Nervousness over meeting the family, how to get past it?

[Darkness]

the little snot keeps trying to convince Brooke that she can do better and trying to hook her up with the "hot guys" they go to school with

Does she have a point there or is she wrong?

 

[Ashwyn]

Does she have a point there or is she wrong?

Everyone can do better in someone's eyes.

 

[Mark]

Is there any method to get past the INSANE case of nerves I'm developing?

Despite colloquial wisdom along conspicuous lines, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, imagine them in their underwear...

 

[WanderingMonster]

You'll likely see these people only once or twice more in your life if you stay with Brooke, so don't worry too much.

Not including holidays, reunions, weddings, funerals, birthdays, showers; once or twice sounds about right.

Meeting the family is a BIG deal. Who do you think Mom and Dad listen to on important matters? YMMV, but family is a HUGE part of our life. Being nervous means you care. If they can figure that out, then you're good to go.

 

[Dirigible]

Despite colloquial wisdom along conspicuous lines, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, imagine them in their underwear...

Except the girlfriend, one would presume.

 

[Djeta Thernadier]

OK, I'm going down on the 23rd to meet my girlfriend Brooke's family. And I mean her WHOLE family. I've already met her mom, her stepdad, and her younger sister; her mom and her stepdad love me, her sister's ambivalent(the little snot keeps trying to convince Brooke that she can do better and trying to hook her up with the "hot guys" they go to school with). Now, I get to meet the rest of them. Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and friends of the family(including a guy that Brooke had a little fling with who already has decided he hates me, apparently).

Is there any method to get past the INSANE case of nerves I'm developing? I know that showing up high out of my mind isn't a good idea but that's always been my traditional cure for a case of nervousness(or it was before I gave the stuff up about a year ago). I REALLY want her family to like me, and I'm not sure what to do. Should I just show up, chill out, and not say much?

Well, There is no real method to get over the nerves, but I have to say - I think it's kind of odd that she wants you to meet a guy she had a previous intimate relationship with. I don't meet ex girlfriends of guys I've ever dated. It's just a little rule I have because I know myself and I know it makes ME very uncomfortable to the point of physical illness. (I've had a lot of guys leave me for exes, so maybe that's why). Anyway, I think it's best for all involved. And I would never put my boyfriend in a situation where he had to meet one of my exes. It's an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved, most of the time. If my boyfriend asked me to meet someone he had that sort of relationship with, I'd politely decline. I mean, he can still see her if he feels the need to, but if he expected me to want to be her best buddy, I'd have a problem with it. That's just my opinion and I know a lot of people will disagree. :shrug: I guess, if it doesn't bug you though, then just ignore him or be polite when you meet him. I've noticed men tend to be a lot cooler with meeting exes than women. (Most of my female friends feel the same way I do. Most of the guys are like, "whats the big deal". Maybe it's in our genes.)

As for meeting the rest of the family, just be yourself. Avoid controversial issues and if someone says something you think is silly or dumb, ignore it.
But don't be fake. Try to find something light to discuss with them. If you're at someone's house, maybe comment on something in the house you find interesting, whether it's a piece of art or their stereo system or their lawn. People love to talk about their stuff. Another good thing to talk about if it comes up is travel. Who doesn't love to retell their vacation ? So if someone mentions travel or something like that (that you see as a good hook into talking about something mutually interesting yet harmless) grab it and ask questions.

Pets and children are another good topic. People love to tell pet stories.

Brooke's sister sounds very immature and silly. It sounds like she is the one causing the most distress here and I think you really just have to ignore it, and kill her with kindness. Snooty people HATE it when you are ridiculously nice to them.

One thing I have found in my relationship now is that his family is VERY different from mine. They are all very close, there are way more of them than in my family and they get together often. I have little in common with any of them but I am okay with going to their gatherings. I usually talk to them about the topics I mentioned above (travel, pets, children etc.). Also, even though there's a lot of people there, I am usually just with a small group. And talk to the children if there are any. Nothing makes a family like you more than being able to entertain their kids.

My family on the other hand is very small. And they love to talk politics and debate and stuff.

Good luck and I'm sure it will be fine.

 

[Heretic Apostate]

Despite colloquial wisdom along conspicuous lines, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, imagine them in their underwear...

So, you should imagine them naked? (snipping out some stuff...)

You are one sick individual, Mark...

 

[blackshirt5]

Does she have a point there or is she wrong?

Physically, she could do better than me(she's beautiful; we've all seen the "pigtails" picture taken of me by my ex-girlfriend, methinks), but I treat her great, which is what matters.

Djeta, they hooked up ONCE; DJ's gonna be there because he's her mom's friend's nephew, who's a friend of the family. And his cousin Bella, who's a friend of Brooke's, already promised me and her that she'd work to keep DJ away from us(although she says she doesn't think ANYONE in the family would mind if I doubled him over and put him out; apparently he's a self-important skirt chasing SOB with such an ego as to make Angcuru look positively humble my comparison, and patience is wearing thin).

And speaking of Jeremy(Angcuru), what're you smoking? Family is important.

So, you should imagine them naked? (snipping out some stuff...)

You are one sick individual, Mark...

AUGH!!!!!!!! *runs headfirst into wall*

And yes, Hillary does have a problem. It's called being a 14 year old girl. She's shallow. I just can't stand the fact that she's trying to get Brooke to break up with me. Although it makes me feel better that Brooke's two older sisters like me.

 

[Djeta Thernadier]

Beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. I don't know what you look like, nor does it matter to me. But to say she can physically do better than you is silly. What makes a good looking guy? I certainly don't know. Some men I think are attractive, others are just boring looking, and some are downright scary. But I couldn't give you a description.

Contrary to what men think, women are not all interested in tall dark muscle men who all look like clones of each other. I'm sure Brooke doesn't think she can "do physically better than you". Because she's with you, and to her, you're the best looking guy she knows.

 

[blackshirt5]

Beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. I don't know what you look like, nor does it matter to me. But to say she can physically do better than you is silly. What makes a good looking guy? I certainly don't know. Some men I think are attractive, others are just boring looking, and some are downright scary. But I couldn't give you a description.

Contrary to what men think, women are not all interested in tall dark muscle men who all look like clones of each other. I'm sure Brooke doesn't think she can "do physically better than you". Because she's with you, and to her, you're the best looking guy she knows.

Yeah, that's what's scary; this girl thinks I'm positively hot; it takes a real effort out of BOTH of us to behave and not be on each other like rutting dogs in heat.

And I'd post a picture, but I'd rather try to get a decent one WITHOUT pigtails in it, before I do.