[OT]Where's my Player's Handbook?

[Jezrael]

Nyarlathotep called, he said he'd get your PHB back from the kiddie kultists on Thursday after they've used it to summon Trollthulhu out from under his sunken ruined bridge.

 

[Chun-tzu]

I can help you find it. By using hypnotism, I can put you in a trance to help you remember where you left it. Trust me, it works every single time. Ok, ready?

Get something on a pendulum and start swinging it slowly. never taking your eyes off the pendulum (while you simultaneously read my instructions). Take deep, slow breaths, and count down from 20. As you start reaching 1, you find yourself entering a hypnotic trance.

...5...4...3...2...1... You are now in a hypnotic trance.

You will go out and buy a glamor magazine and think it is your Player's Handbook. You will find answers to every D&D question in this magazine. You will not understand why people laugh at you when you create a level 16 supermodel with the feats Great Cleavage and Weapon Finesse: Stiletto Heels. You will wonder why you never noticed Vadania on the cover and wonder when she got so skinny. You will laugh at EN Boarders who type "Rogue" when they obviously mean "Rouge". Whenever you make a Knowledge or Lore check, you will recall how to keep a man or how to make your orgasms last longer. You will carry 5 different suits of the same kind of armor (but in different styles and colors) with you on every adventure, because you refuse to be seen in the same outfit during different encounters. You will insist that your character reroll on the weight table every week, because he's been on this new diet, and get depressed whenever your character has not lost weight.

Ok, when I count to 5, you will awaken fully refreshed. You will carry out my instructions but not be able to remember anything that happened while you were in the trance. 1...2...3...4...5...

There. Now why don't you go for a stroll past the nearest magazine stand and I bet you remember exactly where you left it.

 

[kenjib]

You've got to think like a PHB to find the PHB. So you've got to ask your self- "If I was a PHB where would I be?"

MONTE COOK HAS MY PHB????

Hey, give it back!

 

[Kobold Curry Chef]

I have looked every where for it. It's not in the bedroom or the living room.

Anyone got any ideas?


g!

Congratulations! You have achieved the level of Rules Master. Now that you have memorized the entire book, the PHB's job on this plane is done. It has vanished, and will now seek a new student in the arts of D&D Rules Mastery.

All bow before the new Master!

 

[green slime]

Notice that green puddle over there by the refrigerator...

That's all that remains of your phb after it got slimed!

 

[Wolf72]

your roommate obviously has it and is reading it, yet he does not know the acronym of PHB. When you ask about it he looks at you blanky and goes back to reading this large brownish tome that you've never quite noticed before ...

 

[MythandLore]

It probably got eaten by the troll.

 

[MaxKaladin]

I swear, if your head wasn't attached you would lose that too.

I suppose the bunnies could have taken it.

 

[Dalenthas]

Don't worry though, it will be in the last place you look for it.

Man, this is true EVERY TIME! WOW! Actually, if he stops looking before he finds it, then it won't be there .

 

[KnowTheToe]

If you spent more time with your girlfriend, she wouldn't have to hide it from you.