[OT] I've got a great idea!

[Creamsteak]

Morrus
Morrus is a car that's heavier than it looks! It can extinguish fires and cures all known illnesses.

Darkness
Darkness is a sheet of paper! It looks like a pot-plant!

Dinkeldog
Dinkeldog is a security camera! It flashes at intervals!

Crothian
Crothian is a toaster that makes money fast! It wears a waistcoat and tie.

Hong
Hong is a rocket launcher that runs on six little wheels! It is powered by clockwork.

Dungeons and Dragons
Dungeons and Dragons is like a normal pogo stick, but it speaks with the voice of James Earl Jones.

Halfling
Halfling is an armband that removes stubborn stains, has velcro pads on the side and traps small animals.

Monte Cook
Monte Cook is like a normal greetings card, but it can play Mornington Crescent.

Nintendo
Nintendo is a screwdriver that extends at the touch of a button and contains a tinier version of itself.


is a cricket bat that induces lucid dreaming, works underwater and plugs into the mains.


is a feather duster that glows with an eerie green light!

Vecna
Vecna is a hair gel that fits into the boot of a car!

This is the best link I have seen in a long long time...

 

[Darklance]

Darklance is a new type of vegetable that's transparent, is transparent and catalogues its contents.

Brilliant. My special ability is listed twice!

Martha Stewart is a penknife that extends at the touch of a button, wears a waistcoat and tie and plays a mean game of Go.

My ass is like a normal waffle iron, but it's laced with vodka.

Crap is a necklace that's solar-powered and plays MP3s.

Design #1257796637
It's a coffee cup that destroys household pests! It shoots laser beams and loves you as a person.

 

[The Forsaken One]

Design #3748723084
It's a retinal implant! It catches small fish!

 

[Beale Knight]

OMG this is great. I've been laughing out loud so much my co-workers are giving me funny looks.

Beale Knight is like a normal golf club, but it loves children.

 

[Sir Osis of Liver]

Sir Osis
Sir Osis is a breathalyser that can play chess!

Hmm, isn't that ironic?

 

[Griswold]

Design #649932678
It's like a normal mattress, but it makes virtually no noise whatsoever.



Design #386711053
It's a genetically-modified sheep that's built and maintained by tiny nano-robots, communicates with wireless devices and plays the theme from Steptoe and Son.



Griwold
Griwold is a pager that shreds documents! It mows your lawn.

don;t know about that lawn stuff....


G.

 

[Knight Otu]

Design #3198572904
It's an electronic implant that moves from side to side! It makes virtually no noise whatsoever.

Sounds painful...


Design #958180800
It's an umbrella that squeaks, uses captured Martian technology and tells you when people are lying.

Does that include the ability to fly?


Creamsteak beat me to Dungeons and Dragons...


Knight Otu
Knight Otu is a baseball cap that collects litter! It sorts your mail.

Err...

 

[Bagpuss]

Design #666
It's a scooter that recites haiku!

Can't get more evil than that...

 

[Lela]

Design #3390299628
It's a chainsaw that dispenses tea or coffee! It can be used to scrape ice off of windscreens.


I think this would almost work. Something Tim Taylor would come up with.

And this one is just perfect,

Dr. Laura

Dr. Laura is a refrigerator that connects to the web and connects to a handgun.

 

[Slacker]

Design #414770871
It's a fax machine! It is audible only to dogs!


Design #1640390862
It's a blender that will not work outside of the UK, smells a bit funny and keeps children amused.


Design #3060861127
It's a pair of sunglasses that can pick locks!


Design #2574515722
It's like a normal pen, but it makes hilariously rude noises.


Design #2232912377
It's a fork that believes itself to be self-aware!


Design #120119476
It's a genetically-modified sheep! It hasn't gone on any murderous rampages yet!


Design #1605220456
It's a video recorder! It exists in five dimensions!