Ok, then ... how WOULD the nine alignments deal with kender?

[Magius del Cotto]

L: The kender would frustrate these the most. They may be able to tolerate them or even help them out for a while, but they probably won't make friends with any Kender.
N: More tolerant of them, but still get frustrated by the Kender's nature. Friendship is possible, but only on a case by case basis.
C: Most chaotic people would love the Kender. They embody everything they hold dear: freedom, innocence, and love of life. Probably wouldn't want to bring any along for the ride (well, after the first time...), but they wouldn't mind hanging around the Kender villages at all (well, after emptying their pockets, that is...).

 

[Sir Hawkeye]

the opinion of Sir Rale Hawkeye (CG)

Kender are great fun if one takes certain precautions. Firstly, Anything of vital importance or irreparable danger should be kept secure and, if possible, made to appear uninteresting. Secondly, certain expendable and interesting objects should be kept less secure (at the top of one's pack, on one's belt, etc.). Once properly prepared, I find it utterly hilarious to travel with kender, as their effects on one's less enjoyable acquaintances is priceless (note: this is best done in an area of low population density).
They are also quite companionable

 

[Rhialto]

My opinion...

A Lawful Good person will pray to Heironeous (or the equivalent god) for the patience to withstand the kender.

A Neutral Good person will pray to Elhonna (or the equivalent god) for a way to peacefully deal with the kender.

A Chaotic Good person will pray to Kord (or the equivalent god) for the kender to be transported somewhere far, far away.

A Lawful Neutral person will pray to Saint Cuthbert (or the equivalent god) for the kender to recieve his just desserts.

A Neutral person will pray to Obad-Hai (or the equivalent god) for the ability to understand the kender. Or failing that, the sudden appearance of some large, kender-eating beast.

A Chaotic Neutral person will pray to Olidammara (or the equivalent god) for a chance to work the kender over in an alley.

A Lawful Evil person will pray to Hextor (or the equivalent god) for the strength to wipe out the kender.

A Neutral Evil person will pray to Nerull (or the equivalent god) for some vile disease that will wipe out the kender. In a sublimely painful manner.

A Chaotic Evil person will pray to Erynthul (or the equivalent god), sending him their thanks for alowing them to encounter something so--satisfying to destroy. And then they'd kill a few more kender.

 

[Henry]

Re: A sad conclusion

There will be immediate hostility between kender and all the other races and nations.
This hostility will escalate rapidly into war.
The war will escalate into genocide.

This will happen even if ALL the other races and nations in the Setting are of good alignment only.

If the non-kender win, the kender will become extinct (except for a few survivors kept in confinement.)

However, remember that there is only one community of kender (and a quite small one) in Krynn - and that is Kendermore. Most Kender are isolated and not intermingled with the rest of society.

The only Kender otherwise encountered are wanderlusted kender, and these act like gypsies - never staying in one place for long. If a kender stole something, chances are they'd be gone well before the victim ever noticed.

Even so, one thing in the rules made clear is that kender rarely stole anything of value - when they did, it was usually a magic trinket of hidden value, and it led to something far greater than just "someone seeking to track them down and kill them."

So, we have a race, small in number, who wanders constantly, and rarely steals anything of serious value - I seriously doubt genocide would result. At most, all shopkeepers might kick all kender out of their shops the moment they saw them - and kender are far too A.D.D. - prone to hold grudges; chances are they'd find the next nearest neat-looking thing or place and be on their way.

 

[Henry]

Now, for the serious answer:

The Lawful Good person would attempt to give the kender a fair trial, before killing him.

The Neutral Good person would try to see the good in him, before killing him.

The Chaotic good person would give him a stern warning in order to preserve their personal space - and THEN kill him.

The Lawful Neutral person would order him to stand in an orderly fashion on the gibbet, be sure the rope was tight, and not to talk back.

The True neutral person would count his money and all personal belongings, before killing the kender just as a preventative measure.

The Chaotic Neutral person would tear his hair out and go mad with trying to get back all of the items the kender stole from him - before killing said kender.

The Lawful Evil person would put the kender to the rack to make the kender confess his crimes. After all, balls of string, pretty-colored sticks, and chips of blue glass are hard to come by these days.

The Neutral evil person would put the kender to the rack because today is Thursday, and Thursday is Rack Day.

And FINALLY, the Chaotic Evil person would begin flipping through the Book of Vile Darkness and taking notes, before trying to kill the kender.

 

[Dinkeldog]

LG: Kill the kender to protect the sanity of all around them.
NG: Kill the kender because it's the right thing to do.
CG: Kill the kender because they're annoying.
LN: Kill the kender because they can't live with others.
N: Kill the kender as practice for when something important needs to be killed.
CN: Kill the kender out of jealousy.
LE: Kill the kender to get experience to become more powerful.
NE: Kill the kender because it's the right thing to do.
CE: Breed kender for release into the outside world to annoy everyone else.

Really, Edena, I'm surprised you'd have to ask.

 

[Edena_of_Neith]

(chuckles)

Yes, in a humorous campaign I could see a place for kender ... or in a world with a real sense of humor.
After all, kender were never meant that seriously, or meant to be taken that seriously.

- - -

My dark assessment above assumes a typical campaign world, though, not Krynn or a humorous setting.
This typical setting, is a serious setting.
In this setting, many nations exist around the kender nation. Most of these are non-good nations.

The following sequence of events occurs:

1: Kender travelling outside of their nation into the surrounding nations are attacked and killed, or imprisoned, or sent back to the kender nation.
2: This situation endures for a while.
3: Then one of the non-good nations gets tired of the kender nation, and invades it, intending conquest.
4: Initially, the kender consider this quite exciting. However, as the horror of war sinks inevitably in (even to their heads), the kender start fighting back on the same grim basis as their foes are fighting.
5: The war escalates, the now Afflicted Kender driving the non-good nation back.
6: The war further escalates, and becomes genocidal.
7: All the other nations around the kender nation are pulled into the war. Some stand with the kender, because they were always enemies of the non-good nation (they do not stand with the kender for the kender.) Others stand with the non-good nation.
8: There is continental war, leading to widespread destruction and death.
9: The Afflicted Kender lose. Their nation is wiped out ... OR ... the Afflicted Kender win. They begin an awful, brutal occupation of the nation that invaded them (the idea of rulership by children driven into savagery and madness by the attempted murder of them all, is enough to make me shudder.)
10: Assuming the kender won (above), the other nations surrounding the kender nation and the occupied nation, go to war against the kender to stop their behavior towards those they defeated.
11: The war begins again, more ferocious and awful than ever before.
12: The Afflicted Kender lose. They are obliterated ... OR ... the Afflicted Kender win over ALL the other nations, and begin an EXTREMELY BRUTAL AND HATE FILLED occupation of all the other countries.

The kender behavior breeds anger among the others peoples.
The anger breeds hate.
Hate breeds war.
War breeds horror - massacre and rape, pillage and mass destruction.
The innocent nature of kender is destroyed, they become like abused children - filled with anger and hate. They become Afflicted Kender.
The entire region is reduced to ashes and ruins.
Entire races become extinct.

This is not Ansalon, Krynn, remember.
This is a campaign setting more akin to Greyhawk, where NPCs have a much harsher attitude in general towards behavior such as typical kender exhibit.