"older" gamers

[DonaQuixote]

You know who you are! I don't mean a specific age group so much as a stage of life.

Anyway, I started this thread looking for advice from folks who have experienced what I am experiencing right now -- husband and I are off in the professional world, with bosses and coworkers who, if they knew what roleplaying was at all, would believe us to be incomprehensibly infantile for still playing. Even former gamers scoff. We have a hard time finding new players who aren't substantially younger than us, which is o.k. to some extent but makes for some interpersonal strangeness. Images of that "old" guy who still lived with his dad and (perhaps unjustly) freaked out all the girls in our college LARP dance menacingly through our heads at times. We look at each other occasionaly wondering how we could still be sitting around this table with dice when we should be cleaning the bathroom or watering the lawn.

But there's no way in hell we're giving it up!

So how do you keep it going? Where do you find other gamers "your age," how do you nurture a gaming group with your particular maturity level, or learn to deal with being the oldest person around the table? Or what else do you do?

No disparagement meant towards "younger" gamers -- I've been there too!

 

[Crothian]

I found older gamers here. I was looking for people in my area, made a post about it and a week later I meets some great people around my age.

 

[SmokestackJones]

Hey Dona,

It's a struggle. I have no regular gaming group at the present time, am underemployed and, while I don't really worry about the age gap (I'm 47), I do have a serious problem with the maturity level/mental stability of the folks I find.

For a corrolary article, I refer you to a similar thread I posted on Nutkinland: http://www.nutkinland.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2243

-SJ

 

[Varianor Abroad]

So how do you keep it going?

Message board games partly. Other couples that we've met who game. Keeping in touch with old college friends and getting together every couple months for a big marathon Saturday game.

Where do you find other gamers "your age," how do you nurture a gaming group with your particular maturity level, or learn to deal with being the oldest person around the table? Or what else do you do?

Internet, or through friends who express an interest. I think sometimes it's better to introduce the curious in your peer group to the hobby. If you already get along with and like them, why not see if they'll share your interests in it?

 

[Mythmere]

Playing with the younger gamers, but I found some who are only six or so years younger than me (37); so, I've got kids from junior high to first grade, and they've got kids in cribs and watching Teletubbies. Close enough.

 

[Turanil]

I know what you are speaking about!!

I am myself 42 years old! Plus being an old gamer in France, is far more difficult than being an old gamer in the US. Fortunately I have a group of players. One of them is 41, while all the others are around 30... There is a couple of gamers in our group (must be around 33-35 I suppose), who come to play with their oldest child (8 years old). I find that really great.

Nonetheless, I am careful to never tell of this overwhelming passion for rpg to anybody outside my gaming group. People wouldn't understand. Anyway, I remember of an old gamer (almost 50 years old), when I was myself only about 25-27. I often wondered if he ever kept playing at all.

So lets jump to the conclusion of this post: If per chance an old D&D gamer (i.e.: 35+) living in Paris -France- is reading this post, do not hesitate to contact me if you are searching for a group!

 

[Len]

I found my current group through http://www.rpgregistry.com/. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to find anyone over 16, but I ended up in a group of experienced adult gamers.

The other place I found plenty of grown-ups was Neverwinter Connections. That's online gaming with Neverwinter Nights, but the people there emphasize role-playing and there are plenty of DM-run games. There are quite a few parents there who find NWN convenient because they can play at home.

Len - 39 and holding

 

[DaveStebbins]

Part of it is not caring what other people think about gaming. I don't spend my workday talking about D&D, but I have a couple of prints from an old Frazetta calander on my cubicle walls and a paper d20 made from a B size sheet of paper (11" x 17", cut out and folded to about 4 or 5 inches in diameter) and a small gargoyle on top of my monitor. People who comment are all potential gaming buddies. Some have gamed, some play computer RPGs, others just enjoy the genre or fantasy movies.

We currently have a group of six or seven people (one person has been absent for a year or so while he finished up his masters degree). We're all between 31 and 42 (I'm the oldest) and we're all parents. Except for one guy's wife and another guy one of us met at the dermatologist, we all work for the same company. The only real problem we have is that our 'grown-up' schedules and obligations mean we only play once a month. Several of us would like to play more, but we're lucky if we can meet twelve times a year to game.

My advice is not to talk about gaming constantly, but don't hide the fact that you game. If people ask about it, just say it's like poker night or game night, only with a different type of game.

 

[dogboy]

Us "old timers"

Having a similar problem right now. I play with a group of seven. Five of us are
the same age (thirties) and the other two are younger. What has become a
problem is our schedules. Getting everyone together on the same day is a
monumental task and ensuring that there are frequent meetings is imposible.
I think there are actually lots of gamers out there in the older category, but
finding those that are able to put RPGs at the top of the priority pile is a very
hard task indeed. I'm sure that those with kids would love to play more if they could. The only thing I can suggest is mention that you would like to
meet older gamers in your local RPG store. I have been surprised to find out
that the people working there have lots of names of players but just don't
put that info out. Good luck.

 

[kamosa]

Look to something like Yahoo Groups

My wife and I are in the same boat as you. We recently found a group by posting to the a local Yahoo Groups for gamers. All we did was post a little nondescript biographical info and say that we were "older gamers" that were looking to game with adults. Pretty quickly we had a couple offers to play.

Just be up front about what you are looking for in a gaming group and get your request out there. You'll be surprised how many older groups are looking for new "older" blood in them.