[OT] Baby Troubles

[Maerdwyn]

Hi Mistwell - just wanted to let you know that my wife is an OB/GYN. If you think she could answer some questions for you, drop us (well, Margaret, actually, since she's theone who actually knows what she's talking about) an email. (This isn't intended to step on the toes of your fiance's doc, or to interfere in anyway, whatsoever, with care your fiance is receiving, of course )

Be well,
Ian

iliston at covad dot net

 

[Samothdm]

Hi, Mistwell.

This was the response from my attorney friend in L.A. about job opportunites. The private sector doesn't sound very promising, but many there are some opportunities in the public sector. I hope it helps, and again, the best of luck to you and your family.

***
"I don't know of very many non-governmental places that are actively hiring. The private practice market is a bit scarce now -- large firms are closing up shop, and merging with other firms. Indeed, our office is nearly full-up.

My suggestion, however, is for him to look at perhaps the Civil Division of the U.S. Attorney's Office (if he wants to do governmental work). There's also job listings for other federal posts on the Department of Justice's website (www.usdoj.gov). That's one place to start. State government jobs have a longer lead-time, as you need to take a "placement test" (basically, you bubble in your resume on a scantron form) and there's a set rotation of "open periods" where they accept applicants.

Privately, I'm not really sure, other than the cold letters or having him call people at various firms."

 

[Michael Sorensen]

Actually I am curious about the adverse health effects on the baby from being born so premature. Are there any? If so, what are they?

Generally speaking, there are going to be problems from being born so premature. The severity depends on the circumstances before and during the birth, and the quality of the doctors, nurses, and facilities after the birth.

In my son's case, he faced serious challenges because there was no amniotic fluid in the womb for the month my wife was on bedrest. However, among babies born that early it is common to have lung problems (require use of a ventilator or supplemental oxygen), vision problems (especially if the child is on a ventilator with high levels of oxygen, it is called retinopathy of prematurity), sensory overload (the nervous system isn't compeletely developed, this clears up with time), brain bleeds, and other problems.

Please don't let this list frighten you (my son was a challenging case, even among premies) -- we saw at least one baby born even earlier than our son not even need oxygen -- they just kept her in the ICU as a precautionary measure, but it is almost always better to keep the baby in the womb as long as possible.

I can say again -- ask every question you possibly can of the doctors and nurses. If they are any good they will take the time to explain to you exactly what is wrong, what they are doing to treat it, why they chose that treatment, what side effects there may be, and possible alternatives. If they get cranky ask for someone else to explain it -- you need to know. Since so many people are usually involved in caring for patients in a situation like this the fact that you know everything that is going on will help prevent mistakes or misunderstandings, even by the best doctors and nurses.

 

[Mercule]

Premies

My nephew was born 3? months early. When he was born, he was about the size of my ferret, which is to say 2.5 lbs. and would have fit in a McDonald's super-value soda cup, with the lid on. He was in ICU until just past his scheduled due date. Most of that time was on resperator and other equipment.

Overall, he seems reasonably normal, now, at age 4. Maybe a bit sick, but no worse than some full-term babies I've seen. He's a bit short, but so is his dad. He's a bit hyper-active, and not the brightest, but his folks aren't on speaking terms and his mom's a high-school drop-out (but she finally got her GED, yeah!) and doesn't really give him the attention she should; so I'm more willing to chalk everything up to environmental factors than him being a premie. He'll probably grow up to be smarter and more successful than his dad.

I wouldn't fret overly about premies. Sure, they need a bit more care than other kids, especially the first couple of years, but they still have all the potential of a full-term baby.

 

[BV210]

You, Melody, and your baby are in my thoughts and prayers. As many have stated on this thread, I can sympathize with having a sick child. Our 10-year-old daughter who had been seizure free for nearly 5 years started exhibiting symptoms that her seizures were coming back. With medication, all seems to be well.

Be strong for Melody. She will need your support more than ever right now.

As for job-hunting, have you considered the Armed Forces? All four branches have Legal divisions. As an attorney, you'd start as a Captain, and depending on how much experience you have, possibly even higher than that. I've seen some brand new commissioned lawyers and doctors come in as Majors and Lieutenant Colonels! You'd have a 2-4 week school (teaches how to march, wear the uniform, and salute - I'm AF, other services' may be longer, not sure) but after that you'd be a full-time military lawyer.

Anyway, best wishes to all three of you.

 

[Henry]

My regret is not seeing this thread sooner.


I am so sorry to hear, and unfortunately am not in a position to offer anything but moral support. Your family is in my prayers.

 

[Mistwell]

Sad News

Friends:

I have some sad news. After 21 weeks of trying to help the baby along, Melody and I found out yesterday that our baby is not going to make it. The baby is not getting sufficient oxygen, nutrients, and blood, and is not growing rapidly enough (the baby is at a 17-week stage, but the pregnancy is at 21 weeks, and growth rate is slowing further). There is nothing that can be done to treat the problem, and our baby will die in utero.

The doctors still do not know why this has happened. After a massive battery of tests, including probably over 50 vials of blood, countless urine samples, many deep ultrasounds, and other tests, none of our doctors can tell us what caused this. Every single test came back negative.

The best guess is Extreme, Early Toxemia (also known as early pre eclampsia). This is a very rare thing (though not uncommon later in pregnancy, it is very uncommon at this point in a pregnancy). However, Toxemia may be more of a symptom than a cause, nor are there any signs of Toxemia in Melody's blood or other symptoms.

It could be a genetic issue. However, our doctors feel that is very unlikely, since there are no other signs of a genetic problem. They tell us it is about a 10% chance it is genetic, and that is an exaggerated estimate. We will know for sure once direct genetic testing can be done on the baby.

It seems the likelihood is we will never know what caused this. Sometimes babies just don't make it, and science cannot find a cause. Our doctors assure us it is unlikely this will happen in a second pregnancy (perhaps 15% chance of Toxemia happening again, and that likely would be at a more manageable stage of the pregnancy).

We have the option of terminating the pregnancy or letting the baby die on its own. We have opted for the later. We would rather not ever have to face any doubt that perhaps a miracle could have occurred and saved the baby (however impossible that seems). And our doctors assure us that the baby feels no pain at this stage of development. We do not know how much longer the baby will survive, and will be going to the doctors twice a week to monitor the situation. After the baby dies it will be removed, and tested to see if they can determine what went wrong.

I cannot tell you how difficult this is for both of us. We are very attached to this child. We know it is a girl, and have been working on names for her for many months. Many times we have seen her grow, seen her move, seen her heart beat, seen her react to stimulus, and even seen her face (Skeletor-looking that she is at this stage), all under deep ultrasound – all she has ever looked like to us is a wonderful, active baby girl. In fact, we even have a videotape of multiple ultrasounds (in addition to some print-outs) of her. Melody has felt her kick many times. We have both talked to her, sung to her, and spoken words of encouraged to her (despite knowing she cannot understand - but can hear sounds). And we have both prayed and worried over her for many months, as have so many others. We have purchased a bit of clothing for her (some small booties), had preliminary baby shower plans for her, had visitors scheduled to be in town for her birth, and of course been very open about what we are going through with everyone. And we have fought for her and made sacrifices - oh my how hard we have fought to keep this baby alive and healthy.

So now we wait, and say goodbye to our daughter. After that, we will grieve. There is a psychology group of similarly-situated people that we believe is covered under our health plan that we will probably attend. Perhaps we will travel when things settle down, and get away for a little while. And then we will hopefully move somewhat beyond this experience.

There are some good things that come from this. Things like this make it a lot easier to put life priorities in order. And it brought Melody and I closer together, a lot closer. Living together, marriage, having children, growing old together - these are not decisions we need to make anymore. We know with absolute certainty how much we love each other and belong together, and that is an amazing feeling. If you believe in destiny and purpose in life (as we do), perhaps that was the purpose of this child - to bring Melody and I together.

My thanks goes out to all of you who were so supportive over these many months, some of whom we do not know in person and never will know. Your prayers served a purpose - they made us feel less alone, and I thank you for that.

Sincerely,

Mark "Mistwell" Cronan

 

[Storminator]

Deep sympathy Mark, to you and Melody. I can't imagine anything harder than letting a baby go.

Pete

 

[Maerdwyn]

Really sorry to hear that, Mark. You will be in our prayers.

Ian

 

[takyris]

Sorry to hear that, man. You're in my prayers.

-Tacky