I think "not wanting to kill things and take their stuff" is completely orthogonal here. In any edition of D&D, non-combat resolution is not constrained by a tight action economy, and so whether healing is a "minor" action or a "standard" action has no bearing on its efficacy.
My main point of agreement with @
Eric V is in respect of the "healing to death" - what you're actually describing is an inability to manage action surges (presumably due to inexperience). It seems to me to be similar to an AD&D player complaining that s/he was "healed to death" because the cleric spent all his/her Cure Light Wounds spells healing 1 hp or 2 hp injuries, and hence had none left when a character suffered a 10 hp injury and hence was dropped to negatives and dying.
As far as providing support in combat is concerned, I can only assume you weren't making robust use of the "standard action to trigger a saving throw" option, nor (presumably) did your GM put you in situations in which there were interesting things to do with your standard action while your friends beat up on things. (Despite there being plenty of GMing advice to this effect in the 4e DMGs.) Which actually connects to the other strand of discussion on this thread.