
 

Stormonu

Legend
You have "Voidlings" in the age block, was that not intended?

I ran a couple name iterations through a random monster name generator (then an obscure language in google translate) - what about the Nightdawn (P'ha-kizubar)?
 

You have "Voidlings" in the age block, was that not intended?

I ran a couple name iterations through a random monster name generator (then an obscure language in google translate) - what about the Nightdawn (P'ha-kizubar)?
yeah, that was unintentional as I said I built it out of ua and things shared with me voidling was one of the things, I altered it anyway so it is not a copy but things got leftover.
cool idea but a bit long and I have no idea how to pronounce it, I am wanting it to be at max of three syllables so it fits in better.
 


ART!

Legend
any ideas on the description front as I am struggling to see what the second paragraph would even be about?
I had trouble fleshing the descriptions out, too. That paragraph structure forces you to think things through - I came up with aspects of my homebrew races that I might not have thought of because I felt I had to fill two paragraphs with their culture, interactions, and relations - but don't feel married to it. The stuff on relations could go with the "why and how they go adventuring" section, for instance. It really just depends on how much you want to hew to the format in the PHB.
 

Dungeon Delver's Guide

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