[OT] A joke a post.

[Pielorinho]

I don't get it, what does that have to do with chickens?

I'm afraid I can't answer that without getting in real trouble with Eric's Grandma. Of course, if Colonel Sanders only eats hens, then I'm off-base anyway.

Daniel

 

[kingpaul]

A frog jumps into a bank and hops up to the loan officer. The name plate identifies her as Patricia MacIntyre.

"Hello ma'am. My name is Kermit Jagger, and I'd like a loan"

"Well," says Patricia, quite taken aback about a talking frog, "I'll need to have some colateral to process the loan."

"Of course," Kermit says, as he hands a small elephant made of resin.

Patricia picks up the elephant, and walks over to the branch manager's office, and explains the situation.

"Sir, and then he handed me this," as she hands the elephant over. "What is that?"

"That's a knick-knack, Patty Mac, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

 

[Isida Kep'Tukari]

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
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A nervous wreck!

 

[Dieter]

A British airman is shot down over Nazi territory during WWII. Whenn e gets to the hospital, horribly maimed and mangled, the German surgeon tells him that he's going to lose his leg. The airman says,

"Ok, but the next time you blokes bomb London, will you drop my leg over my home in England?"

They agree.

The next week the airman's other leg gets nasty and they have to amputate it. He again asks that they drop his leg over England the next time they bomb it.

They agree.

The next week, the airman's arm gets infected and once again he asks that if they must that they drop it over England. This time the surgeons aren't as understanding.

"Nein! Ziss vee can not do any longer!"

The airman asks "Why?"

The Nazi says, "Vee thinks you are trying to escape!"

 

[kingpaul]

Did you hear that a Picabo Street was once a Candy Striper in the intensive care unit of her local hospital growing up? Well, they quicly stopped her from answering the phones as she would always answer: "Picabo, ICU"

 

[Noldor Elf]

There were UN survey about the food situation around the world. It consisted of one question: "What is your honest opinion about the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
In Western Europe, they didn't undestand what is shortage
In Eastern Europe, they didn't understand what is food
In China, they didn't understand what is opinion
In Southern America they didn't understand what is honest
And in United States they didn't understand what is the rest of the world.

 

[Hypersmurf]

MADD = Mathematicians
Against
Drunk
Deriving

All right.

e^x and a constant have been out drinking one night, and when the bar closes, they begin to stagger off home.

But when they reach the park, they notice someone lurking just off the path.

"Oh my god!" cries the constant. "It's a differential operator! He'll turn me into nothing!" And the constant flees off into the night.

But e^x thinks about this a moment. "What do I care?" he says to himself. "I'm e^x! I'm transcendental! Differential operators can't hurt me!"

And, filled with confidence, he begins to walk through the park.

As he draws near the shady figure, he declares in a drunken voice, "Evening! I'm e^x!"

The differential operator showed his teeth. "Hello. I'm d/dy..."

-Hyp.

 

[kingpaul]

How do pirates pay?

A buck an ear

 

[kingpaul]

double posted joke - sorry

 

[Tarrasque Wrangler]

A hillbilly outlaw is arrested. His attorney goes to see him in his holding cell and says, "I've got bad news Jethro. They've just arrested your wife, your sister, and your mother for aiding and abetting you."

Jethro starts to sob and says, "When can I see her?"