D&D 5E New Spells

[pukunui]

According to Mike Mearls, this is a list of new spells WotC is going to include in the next 5e supplement (except for "Song of the Doom Goom", which is going to be the title of one of next year's adventures):

Mister of Light
Storm of the gifling
Song of goom
Forceful Boor
Chorus of the dave
Maine storm
Frames of Death
Song of the doom goom
Death’s Death’s Proud Bear
Wall of Distraction
Date wards
Plant of Peace
Shield of Farts
Song of the darn
Ward of Snade the Pood Beast
Ice shop
Primal Rear
Summon Storm Bear
Divine Boom
Soul of the bill
Charm of the dave
Spirit of the Spirit
Fire shop
Song of blord
Song of distraction
Forceful Force
Spirit Boating
Song of the ball
Hail to the Dave
Crusading Disk
Summon ass
Call to the Daring
Treeking of Star
Grasping Light
Clinging blade
Primal Prayer Bear
War Cape
Find Strike
Song of the Unworthy
Gate Sail
Icon of Thorns
Song of the door
Star warper
Stone of Death
Chilled arrow
Storm of the dave
Fark Mate
Charm of the cods
Death of the Sun
Greater flick
Curse Clam
Claming Blow
Cursing wink
Conjure Mare
Remorse?
Conjure Bark
Darkworm Colt
Daving fire
Healing of Bat
Mordenkainen’s lucubrabibiboricic angion

 

[pukunui]

"Shield of Farts" is my favorite.

"Song of the Unworthy" and "Cursing Wink" actually sound like decent bard spells.

Do you suppose "Plant of Peace" conjures up some cannabis?

"Death of the Sun" sounds like an epic level spell that Orcus would just love to get his hands on ...

 

[Enevhar Aldarion]

So you did get that the whole list is a joke and not legit, right?

 

[pukunui]

[MENTION=6818233]Enevhar Aldarion[/MENTION]: Calling these a joke is insulting to the neural network that came up with them. Don't hate it just because it likes Dave more than it likes you.

 

[CapnZapp]

So you did get that the whole list is a joke and not legit, right?

No! :

Sent from my C6603 using EN World mobile app

 

[Bitbrain]

Joke or not, these are pretty good.

Shield of Farts. Give me some Ice Cream and I can cast this one in real life.

Star Warper, Death of the Sun. Okay, these sound awesome.

Divine Boom . . .
Did Mearls ever play Exile: Escape from the Pit?
There was actually a 7th level priest spell in the Exile computer game series called (I kid you not) Divine Thud.

 

[jgsugden]

I'm waiting for someone to write these up and release them on the Guild.

 

[Enevhar Aldarion]

[MENTION=6818233]Enevhar Aldarion[/MENTION]: Calling these a joke is insulting to the neural network that came up with them. Don't hate it just because it likes Dave more than it likes you.

Heh, the way people read Twitter, I do wonder how many people did not get he was quoting someone else and thought he was being legit.

Besides, I had to make sure the Kiwi got the American jokes in that. ;-)

 

[pukunui]

Besides, I had to make sure the Kiwi got the American jokes in that. ;-)

Don't tell anyone, but I'm actually an American.

 

[Tormyr]

shield of farts

Hm. Conjuration...Evocation...Necromancy?