OK - the quest for objective DCs is not done.
What I tried to outline in my initial post is something akin to this while also conveying that the developers clearly meant for the action resolution mechanics of the Ability Check system to (a) be framed objectively around phenomena grounded in the setting and (b) bear a consistently applied and fairly recognizable (and learnable) resemblance to earth physics (the kind of system that [MENTION=23935]Nagol[/MENTION] has historically advocated for in D&D and more recently [MENTION=6775031]Saelorn[/MENTION] and [MENTION=6787650]Hemlock[/MENTION] ).
They evidence for this is overwhelming.
1) The developers talked about and constantly reiterated (a) during the development and playtest phase.
2) Much of 5e's design is pushback against 4e. With respect to noncombat resolution, this includes pushback against (i) abstract conflict resolution, (b) subjective system machinery/procedures (DCs and "going straight to the action" - the encounter/conflict-charged scene as the exclusive locus of play) and antagonism (obstacles, NPCS) centered around the PCs current level and the genre conceits of that tier of play. Bounded accuracy and the objective system machinery and antagonism anchored in the setting (rather than being PC-centric) is the manifestation of this pushback.
3) The "natural language" interpretation (as I tried to outline in my lead post) of the rules text connotes only this. It doesn't connote a genre logic interpretation.
4) Even if we want to to attempt to interpret the text as promoting genre logic in the procedures of the Ability Check system ("the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence"), we need only look at 5e's baseline assumption of Heroic Fantasy (DMG 38) for its genre conceits. Like many components of the text, the passage isn't terribly revealing, but where it is, it is very much so:
a) Heroes come from ordinary backgrounds.
b) The genre is that of the Forgotten Realms novels.
This is sharply contrasted with the Mythic and Wuxia "Flavors of Fantasy" depicted later. The heritage/backgrounds and capabilities of heroes in those two genres break sharply with the vanilla "Heroic Fantasy" tropes. Furthermore, basic "Toril physics" are exactly that of our earth physics (while disregarding my usual complaints of incoherency between certain monsters and martial heroes...you know them well at this point). Consequently, mundane folks and martial heroes are bound by that of our own system.
The rules lose me at this point because they don't tell me how I'm meant to judge whether or not something is uncertain. Does this mean "I can think of a way it might fail?" Well, that's true for spellcasting too - the caster might sneeze while uttering the magic words, or be stung by a bee, or whatever - but we don't normally roll dice for that.
Does it mean "I, the GM, haven't decided what the outcome should be"? That's a pretty hardcore rule for a RPG!
Does it mean something else? Dunno. I don't see how it can mean "Has X% chance to fail if attempted by this character", because sometimes I'm meant to set DCs even though a PC might succeed even on a roll of 1 (eg they're already pretty good, then someone casts guidance and a bard gives them inspiration).
I tried my best to be charitable in my reading of the tea leaves, but I certainly agree that transparency in "uncertainty handling" is definitely not a strong spot (for my purposes) for 5e. Again though, I'm certain [MENTION=996]Tony Vargas[/MENTION] (among others) will champion this as a feature, not a bug. 5e is intentional about its vagaries. It is a dead sprint away from "Skip the gate guards and get to the fun!" You will not find the clarity and tightness of play procedures (and resolution mechanics integrated with feedback systems) that you will find in Powered By the Apocalypse, Cortex+, BW/Torchbearer systems. This is by design!
Perhaps this is best seen as an infelicity of drafting.
Could very well be. Despite 4e's clarity, coherency, and transparency, it still bore some competing editorial voices and text clumsiness here and there.
Others in this thread feel that the "natural language" inclusion of the descriptor "reasonable" (which appears to connote subjectivity in handling) in the same area where the "natural language", objective qualification of tasks as "easy", "nearly impossible" (etc) isn't a clumsy introduction of opacity (or outright incoherency). Its just...natural?
If I have to have an opinion on it, I guess I would just say it doesn't make things more clear to me!
I think the number of 5e GMs who would adopt your procedure without having some exposure to Dungeon World (or maybe some comparable system) is pretty close to zero. I think it would be very hard to get that just out of the books. Which is not to say that it's bad, but if that's what the designers intended as on possible way of running the game, they could have made their intentions a bit more clear! (The 4e rulebooks sometimes had the same problem.)
EDIT: Also, the fact that a high-level warrior has a better chance of pushing over the tree than the ogre puts pressure on the coherence of the fiction more generally. If the 17th level gnome fighter is better able to push over trees than the ogre, what does that tell us about that gnome, and his/her prodigious power that is utterly belied by his/her smallness? D&D has always had issues with this sort of thing, at least on the margins (qv Gygax's discussion of the hit points of a high level fighter compared to a warhorse), but in AD&D even most high level warriors were probably not as strong as an ogre (18/00), and if they were it was because they'd used a wish or a magic tome or something else that made them, quite explicitly, enchanted beings. (Like the weirdly powered knights in Arthurian legend.) Whereas the 5e gnome can get there by dint of nothing but levelling in a non-magical class.
4e tried to tackle this through the idea of epic tier. I can't say I've got a good handle on how 5e makes sense of it.
Again, I agree. And I certainly don't think the GMs I mentioned above would use it.
Nonetheless, if I were creating a (roughly because it integrates with the very non-granular improvised action machinery of 5e) codified module for consistent (within CR) handling of improvised actions that produced dynamic play and interesting decision-points for players, that is how I would do it:
1) Ability check. Success equals no fallout and proceed to 2. Failure equals some sort of consequence that introduces one or two thematic, tactically compelling opening to a PC (or PCs) that often (but not always) comes with some sort of risk or trade-off.
2) Use the improvised Action tables of the tier for attack or saving throw.
3) Use the Improvised Action tables of the tier for the damage expression and step it back for AoE and step it back for a simple rider.
Done.